Am I a jerk or is the GF crazy? page 6

[kenn]

I agree - we do tend to hear that an abnormal amount of time.

I suggest dating other people then

[Primal123]

Here's the problem as I see it. We women like to discuss things and don't necessarily need a "fix it" response other than perhaps something along the lines of . "Wow sardines? Do you feel like you have more energy?" Or even "Sardines, wow I bet that will help."

Many women do not want their guy to try to solve their problems. We just like to discuss it. We will ask for feedback as needed. Of course this is not true for all women but a lot of women tell me they just want to discuss, vent, complain etc... and bf/husband/guy sitting next to them on the bus wants to offer a suggestion on making said problem better. And it makes them frustrated, not heard, and like they are broken.

Your girlfriend sounds like she thinks you think she is broken.

Oh and I think texting other than basic need to know information is just a disaster waiting to happen. Pick up the phone and dial it and have a conversation. But I am of an age that my father's family was the first family in their neighborhood to own a phone in their house so texting is not my go to for communication.

And so much for communication I missed like 5 pages of responses I was so quick to jump up to respond to your post. Off to go read in my embarrassed silence.

[Wanderlust]

Women are crazy, enough said.

[TheFastCat]

Just a follow up:

She came over last night and we talk about it.
She wasn't offended by my unsolicited attempt to try and fix the situation, but took complete offense to the fact that I implied she might have high cortisol.
Apparently in her mind the first thing that pops up is that people with high cortisol are fat, lazy and eat poorly.
That's completely different than my interpretation: stressed people who work hard who are busy.
But I didn't push that; I did tell her I hated texting and that it never would have happened otherwise -- she agreed.
The trouble is I don't get to see her all the time (and I want to) so when she reaches out to me via text I enjoy the contact and hearing from her (when I'm at work, going to bed, etc).

Anyway I sunk my claws into her and squeezed her all night; so it's all good now and I learned from it.

[canio6]

Apparently in her mind the first thing that pops up is that people with high cortisol are fat, lazy and eat poorly.

So is she fat or lazy? Does she eat poorly?

given this:

She is super healthy, active, the strongest girl in my crossfit gym - gluten free and 80%+ Paleo, terrific, healthy cook.

I would guess not.

So she just has really low self-esteem? A persecution complex? She thinks you think these things about her so apparently thinks all the praise you shower her with is bullshit? In other words, yeah, still crazy.

[TheFastCat]

So is she fat or lazy? Does she eat poorly?

given this: I would guess not.

So she just has really low self-esteem? A persecution complex? She thinks you think these things about her so apparently thinks all the praise you shower her with is bullshit? In other words, yeah, still crazy.

Yeah it's disconcerting that she took the opportunity to be offended by an innocuous remark when I've gone out of my way to heap praise and affection on her. Kind of invalidates her perception of me right? I mean I might as well act like a dick of she perceives me as one when given the chance regardless of what else I do. Additionally as an INTJ it's painful that someone's misinterpretation (wrong) definition of "high cortisol" ends up getting me in trouble and causing hurt feelings. That's why ignorance sucks, right?


An ironic thing is that from time to time when she is feeling spicy she will playfully criticize me -- the socks I am wearing with my running shoes, the way my finger nails make me look like an auto mechanic - etc. I called her out on the double standard and she said the it's unfair to do it with things people are sensitive about. Sometimes you just gotta shake your head and grin.

she's a great lady and I find her girl-craziness endearing.

[Chaohinon]

I dunno, too many different directions you could go with this one. Her response is mild enough that I don't think you should assume the worst; maybe just tell her you're sorry and didn't realize how your question would come off.

At the same time, I'm always very hesitant to apologize for something I feel wasn't wrong, because a lot of women see that as a trait to be taken advantage of. But if she's as stressed as she says she is, maybe you just need to tread a little lightly.

If this is a constant thing, though, then definitely run for the hills.

[NZ primal Gwamma]

and let us not forget that this window that we have been privvy to, in your daily relationship - is extremely small. Water may have already passed under the bridge this morning, or over it, maybe through it ??????
Pick some daisies, kiss her on the lips (unless she has keto breath), and tell her you love her !!!!!!
if this doesn't work - both of you grab a bow-n-arrow ....and take it outside !!!!!!!

Thank goodness, the water has flowed under the bridge and on out to the ocean.
Thrilled that you didn't waste a bow !!!!!!!

[carlh]

You need more emoticons.

Instead of: "I wonder if your cortisol is too high, you fat fuck."

try this: "I wonder if your cortisol is too high, you fat fuck "

[Ferti]

You need more emoticons.

Instead of: "I wonder if your cortisol is too high, you fat fuck."

try this: "I wonder if your cortisol is too high, you fat fuck "

so funny