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Thread: Time for something else, I think

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Edmonton Canada
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    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post

    I really believed in this diet. No, it's not a lifestyle. It's just a very strict, incredibly bourgeois version of South Beach, which I once lost 30 lbs on, but could keep off because I couldn't eat bland food forever.
    Bland food? WTF steak, roast, fish, chicken, fruit, veg, butter, herbs, spices and more? How is this bland? I can only assume you are missing a cup of sugar sprinkled over each meal and if you are going to do that you will never loose weight.

    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post
    I have a physically demanding job that leaves me shaking with exhaustion on my way home a couple times each week, and yet I still manage to do as much of the pathetic pantywaist playtime bullshit as possible, although that will now stop in favor of real exercise.
    Although not as old as you I am close to your age and work in the Library is well. It is more taxing than being a desk jockey but I would not say it is physically demanding. It sounds like you are way too low on the calorie front and your emotional issues are stalling and sabotaging everything else.
    Last edited by Dirlot; 09-16-2012 at 10:56 AM.
    Eating primal is not a diet, it is a way of life.
    Don't forget to play!

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Dorset, UK
    I think that there is little point people trying to convince you of the incredible benefits that they have experienced eating and living this way. If you want to make this into a lifestyle you can, you just need to be in a place in your life when the time is right. fighting tooth and nail to live a way of life is no way of living.

    I would suggest that rather than calling it names, you take the path you want to, and hopefully it will lead you to peace, happiness, and the body you want. But be sure that a great body will not make you happy, that is a far more intrinsic thing.

    I've enjoyed my 'primal' day. Ate well, sprints this morning, and an hours ramble picking blackberries to supplement my diet. Nothing bourgeois about that, it's called LIVING :-)

    Good luck
    Last edited by PureFunctionalFitness; 09-16-2012 at 12:12 PM.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    You are WAY too stressed out and trying to control every aspect of your diet. You really, really need to relax with all the calorie counting, nutrient counting and just eat for a little while, get your stress under control and give your body some time to heal. And about the ongoing problems with constipation, unfortunately, by the time most of us end up here our gut flora is out of whack along with the rest of our bodies. Constipation is very often caused by dysbiosis, so until you get that under control you'll have problems. I eat very low fiber and have little problem moving my bowels unless I've gone overboard with starches. Increasing your fiber may make you "go" but it's artificial. Basically, you're irritating your guts. Add some fermented foods, raw dairy if you can handle/get it, probiotics and raw, organic, unwashed leafy greens/herbs from a source that you trust (home grown/farmer) and you should see improvement without adding back foods that aren't good for you. Dysbiosis can also make it had to lose weight, because damaged gut flora contributes to weight gain. And if exercise makes you so angry stop for a while and use that time to do what you want. Be selfish with some of your time, play video games, read or write. Play isn't just about physically playing, it's also about nurturing your inner self with the things that make you happy.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Okay first off, you should try and lower yourself to a level that doesn't seem like you've tried every single little thing this life style has to offer and failed. If it's not working change something until it does. The saddest thing about society today is they all try something and never want to put in the full effort. The best thing I've found about this lifestyle is that it's not set in stone. If your foods are bland, buy more herbs and spices. Hell, I was having the same problem a few months ago with thinking the foods were bland. What to know what I did? I got up, and took the bus to Trader Joe's and got something that would satisfy my hunger that was still in accordance to was I should and shouldn't eat. It's that simple? You say you want to try another diet and don't care if you die sooner, so how much do you actually care about being healthy? It doesn't seem like much to me. There are many different aspects of healthy, and just being skinny, and trust me on this, isn't going to solve your stress. If your job stresses you out, find a different one. You say you're in Graduate school, so I'm sure there is a career out there that alone will make you happy.I'm also a college student studying a foreign language, my mom always tries to force me into do something I don't want to do. I want to move abroad and teach English as a second language, because that alone will make me happy; regardless if I'm skinny or not, it's what I want to do. So, I always tell her that I'll find a job that'll make me happy. That's what I suggest to you. Find a place that'll make you happy, than focusing on loosing weight. I can assure you that until you are happy, no matter what life "diet" you try, you'll NEVER loose and keep the weight off if you don't figure out how to control your own stress level.

