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Thread: Time for something else, I think page 4

  1. #31
    RichMahogany's Avatar
    RichMahogany is online now Senior Member
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    Serious brain chemistry issue. Eat more fat.

  2. #32
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    Before asking what to do differently, it will be great to get a full picture of what you've got as a norm right now.

    What we know:

    You maintain 1300-1650 cals for 4-5 months, losing 18 lbs in the process (10% Body weight)
    Normally you do not experience hunger
    You had a quick regain of 4 lbs
    You have a physically demanding job and do some slow movement
    You have a lot of stress in your life
    Relaxation techniques lead you to depressive soul-searching
    you have a past history of reverting the weight loss

    What we do not know:

    Your macros and food choices (save for pumpkin seeds)
    Alcohol, dairy, fruits
    sleep status
    which supplements you are taking, including seaweeds, bone broth?
    did you recalculate your BMR to account to 20 lbs loss, and did you use Mifflin's equation to calculate it?

    Here is what I can tell you: 10% loss in body weight is a normal point to plateau. Pushing past this plateau is possible but often results in Bad Things Happening. I honestly believe that 4 lbs you are seeing is not a trend but a budge/some sort of re-balance. Changing one variable for 2 weeks may help you to stabilize your weight and after that start losing. The easiest variable in your case is macros, probably. Do a fat fast. Or, if your fats are high jack up protein. Drop all fruit or dairy if you are using it. Change just one thing and stick for 2 weeks. See what's up.

    I highly recommend Susan Alber's book "But I deserve this chocolate!" as it has a very short summary of a lot of psychological traps and how to avoid them by changing your thinking. I know, it irritates you and is too new agey and all that, but most people fail to lose weight not because they follow a bad diet or do bad exercise. They do it because they pay little attention to what they are thinking and where it takes them.

    Do not do a radical change. One thing. Stick. See what happens. Keep both eyes on the road, not one eye on the goal, or it will take longer to walk to the destination.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post
    Mediation makes me bored, anxious, antsy, and tends to focus me on the bitter aspects of my life and life in general.
    Everything makes you mad.

    You have a ton of obligations that you set yourself up for, which make you mad and resentful.

    But you think that 'being thin' is going to truly make you happy?

    See your comment about meditation? That's what it's supposed to do. Introspection isn't all rainbows and happiness and insta-enlightenment. It hurts. I've done it, and I continue to do it. It's amazing what bubbles up from the depths - but you have to re-experience it and move on, not pack it back in there like overstuffing a pillowcase.

    Until you peel those layers away, you could even lose 50 more lbs, but you're still going to be miserable.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotRodKristina View Post
    Everything makes you mad.

    You have a ton of obligations that you set yourself up for, which make you mad and resentful.

    But you think that 'being thin' is going to truly make you happy?

    See your comment about meditation? That's what it's supposed to do. Introspection isn't all rainbows and happiness and insta-enlightenment. It hurts. I've done it, and I continue to do it. It's amazing what bubbles up from the depths - but you have to re-experience it and move on, not pack it back in there like overstuffing a pillowcase.

    Until you peel those layers away, you could even lose 50 more lbs, but you're still going to be miserable.
    HRK is right. I'm reading your posts, and you are so unhappy, babe. It's not going to get better because you are thinner. I lived a life of hurt and anger. I starved myself to thin -- really thin. I looked great. And guess what: I still made poor choices and was ridiculously unhappy. I've had two horrible marriages, during both of which I suffered abuse and/or neglect. But I looked great while doing it! I've worked four jobs, gotten four degrees, and ended up suicidal.

    Please consider the suggestion of getting some good counseling. There are many affordable options out there. You need to value yourself -- love yourself -- enough to want more than just a pants size. You are worth so much more than that. But you've boiled your beliefs down into what you weigh, and shoved aside any happiness or joy you might ever have.

    Your frustration isn't about being Paleo/Primal -- it's about everything else in your life. When you move on to something else, you'll offload that frustration onto the next thing that allows you to avoid dealing with the real problem: your self-value.

