Primal Primate's Journey to find his inner Grok page 9

[Ayla2010]

Great loss PP!
Hope tomorrow is better for you.

[Primal Primate]

Thanks Ayla!

[Primal Primate]

Day Sixteen

My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it! My legs are rubber, my body soaked in sweat and not for the first time in the last forty five minutes I think to myself "What the hell am I doing here?" I don't have time to answer as I hear the popping smack sound that is so distinctive to a squash ball hitting the wall at speed. I know the ball is on its return trip from the wall. Traveling somewhere between warp 8 and 9 that little ball is moving through the air and I better be moving to intercept it or I'll concede another point to my opponent. My opponent... ten years younger than me and a hundred or more pounds lighter than me has the T in the center of the court and is not giving it up. He's tall and that gives him the reach of a bloody orangutan - anywhere in the court seems to be accessible by him with little to no movement.

All this goes through my head in an instant, that moment just after the smacking sound of the ball hitting the front wall and just before my brain registers to my protesting legs to move. It's unclear if they are going to at first but then muscles contract and I am moving towards the ball like a drunken forest elephant crashing through the jungle after one too many fruits off the marula tree. Lumbering perhaps best describes my movements although in my mind I'm agile like a cat, a fat out of shape cat better suited to sleeping in the sun than chasing little black balls, but a cat none the less! I make it to the ball and even manage to make a return shot - nothing pretty but it hit the front wall and that's what counts! I barely have time to recover before I am sent bumbling back the other way to return the ball again. I know I'm going to feel this in the morning but right now I'm grinning like the cheshire cat, ecstatic that I'm back on a court with a squash racquet in my hands.

Although I lost all four games, I loved every second of it and can not for the life of me remember why I stopped playing squash 7 plus years ago. I may be slower and fatter than before but the drive to play is still there and who knows as the weight drops maybe just maybe I'll win a couple games too. Then again does it really matter - I was out to have fun and that's exactly what I had. Can't wait for the next round of games.

Now if the snow would just leave so I could rekindle my love of mountain biking... I'm forced to ask myself why I gave this life so long ago?

Sixteen days in and loving it!
Grok on!

[ssn679doc]

Day Sixteen

My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it! My legs are rubber, my body soaked in sweat and not for the first time in the last forty five minutes I think to myself "What the hell am I doing here?"

Dang, for a second there I thought you were talking sex! Way to open a post and grab the reader's attention! lol

Glad to hear that you are having a good time with this adventure of yours! Keep going!

[Primal Primate]

Dang, for a second there I thought you were talking sex! Way to open a post and grab the reader's attention! lol

Glad to hear that you are having a good time with this adventure of yours! Keep going!

Hey ssn679doc!
Glad you enjoyed the last post - I'll do my best to keep them fun and entertaining. Thanks for the comment. Cheers!

[Ayla2010]

How you doing with those stones PP?
Do you remember how big they are?

[bamabelle]

1.I’m lazy. I really am. I don’t mean I’m lazy like the kid who is slowly becoming part of the couch he is sprawled across with a bag of Doritos propped on his chest so he can inhale them while playing the latest video game until his brain turns to mush. I mean I have no time or desire to count calories, or points or anything else for that matter! It doesn’t do it for me. I tried paleotrack.com, At first it was the greatest new toy in my toolbox. Sure I would spend much time weighing and measuring and listing and then studying the graphs and the lists and all the rest but to what end? Some of the items I found most important (vitamins and omega 3 supplements) were not listed and I have no clue how to list the nutrients in them. Some of the items I wanted to list where there but not in the format I was eating them – for example why is broccoli listed raw but not roasted, steamed, or cooked in any other way, but broccoli raab is… what the hell is broccoli raab anyway?!? This tool is a great idea, if you are a calorie counter, a person who obsesses over the numbers but part of my journey to Grokdom is to get away from overcomplicating things. So I can admit I am lazy – too damn lazy to count the numbers.

ME TOO!!!

Awesome weight loss. Even more awesome that you are getting back to playing and fun Sorry about the stones. I do hope that your energy levels are returning! Though stress is a legitimate source of exhaustion; I suffer with that a LOT!

Sending good vibes your way!

Amanda

[Primal Primate]

Hey Ayla,
The stone is doing fine - I've named it Conner (kidding) In all seriousness it has not given me any trouble but the more research I do on it the more I am leaning towards having it removed - I'm not sure I want to live the rest of my life with the thought that this thing could erupt into major problems at anytime. I figure this is just one of those no win dilemmas we end up being faced with in life. I'm choosing to use this as more motivation to get the weight off and hopefully back away from that line where medical issues start cropping up because of weight and diet. I'm as close to that line as I am willing to get.
Thanks for stopping by my thread! Hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

[Primal Primate]

Sorry about the stones.

Hey Amanda,
This is perhaps the weirdest sentence I have read on my thread! I had a good, albeit adolescent, chuckle when I read it! The stone is good - playing the waiting game to find out what the surgeon has to say next month. Thanks of the good vibes! The temperature is falling here so I have been an indoor primate lately but still finding ways to play and hopefully keep shedding the pounds. Hope you are having a great weekend! Thanks for stopping by.

[Primal Primate]

The evening feast is done, we have enjoyed the spoils of another successful hunt. As the last morsels of succulent fire roasted meat are shared amongst friends the drums come out, shakers are passed around and with bellies full we move from the feast to the fire circle. A song strikes up - primal in its beat. Undulating voices, and strange instruments come in full force. Bodies move in unison to the sound - move to the feeling, unabashed at the on lookers, tomorrow will be a new day another day of surviving but for now its all about the dance, the movement, the celebration of living life to the fullest. At first I am so engrossed in this moment that I don't notice it but a new sound slowly intrudes on the music changing it from a harmonious primal surge into a cacophony of noise, it transforms celebration into stupor. In its harsh contrast to the sounds of the drum I am catapulted from a primal prehistoric lifestyle back into my boxers and bed. This new sound carries with it the promise of rush hour, rushed breakfast and elevated stress levels. Like a bulldozer in a pristine forest the sound of my alarm clock intrudes on the perfect primal life I have been enjoying - I've been dreaming again... while I slumber my mind makes sense of the words Mark has written on the page - words that make sense, and cause me head slapping moments of clarity where I can not help but be shocked at the simplicity of what Mark is proposing in his new book.

Over the last week I have not been on the forum much but I have been busy, as I read the new book I am starting to transform myself and my life. I've started to assess my wants and needs and prioritize the things and people that mean the most to me. I have discovered many things about myself, some good, some not so good. I have stopped making excuses, finding reasons to not try new things and procrastinate and instead I am taking back what is rightfully mine. I'm taking back my life and my health.

In the interest of taking back the good life I am now playing squash once a week, geocaching one a week, and playing soccer with the kids at my school every lunch hour. I'm working out on a regular basis now and starting to see some gains here. I'm looking forward to my first major hike of the year - a winter hike to the summit of Powerface Ridge a trip of 17km to 23km on foot in the snow, next month. As the weather gets warmer I am looking forward to more time outside. I am playing more and at the same time my "play" is becoming more physical in nature. While doing all this I am still finding time to relax, read and enjoy time with my fiancee. I am feeling healthier and happier and in the end this is what I have always been striving for. As I bring my personal life back into balance I am finding I have more motivation and energy in general.

An added bonus - the weight is still coming off too!

Here is to finding my way back to the path of the good life - Grok on!