    Furthermore, maybe the reason why this diet never worked for you is because you thought of it as a "Diet" instead of a "lifestyle" you have the have the desire to change your life in order to change your body. You stop a diet, you don't stop a life style.

    Lastly, and this is coming from someone who used to meditate a lot when I first started college, if meditation is making you antsy, and all that other stuff you listed off, than you aren't properly mediating. There are many different ways to meditate, and just sitting with your eyes close trying to calm yourself down is not meditation. You have to actually try to focus on something, otherwise all you're doing is sitting inn the dark with your eyes closed, lost in the woods with out a way to get out.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    I resent 'playing' so much that my skin literally burns and reddens at the thought, so no,
    Play is supposed to be what you enjoy. You know, maybe use the time to write or read. My "juvenile" play is messing around with my horse. It relaxes my mind. No reason you can't read a book, play a video game or do something sedentary (walk on the treadmill while you read if you also need to move).

    Honestly, you sound like you have a shitty attitude. Why not just enjoy life? Get rid of the stuff you hate and be done with it. Find the annoying dog a new home....Find a new job.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    In your first post, you mention that you're a Type 1 diabetic, but you don't mention whether your blood sugar is under control. I know that stress can cause terrible problems with blood sugar for diabetics, but also if you're taking insulin, that tends to inhibit weight loss for many people.

    My advice would be for you to consult the website of Dr. Richard Bernstein, and possibly read his book Diabetes Solution. While is is mainly concerned with blood sugar control, I'm sure he gives advice about weight loss for diabetics, as they experience different challenges than non-diabetics.

    Dr. Bernstein is himself a Type 1 diabetic.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Play is supposed to be what you enjoy. You know, maybe use the time to write or read. My "juvenile" play is messing around with my horse. It relaxes my mind. No reason you can't read a book, play a video game or do something sedentary (walk on the treadmill while you read if you also need to move).

    Honestly, you sound like you have a shitty attitude. Why not just enjoy life? Get rid of the stuff you hate and be done with it. Find the annoying dog a new home....Find a new job.
    This ^^

    "Play" is whatever makes you happy. If you can't find happy, you should definitely rethink your entire life... PB is not to blame for the stress in your life. Really.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post
    None of the primal-approved ways to chill work for me. Working out leaves me seething with rage. Play, even more so because it's so time-wasting and juvenile. Mediation makes me bored, anxious, antsy, and tends to focus me on the bitter aspects of my life and life in general. I'm too poor to do CrossFit and have trouble finding a safe place to run (and build up my rage while doing it).

    I cannot relax anymore. I'm in graduate school, my boyfriend moved in, I have a dog and a job that is far from ideal. I have completely lost the things I truly loved doing - video gaming, reading, writing - in favor of too much other people, other obligations in my life. I'll never get them back, because when I finish school, I'll have to work even harder, put in more hours to advance my career, so I can make enough money to take care of an aging partner.

