Help getting started
I'm having a pretty rough time over here and would love some advice, or support, or something. I got the book from the library, read it cover to cover, and re-read certain parts - loved it, and it clicked. It made sense. It just sounded like the right thing to do.
But there's a few bumps in my road. Maybe I just need some support - my family won't give it, they think I'm neurotic and overly-worried. But here:
Five months ago I quit smoking. I'm 24, and smoked a pack a day since I was nearly 16. The day after college commencement, I put them behind. I'm so glad to be rid of the feckin things. But it hasn't been easy. My relationship with food has gone absolutely haywire as a result. I've put on about 8 lbs already, I'm cyclically craving sugar, and it's scaring the hell out of me. I have a history of bad food relationships - the whole reason I started smoking to begin with was to lose weight, I struggled with anorexia as a teen. My self-image is awful, but for the past few years I've realized it's not a food problem, it's a me problem, and so me and food have been ok. Until now.
This weight gain, and new, insatiable, awful, bottomless appetite/craving/madness is starting to cause old issues to resurface. The problem is that while before I would just stop eating for days on end, now I cannot stop.
I know that going primal/paleo would help with this. I know it would help put those cravings at bay. I just want to be able to spend my weeks NOT obsessing about food - because that is what it has quickly fallen into, each day my first thoughts upon waking up have become "food food food, what will I eat, what will I avoid" along with awful feelings of guilt when I eat something I feel I shouldn't have, etcetera. It's madness! Life is so short, and there are so many better things to focus on and worry about. I can't take it anymore!
I feel like going primal will help. But here's the other problem: each time I have tried to switch over (ie. attempted to do a Whole30 sort of thing) I am plagued by an incapacitating carb/sugar flu. It scares the daylights out of me. Unfortunately, I'm currently in a high-stress situation with my four jobs, and the insane hours that I've been working, and student loan bills are coming up, and I can't afford (nor will my bosses allow me) time off work, but I'm nearly unable to function when that flu is happening. It feels almost like my brain will bleed out my nose or that I will pass out at any moment.
I just am not sure what to do. I don't want to obsess over food anymore. I don't want to put on any more weight. I'm not overweight, I never have been, but if I keep going at the rate I am going, I certainly will be. I want to be able to eat intuitively, naturally, without worrying about what I'm doing, without having uncontrollable cravings. I want to be able to enjoy life and focus on other things, not this =[
Aye. I'm sorry if this is basically a big whiny rant. I just don't have anywhere else to turn, nobody to talk to about it. I have no primal friends, and everyone thinks I'm crazy!