Serious help for binging!?! page 2

[relaygirl]

Jack Kruse's website addresses leptin. But he has a different technique involving a lot of protein but he explains leptin resistance very well. I follow a paleo bulletproof plan-- The Bulletproof Executive I mostly just use his coffee recipe-which helps you get through the IF without even being hungry. So freeing. He has a lot of rules on foods--I mostly just stick to paleo though during my eating hours.

I cannot even begin to express in this little box the depth of my addiction to food. It was so deep. It was an "acceptable" drug of choice-I was able to take care of my family, function socially with no issues except being fat. If I was addicted to pills, I would be in bed all day. Or alcohol. The demands of being a mom, dealing with a crappy marriage, an abusive mother, etc. etc. etc. led to a lifetime of overeating. Losing a little on weight watchers and then gaining it back and over and over different diet, different year. I was always active walking/jogging-but always eating in secret. For me, it was all about food--mostly ice cream and I am a kick ass baker. I would go to the garage freezer and just stand there with a spoon in the ice cream container-I could go through a carton a night and no one would know. This deathly cycle just burned out the dopamine receptors in my brain and left me leptin resistant. (there is a blood test, I think but I did not need it--I KNEW).

I began to lose weight eating protein shakes and using bars-5 times a day. Using some medifast, some isopure, some pure protein bars. Then eating a healthy dinner. I lost a lot of weight doing this. At first I was so motivated by losing I stuck to it a long time. But I found as I got very active running I just could not sustain myself and I was always walking a fine line with over eating and fueling my run. I needed to eat more, but I would eventually give in to more with ice cream. I was a normal weight eventually but it was still such a painful struggle-every day. I would still binge about every 15 days. Sometimes shorter.

Then I switched over to paleo knowing I needed real food. I did a whole 30--I felt a massive relief from not having dairy. Wow, it was huge. I was pretty low carb before but I still had a bit of carb haze-this cleared too. I love that feeling of knowing my body is not under a sugar spell. I was able to run and eat. I still had the damn binge urge though! I was eating a clean diet-breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lots of organic veggies, no fruit, tons of meat and fish. But I still wanted the ice cream. After a few months, I would make my own "paleo" ice cream with coconut milk, etc--but it would just spur me on to bingeing on paleo foods-not a good thing with such calorie dense food. I though I was just destined to live my life like that.

I tried IF during this time too-and I would lose the urge a lot of the time but I was constantly thinking about food. It was obsessive and it made me crazier than normal So I went back to just paleo. It was running that kept me at a normal weight still but every hour was a struggle. Even with ribeyes.

So then Misty Humphrey on facebook posted something about the bulletproof coffee and I know some people here use it-so I checked it out. I made one with coconut oil and grass fed butter, stevia and cinnamon blended in my vita mix (it has to be blended in a blender). I buy my own coffee-organic, shade grown, light roast costa rican. The level of satiety was amazing--like a new drug but the right one that was keeping my hormones in line. The relief for me is amazing. It is not for everyone-some people cannot tolerate the fat or the IF. I can (I don't have a gall bladder even!) because I believe it is what my body needed.

My husband does not do this. He does not exercise but he eats primal and he lost 75 lbs. But he was lightly addicted to carbs-like a bag of chips or cookies at night in front of the TV. As soon as he starting eating ribeyes and veggies he was completely satisfied. He is 6'2" and 200.

[divadevilsmom]

Thank you all so much for your input. I will certainly look more into the leptin issue. I've been given a lot to take into consideration and I think most importantly the support of knowing someone is there to discuss the issues with. I suppose something I should think of is starting a journal and becoming accountable for what I eat.

We had dinner: London broil, braised leeks with bacon, and a salad w/ romaine, cucumber, tomatoes, black olives, and a dash of sunflower seeds. I was full. But I swear that right now this very second I am thinking about food. I will not eat anything before bed. I will make that promise now. But it doesn't change the fact that even though I ate until content, now 3 hours later I am obsessing about food and that is just unacceptable.

Big thanks again everyone.

[Dr. Bork Bork]

When you no longer view an item as a cheat, it no longer seems as desirable and forbidden. Helped with my binge issue a lot.

[BestBetter]

Here is a link to a thread on binging and restricting that has a lot of responses you might find helpful:

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread59619.html

And here is one of my posts from that thread (sorry for the cut-n-paste, but it's a long response!)


As a lifelong secret binge-eater, what i found most helpful was to:

1) change my internal commentary loop. 2) Stop using blame and shame with anything that had to do with food.

I could easily get fixated on a certain food - say, an entire container of frosting - and wouldn't be able to stop obsessing over it until I had consumed so much (usually the whole container) that I was sick and wanting to throw up. Then I'd compensate for this by eating turkey breast and lettuce for a couple of days to 'pay my penance'. For this reason, I never left the range of 120-125lbs, so no one would ever suspect there was ever anything weird going on with me and food.

To change my internal commentary loop, I had to reprogram my brain. For me, this was something like:

See Entenmann's cake in supermarket. Start obsessing over eating the whole thing. Brain goes on loop, saying, 'that looks really good. It will taste so amazing, and you can eat as much as you want, no one will know, c'mon, it will feel so good to be eating that, you can make up for it later, you really want it...' and repeat, even after I've left the store without buying it and have gone home. The loop keeps repeating until I HAVE to go back out and buy the damn cake, because I can't think about anything else all night, or the next day, until I gorge on that cake and get sick. Once the loop starts, it's all over.

