The Eisenhower Decision Matrix: How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks | The Art of Manliness Tomorrow its time to hit the books, hit fat, do all my reps, all my walking, and really make a budget and a plan. Shit happens, but I can't be a victim of my own life. I'm not a victim. I have survived unimaginable trauma, and now I actually wasted a day worrying about some stupid depression. It has been a rough few weeks, a lot of death, a lot of self analysis, fell in love with someone completely unavailable and completely unrealistic in every aspect, geographically, emotionally, personality-wise, everything... but I couldn't fight the feelings and I couldn't ignore them anymore. The only option is to end contact with someone that meant a great deal to me and that helped me more than anyone in the recent past. You can't have it both ways, and people like me are all or nothing and need everything explained and qualified. He couldn't do that. I don't blame him. It will be okay. I will carve my own path, guidance helps, but I can do this. I just wish things were different. They never are though. It's good to know I can still love at least. That's a plus I guess... I was beginning to wonder. My journal posts are usually, and may continue to be all over the place. Am I crazy? Yeah, maybe... but more than anything I just say exactly how I feel nearly every moment I feel it, which changes rapidly. I guess that's not a good thing for most people to be around. I have a book I would like to finish tomorrow. Then another that I am going to order off amazon if I can find it. I have so much to do. And all of it is to improve myself. I may not have a specific goal, well except to look good naked, and that pull-up, I want to do that fucking pull-up. That's good enough for now, hopefully the rest will fall into place. Thank God my feelings of love were not reciprocated... I would've ruined someone's life most likely. I realize now how selfish I was being. I'm sorry. Tonight, maybe some more tears, but then sleep, long... deep... sleep. Tomorrow, getting off my fucking pity pot and just doing it. Just doing it. One little step at a time.