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  1. #101
    Jena's Avatar
    Jena is offline Senior Member
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    I'm a bad person. I hurt people that I care about when I feel insecure sometimes. I haven't felt this low since my "rock bottom". I hate myself for what I've done. Just remember words are so much more than words... their doing can be permanent.

  2. #102
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    Losing people hurts. Whether you drive them away, they leave, they die, they move away... it hurts. One day of boo hooing for my two losses (for very different reasons) and back at trying like hell to not fuck my life up again tomorrow. I'm good at being alone. This must be why I push people away. I better start embracing my loneliness instead of fighting it.

  3. #103
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    CaptainAwkward.com | Advice. Staircase Wit. Faux Pas. Movies. you can learn to change - I have found this site very helpful.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    CaptainAwkward.com | Advice. Staircase Wit. Faux Pas. Movies. you can learn to change - I have found this site very helpful.
    I will check it out definitely. It's not that I'm socially awkward or even anti-social... I just tend to push/scare people away, men specifically (whether or not it's a relationship of romantic context or not). It's something I need to work on. I'm lucky enough to have a long term group of friends, about 90% female of course... around 20ish people that accept me as I am. I love being with them. I just require a lot of solitude also. I'm at a confusing, but hopeful time in my life. I always love your input, thank you <3

  5. #105
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    Hello dear,
    I do the 'TOO INTENSE so you'll reject me and prove that you were an untrustworthy git and reinforce my rejection complex' thing to romantic partners. I'm also sometimes kind of a shitty person. I've been reading that site for a few months now and it has helped rather a lot - I see extra layers of oddity in my responses to situations - boundary crossing and so forth - that I hadn't noticed before. I really like how she explains things and is also very inclusive.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  6. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    I do the 'TOO INTENSE so you'll reject me and prove that you were an untrustworthy git and reinforce my rejection complex' thing to romantic partners. I'm also sometimes kind of a shitty person.
    Wow... that's frighteningly accurate for me. In fact I don't know if I've ever heard what I do put so well. Checking it out for sure.

  7. #107
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    I need someone primal to punch me right in the face for this complete disaster, nutritionally speaking, of a weekend.

  8. #108
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    So happy to be home after a very unprimal weekend. I am having waves of nausea, anxiety, and just feel physically, emotionally, spiritually, and nutritionally empty. I need to go cook some healthy fatty primal food with some broccoli. I need a serious dose of micronutrients as well. But I just feel sick and weak. Dinner, I will make a good dinner. For now rest and football.

  9. #109
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    Posting this on my journal at the suggestion of a good friend. It may not be "primal" related, but it's life related. This is my part of an email exchange with this friend...

    "The grass is always greener... and I've tried enough wieners to know. I made the vow that I will not have loveless sex again though. And I'm sticking to it. It isn't easy.

    I'm not talking about romance. I'm talking about something deeper. Yes romance is part of that, but I DO UNDERSTAND that it's a small part. I look at my friend's marriages and they are based around getting the kids here and there, getting new cars, a bigger house, just someone to fill the empty space next to you in bed. THAT is not what I want.

    I don't have a role model for a relationship. I want myself and the person I love to make our own rules. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Everything has a beginning and an end. I'm ready to be at the beginning. I can't make some plan or have an expectation of what it will be without the other half of the equation.

    You may remember what it's like to be alone or lonely, but it's much different in your early 20's than in your early, nearing mid 30's. If you still are lonely, then you are definitely NOT a role model for a relationship I would want.

    I would never place a personal ad. If I did, yes... I think my journal would be a good one. It's honest, raw, hopeful, depressing, and shows my strengths and weaknesses. In short, it's the real me, which is something that is constantly changing and evolving. I'm not fake, I don't hold back, and I would never pretend to be someone I'm not in the interest of attracting a man because he'd end up being the wrong one and I could miss out on the one that would love me for who I really am. I just know it's time. I feel ready again. Yes, parts of me are a confused mess, but my core values and my level of commitment to someone I love and that loves me back are unshakeable."

  10. #110
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Hmm... at my first pro hockey game. There is something very primal about watching hot guys bash the crap out of each other. Front row! Right there!! Lovin it!!

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