However, if I could start a brand-new loop before my autopilot one kicked in, I'd be okay. This was really difficult at first, and what I'd do would be to walk down the desert isle repeating something short and easy like 'this stuff is gross.' or 'this will make me vomit'. In the beginning, i'd only let myself walk down these isle if i was with my husband, or someone I knew, so that I wouldn't actually be tempted to buy anything. After practicing this MANY times, it was then possible for me to switch to this new loop when I felt the old one startiing to kick in.

The shame/blame thing I found to be critical in perpetuating bingeing. If I did have a 'relapse', feeling guilty and using my food choices to attack my personal character was a guarantee that I'd be bingeing again, because it was an instant, fleeting way to momentarily feel better. For me, it was CRITICAL to focus my comments on the physical effects of my actions and why I shouldn't do it again. So instead of bingeing and then wallowing in shame, guilt, despair and thinking of myself as a horribly weak person, I'd instead think things like, 'I thought that would make me feel better, but it didn't. In fact, I feel sick to my stomache, and this is the feeling I want to remember the next time I'm tempted to binge again.'

Also, I found it helpful to change patterns that led to bingeing behavior. For example, I had certain stores or places where I could get really sinfully tasty unhealthy food. Just walking down a certain street or driving a certain route would be enough to trigger my autopilot into going through that loop that convinced me I needed to eat an entire dozen doughnuts before I even saw the place that sold the doughnuts. Just doing little things like taking a different route was enough to help prevent that anticipation of the stimulus from triggering my loop that would lead me to buying those doughnuts that I didn't even want to begin with. Same thing with evening snacking - this was problematic for me, so I made sure i had a very satiating protein heavy dinner. Once I was done eating, when the urge to snack popped up, I'd say, 'I'd usually want a snack right now, but today I don't. in fact, instead of watching tv in the living room like I usually do, I think I'll go read in the park, or my bedroom.' The specifics aren't important, but breaking the routine that leads to the pattern you want to break is.

Also, certain foods are an instant binge trigger for me. i CAN NOT eat them in moderation, and I find it easier to avoid them altogether than to have a small amount, because as soon as I have a bite, my mind begins that damn loop that won't let go until I eat the whole package. For these few remaining items that are problematic (dried fruit!) I stay away, but I have to be careful with my internal commentary so that I don't turn it into something forbidden that heightens my desire for it. So, for example, I never say, 'I can't have that.' Instead I'll say, 'Yeah, I bet that would taste good, but I know that if I start eating those figs, I'll end up eating the whole package and I'll feel really sick, so I'd rather not.' Then I spend some time remembering the last time I binged on figs, and how sick I felt afterward - I let that be the thought I focus on, not the desire part.

[Bron]

I tend to graze like that if I eat too many carbs. If I up the meat, and reduce the carbs, the 'need' to continually eat goes.

[VacillateWildly]

Another great post on the pain and remorse surrounding binge eating. I'm doing ok at the moment by sticking to 3 meals a day and no sugar in any form, including fresh fruit. I'm picking myself up after a month of binging and restricting and self-loathing.

I don't have any answers, I wish I did. There are lots of ideas on this forum and on the previous thread mentioned. That 'dump cake'. I've never heard of it, but now I can't get it out of my head!

I need to stop myself eating compulsively as well, even picking at leftover vegetables. I try to fill my plate using my eye to judge how much I need, if I go back for seconds I press the 'fuck it' button and the night ends in a binge.

[lorichka6]

I think there are different kinds of bingers out there and only you truly know if you have a binge eating disorder or are just struggling with suddenly having trouble dealing with suddenly having foods you like on the "do not eat list". One of the books that has been mentioned in MDA before is called Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen. She was a bulimic and documented her "cure". Her cure was based on Rational Recovery (for alcoholics) by Jack Trimpey. I HIGHLY recommend these books. I'd read BOB first since it is specifically about eating - it gave me a tremendous amount of hope as well as my story mirrored hers nearly exactly.

[FlyingPig]

Now I finally found what works for me. I intermittant fast every day from 8:30 at night to noon. I do have 2 bulletproof coffees in that time. Then I end up eating a couple of good, whole, paleo meals during the eating phase. I feel fantastic and I never have that drive anymore to over consume. I also used to start my day with a hearty paleo breakfast and then I would think to myself how could I possibly still be hungry and driven to binge after eating breakfast and a good lunch.

By concentrating on lots of fat I lost all my urge to binge. I have tons of grass fed butter and CO everyday. I mix it in the coffee-I have about 1000 calories of fat a day. It is crazy. I actually leaned out even more which I did not think I could do.

This is exactly what worked for me too. The more I read about it the more I think people with binging tendencies or messed up metabolisms need to go through a high fat, low carb phase. I went cold turkey and didn't eat any fruit either. Now I am at the point where I am reintroducing fruit and upping my carbs again as my body is "healed" (I think). Cookies? Pizza? Doesn't appeal to me at all any more, I don't even consider them food any more but things trying to make me addicted to sugar again.

[divadevilsmom]

WOW this group of people is wonderful! All the support and advice with no negativity! I appreciate it all so much. I didn't realize there were so many others here who had similar problems.

So, I did not eat anything last night after posting. I went to bed at 10:30. Got up this morning at 6:30 and am having some bulletproof coffee as I type. Getting ready to get dressed and head off to the gym to get some movement going.

Dexy I am so sorry for mentioning the dump cake. It isn't worth it, I promise. It was gritty and grainy because the dry cake mix did soak in the way it was supposed to. Several times it was reminiscent of getting dirt or sand particles in the mouth, if that makes you feel better?

[ashley.thepie.rat]

When you no longer view an item as a cheat, it no longer seems as desirable and forbidden. Helped with my binge issue a lot.

exactly!