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Thread: Jena's Journal... page 12

  1. #111
    Jena's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Awake when I can sleep in... always.
    Last edited by Jena; 11-02-2013 at 04:17 AM.

  2. #112
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    Today is supposed to be a super fun day, but I think I am maxed out social "fun". My weekends have been jam packed with social activities. I promised, so I have to rally and make it to this party. It's the U of M v MSU game... kind of a big deal here. I don't really care who wins honestly, I don't follow college football. Then I'm supposed to go to some Halloween party. I am definitely skipping that. All I want to do is hang out at home, go buy stuff for some good beef stew, and set up my new computer. My body hates me right now. I have been losing weight, and exercising, but not as consistently as I should be. I woke up this morning and all of my joints hurt, my lower back is killing me, my brain is all fuzzy. I'm not thinking clearly. One more party, one more because I promised then its time to nourish my body, mind, and soul. I need to eat, read, exercise, meditate. I'm grateful for the crazy past few weeks because its made me appreciate being alone, having down time. I've been so bummed out about being single lately. It never occurred to me to enjoy this time. To cherish it because, as much as I want to be in a relationship, I won't have all this time to myself. I feel like someone could come into my life any minute now too, so I better squeeze in all the "me time" I can now

  3. #113
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    Yay for me time!

    Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by justme View Post
    Yay for me time!

    Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
    Happy to say that the party was very fun and I am glad I went. I'm also glad that I skipped out on the Halloween party and I'm wrapped up in a cozy blanket sipping a glass of Shiraz. I love my me time. I don't always want to be alone, but today... I'm happy

  5. #115
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    I am constantly reminded that life is short. I will not waste my time with fantasies, I will not waste my time on people that have no adventure in them. I will live every fucking moment like its the only one I have. If I want to go out, I will, if I want to curl up in blankets, I will, if I want to laugh, cry, bitch, be mean, be defensive... I fucking will. My heart might get broken, but at least I'm using it.
    Last edited by Jena; 11-03-2013 at 02:28 AM.

  6. #116
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    I can't sleep. I am restarting my primal adventure yet again, minus one of my biggest supporters. That's my fault. I can do this though. I'll cry and hate myself until I fall asleep and I'll wake up and start over. And I will do well, and get stronger, and I will prepare. Some people think I'm crazy. They may be right, but I like who I am. I'm not scared anymore. I'm excited for what may be. There have been two people in my life that I loved, and pushed away. Well I have pushed away many people, but only two that I was in love with. I'm beginning to realize that this happened for a reason. They weren't jerks, they are good men. Just not compatible with someone like me. Some people are scared of their feelings, scared to change. I've gone through more changes than I can list in the last year, hell, in the last month! It feels good, and it hurts. I can't be anything but who I am, I can learn and grow, and explore, but the core of myself will never change and I don't want it too. I was put on this earth for a reason... it's my job to figure out what that is.

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XnJV_c4YLtE

  7. #117
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    Well I thought sleep would solve my heartache, then I thought a little sun and fresh air would. I can't eat, I just want to sleep for a few days. Sometimes I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, like there is no doubt in my mind, and then there are days like today that make me feel I have done something wrong, like I have strayed off of my path simply by following my heart and speaking my mind. How can that be wrong? Maybe painful and wrong don't mean different things I suppose.

  8. #118
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    What the hell. That's the problem with drug induced sleep, it's deep, but I doesn't last nearly long enough. There's one obvious answer.

  9. #119
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    Hugs, Jena.

    Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

  10. #120
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Quote Originally Posted by justme View Post
    Hugs, Jena.
    I don't deserve hugs these days, but thanks.

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