  5. #35
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    I have to agree with everybody else - thin isn't the key to being happy. Doing things that make you happy is the key to being happy. If you went all low-fat and starved yourself down to your goal weight you'd still be in the same situation with the same stresses, the same dog, the same looming career, the same lack of time. You'd just also be half-starved.

    Honestly, it sounds like you're half-starved already. The amount of calories you're consuming is clearly not enough for the work you do. Whatever course you take in the future, I would suggest you eat more.

    The Play prescription doesn't mean "do the things on this list." It means every day, do something that is fun and relaxing for you. Chill out, in whatever way works best for you. It doesn't sound like you're doing that.

    Why did you give up video gaming? Video games are play. I play a significant chunk of Warcraft to unwind every week. I goof around online with my online friends. I read, I watch TV. Every now and then for me play is also going out for a bike ride, because I like being outdoors when the wind is blowing. But if you're reading the PB and only doing the "play" that Mark specifically calls out, it's not going to work unless those things are actually fun and relaxing for you.

    I guess the last thing I would say is, if you're miserable with your boyfriend and your schoolwork and your job and your upcoming career, you're not going to be happy until you make changes in those areas. Looking at the PB and deciding that's the big problem when it's just a tiny layer on top of all the other stresses in your life is not going to help.

    If, for you, PB is the straw that broke the camel's back, I would say, don't try to fix the straw; fix the load it landed on.

  6. #36
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    By the way, I didn't see anyone mentioning this, but you do know that your stress prevents you from losing weight, right?
    Everything is bad for something - How do you feel today?

  7. #37
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    I'm curious as to what you're eating. Could you give us a day's typical menu or a macronutrient breakdown?

  8. #38
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    It sounds to me like some serious pms coupled with high stress.

  9. #39
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    Honestly I am a little scared for you. This level of rage and stress is hugely worrying, and it sounds to me like you need to get your priorities in order. Being thin isn't going to make you less angry at your life, or less resentful at your partner, or less stressed about your job.

    You can get help for this for free. You don't need to pay. You can do body strengthening exercises for free by lifting yourself or heavy items around your apartment/home.

    Does your boyfriend (and I hesitate to use this term as you also called him "aging partner" - how old is he?) help out around the house? Is he incapable of earning an income? Does he get government assistance? Is he, in any way, supporting you - be it emotionally, financially, or just by "doing things?" If not, why are you with him? I assume you must love him but you appear hella resentful which does not for a good relationship make.

    Eating primal is probably the easiest "diet" I've ever tried. If your job is as physically demanding as you think it is, you're not eating nearly enough calories. Eating primal shouldn't leave you exhausted.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post
    None of the primal-approved ways to chill work for me. Working out leaves me seething with rage. Play, even more so because it's so time-wasting and juvenile. Mediation makes me bored, anxious, antsy, and tends to focus me on the bitter aspects of my life and life in general. I'm too poor to do CrossFit and have trouble finding a safe place to run (and build up my rage while doing it).

    I cannot relax anymore. I'm in graduate school, my boyfriend moved in, I have a dog and a job that is far from ideal. I have completely lost the things I truly loved doing - video gaming, reading, writing - in favor of too much other people, other obligations in my life. I'll never get them back, because when I finish school, I'll have to work even harder, put in more hours to advance my career, so I can make enough money to take care of an aging partner.

    All I want is to be thin so I can at least feel confident and be comfortable with myself while doing all of this.
    Oh, I see. You're unhappy. Being thin isn't going to make you happy. You probably can't believe that right now, but it won't. You know what might? Fixing the laundry list of problems you just wrote down.

    You chose to go to grad school even though it sounds like you don't like it. You chose to have your boyfriend move in even it though it sounds like you don't like that either. You chose to pile your plate up and advance your professional career instead of living with less and having more free time. You can also undo these choices if that's what you decide would be best for you. You don't have to do anything. You could go live in a hut with a gaming PC and an Xbox 360 and make your living as a freelance writer if you wanted.

    You choose.
    Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

    My Primal Journal

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