Jorunal of a former obese teen living Primal page 6

[PHaselow]

Thanks for the advice. I have officially ruled out the military, just not something I want to do and I know I would be miserable with it. What I really want is to do something in nutrition or be a personal trainer. Or both. I'm considering the farm, but I just feel like it would get old and I don't see myself doing it long term. I have plenty of time to think about it though as I'm working on my GED and if I did take the job it wouldn't be till late winter or early spring. If I didn't take the job I could continue to work in the restaurant business, save money, and still live in the city and do what I want. If I were to go to the farm, it's pretty isolated and that would be my life. I think it would be nice and peaceful for a while as well as being a good learning experience, but If it is just free food and a place to live, when I decide to leave where do I go from there? I'll have no money, unless of course it is paid work. Any money earned would be saved as I'll basically have no expenses as well as all I want of some of the most nutritious foods on the planet. This is a really tough time in life for me, I've never felt so lost.

Well, revising my earlier post: take the job only if it pays you.

How isolated would it be? You have transportation to get to the gym or wherever you work out? Internet connection? Isolation isn't a bad thing for some people; and probably a good thing for all of us at times in our life!

As an employer in the restaurant business, I would be so impressed with a young man who went to work on a farm. I think it might make you MORE marketable in the food business for those healthier restaurants if you had real life experience growing and raising the food they bring into their kitchens. Not sure what you do right now for money; I didn't read every single post of yours. Where do you work?

I still believe this is a great opportunity. I hope you continue to think about it and that the offer stands even if you don't make an immediate decision.

[perennialpam]

I gave into a temptation on Thursday evening. My results didn't really show up until Friday evening and all day Saturday. Sometimes I don't connect the dots but today on my way into work I realized I didn't have any head fog, I wasn't achy - I simply felt so much better.

So that awful temptation will not be calling to me any time soon. I need to stay away from the local fare named "Chinese Food". All bread coated, deep fried, and surgary at the same time!

I guess we need lessons every now and then to realize these things.

All the best to you.

[BennettC]

The only way I would consider the job is if they payed me, which I think it is a payed job. It's maybe 20 minutes from Charleston so not too isolated and there are stores down the road. It is 2 hours from my mother though. As far as a gym, the outdoors would be my gym. Prolly get one of those pull-up bars that you can do dips and other exercises on too. Just working on the farm would keep me in shape for the most part. It also happens to be in a national forest. I'd be living on good clean soil with all natural foods. The freshest possible at that. I would have raw milk straight from the teet every day, free range eggs, wild animals to hunt, ponds full of fresh fish. Would start a big garden for myself and to make extra money selling at the Charleston farmers market. It's going to take some serious consideration. The ladies and I both agreed that I need to get my GED first and then move forward from there. I know the pay won't be much, but it would be more about the experience. Most of the money could be saved as well. As of right now I don't have a job and am looking for one.

[Periwinkle]

I keep noticing in other posts how dedicated to meat you are. Have you ever stumbled across the "Dirty Carnivore" forum. It is for people who only eat meat. Im a true omnivore myself...but you might get some great ideas from the Dirty Carnivore site.

[BennettC]

Yes, I've been lurking on there lately but have yet to join. They seem like good people over there and I plan on joining their discussion soon. I have made some good friends over here and this forum is much more active. I learn new things daily here and am constantly coming across great new studies and products. I am about to start eating a lot more fermented foods including fermented vegetables to heal my gut, a lot of them over there are big on fermented veggies as well.

[BennettC]

My mom fucking pisses me off! Why am I always up to something and doing something wrong? So fucking tired of this bullshit. She's so fake and is really making me depressed.

[PHaselow]

My mom fucking pisses me off! Why am I always up to something and doing something wrong? So fucking tired of this bullshit. She's so fake and is really making me depressed.

You are an adult? Over 18, I mean? If this is such a toxic environment, then perhaps it is best to find a way to be on your own. Or to somehow distance yourself by being gone all day or gone when she is home (except for sleeping). Since it is her home you have to abide by her rules, be respectful, yada yada yada. I know it isn't easy, and I know there is history between the two of you that we don't know.

Make this situation more of an incentive to get that GED and move on (not to get you down on yourself). Your relationship with her might improve once you are out of the house. You have done so much for yourself over the past 4 years despite your living situation. You are a motivated, smart, intense person. Look what you've done to your health and your appearance over the past 4 years. That is someone who can get the job done!

[BennettC]

Thanks for the encouraging words and I apologize for my language, I was very frustrated when I wrote that. I think I'm going to take the job on the farm as soon as I finish my GED and can negotiate things with them. I think my mother just sees me as a problem child and always will. I did a lot of really bad things in my teen years, terrible things. A lot of these were to rebel. After the divorce, I never wanted to be home because I could never have peace of mind around her. She has been depressed almost my entire life and it's a terrible thing to be around. Nothing has ever been private with her either, I learned in my teen years I could never tell her anything in private without the whole lot of her friends and half the town knowing. I just don't trust her plain and simple. When she found out about my pot smoking she called the police on me. That happened more than once too. She once had a Lieutenant come to the house and try to scare the living shit out of me and tried to make me feel like a junkie once. When I finally got a car I was never ever at home. Basically lived at friends houses and in fact one time she kicked me out of the house and I did live with a friend for a month. I would also intentionally work heavy hours to stay away from home. I totaled my car in a DUI accident in November of 2011 and almost killed two girls. She has never even looked at me the same since then. She trashed me to my probation officer in front of my face during the first visit. I simply have no trust with her and feel like I can't talk to her about anything...because I can't. A friend is mailing me some kefir grains and a few other health items and she saw a text between us about it. She immediately began questioning me and asked if I was lying to her. I said lying about what? what would I have to lie about? This is a short list to say the least. Yeah I did some horrible things, but I'm not that person anymore. I'm clean. I don't smoke or drink and I'm healthy. She can't see that.

[Urban Forager]

Sometimes family members aren't able to up-date their view as you change. My husband was pretty wild in his teens years. His parents were divorced and his mom was depressed and angry at men in general. He had a pretty volatile relationship with his mom. My husband moved out early, eventually went to college (in High School he went to a continuation school) and became a responsible person. His mom continued to think of him as a difficult teen, even years later when he had a Masters in his field, a steady job and was exceptional parent to our son. Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and move on.
I always tell him you can't choose your family and just because you are related doesn't mean you have that much in common with them. You need to be around people you trust and that appreciate you.

[urbancaveman]

Hey mate! Just seen your profile and you seem like you have got a lot of gains from going primal! I too sometimes struggle with my ma! she is a nurse that gives dietry advice but she is indoctrinated by CW and doesn't understand what this lifestyle is and the benefits it gives.

I noticed that you switched from Stronglifts 5x5 in your workout routine, any particular reason?? What are your overall goals?

Keep up the good work!!