    All I want is to be thin so I can at least feel confident and be comfortable with myself while doing all of this.
    I am almost in tears reading all this stuff that you are finding hard, stressful, juvenile etc...
    I am yelling now. STOP !!!!! AND SMELL THE ROSES GIRL !!!!!!!!
    Chillax, sit down, and prioritize your life. Work out what is truely important - top of the list, not so important down the list.
    Tackle each one - one at a time, but not all of them at once !
    If its weight loss you are after - you are in the right forum. I am not going to give you a blow by blow of my life, but believe you me - I have had major issues with weight loss, and it WAS at the top of my list (not any more).
    Personally I think relaxing is the first thing you need to tackle.
    Get reading the more experienced senior members journals, maybe private message the odd one, but do not give up.
    If its gaming or reading you enjoy, cut some of the less important things out of your day, and add in a RELAXING passtime.
    but i beg you - you will regret going back to where you have been,
    however i am just having a senior moment, and at the end of the day - you have some choices.
    Good luck and keep us posted
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Delaware Valley
    Quote Originally Posted by parrottrl View Post
    That it isn't working for me! I don't mind the laundry list of rules and regs. I don't mind giving up grains. I never enjoyed ice cream that much. I resent 'playing' so much that my skin literally burns and reddens at the thought, so no, I don't do a lot of it. I don't mind the fat, although I wish it were easier to get enough fiber not to feel sick/constipated five days a week, but that's not the dealbreaker. The lack of progress is.
    You know a blueprint is just a plan, a guide. If you've ever built a house, stuff pops up that pushes you to alter the plan or go broke. Still, you end up with a house. It's OK pick and choose what works for you.

    Weight loss is also my top priority. I played around with lower carb and higher fat and ended up in a major stall. I'm back to 100-125g carb/day and doing much better. Based on my experience, your calories are in the right ball park. Choose the foods that work for you. I still have 12oz diet soda a day, chew gum with sorbitol, eat a bit of wheat once a week or so, eat the fruits I like without a shred of guilt. But on the whole, my diet is 1000X better than it was a year ago. I hardly exercise, even though I know a woman my age really needs to be lifting some heavy weight. Oh well, that's a project for another day.

    Do you not find that your blood sugar is better without grain and processed food? I guess if it's not, that would be a priority for you.

    The other stresses in your life can't be fixed by what you eat or don't eat, so you're going to have to find another strategy there.
    50yo, 5'3"
    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Shop Now
    So sorry that you are under so much stress! It does sound like the PB (as you understand it) is causing more stress in your life. I get the feeling that you feel you no longer have control of your life.

    Here is what I suggest. Look at your life. Look at your relationships, your living arrangements, school and work. Look at your diabetes, your weight. Now look at ways that you can take back control and feel in charge again. You sound resentful of your boyfriend, the dog, and the play. (Maybe I read some of that wrong though.)

    Maybe this isn't the relationship that you should be in. Look carefully at that. You wouldn't be the first to say to someone that you have made a mistake and you are not happy with how things are going. Be totally honest with yourself. Don't stay with him if being with him makes you resentful. You say that you have to work hard after you graduate to support him. Well, yes and no. If working hard is going to make you resent him, perhaps he deserves someone who is not resentful of him. It doesn't serve either of you well in the long run.

    By all means, ditch the "play" and do something that you LIKE. Play games online, watch movies, do what makes you happy. Be in charge of your own time, don't let someone else, even Mark, dictate what you do. If you feel the need to get out and move more, by all means, do so in a way that pleases you. Maybe you are already getting enough exercise through your work. Soak in a hot tub or your bathtub, and do not feel guilty about doing so.

    Look at the dog. If the dog is causing more stress in your life and you don't have time to care for it, by all means find it a home where the people have the time and the dog will be happy. Don't beat yourself up for it - you learned something about yourself and you won't make the same mistake again.

    Diet and diabetes. Do what you can for both. Yes, the diabetes is a bummer and not one easily changed. But own it, make it yours and learn to be happy despite it. Yes, counseling for this, and all the other issues may be in order.

    I am a teacher, and I homeschool my kids. One thing I have found with all curricula that I have used, is that I need to modify them to fit the needs of my kids (in the home or the school.) Primal is a guide, feel free to modify it and do what really works for you. If you are not happy, it may be a part of your life you need to modify so that you can take back control. Feel free to revisit it though. With my kids I have found that some things don't work well at one stage, but do work much better later on after we have mastered other things. The same could be true for you as well.

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