Am I a jerk or is the GF crazy? page 3

[zoebird]

true, life exists without cellphones.

since we only have this as our line (there's a business line as well and they're connected), it's good for us to have. that being said, we rarely use the darn thing. it's mostly to call each other.

[ciavyn]

I'm mad stressed lately, and I know I've been difficult to deal with. So that is probably related. But you know, you can tell her you don't want to text. I have another friend with this issue. Texting and communicating via email (or even message boards) can be dangerous, especially in relationships where both are not blase about it. So perhaps stop the texting, ask her how she wants you to respond in situations like that, and do that.

I am the fixer in my relationship (girl, fix; boy, emote) and I've had to learn to say, "It's going to be okay," and let him vent. That is all he wants.

We are complicated creatures.

[Uncephalized]

Knifegill, that picture was eerily accurate and way too awesome.

[Daemonized]

I can't believe that this thread has gone this far and nobody has suggested that perhaps you're a jerk with a crazy girlfriend purely for comedic value. Fine, I'll be the jerk that says it then.

[Louisa655]

Suggestions for your consideration:

I hate text messaging. All it does is cause misunderstanding and *inhibit* communication. Also I suck at it. Unfortunately everyone my age loves it and so I am forced to cooperate.

TFC's Squeeze:"Hey TFC know how I talked about having poor post workout recovery? Well for lunch I am eating sardines (fish oil) with spinach and
avocado "

TFC: "Amazing! Do you think cortisol could be a factor? I'm sending you a care package [of zinc, magnesium, anti cortisol supplements] from Amazon.com"
TFC SUGGESTED RESPONSE: Amazing! Great planning for your post-workout recovery!

(she's been under a lot of pressure/stress lately with work, friends and a 100 mile relay race she is running this weekend)

TFC's Squeeze:""Thanks for suggesting I have high cortisol :-/" (She is getting defensive here but she is tired, under stress and she knows it. She doesn't need or want anyone else to lobby that ball at her.

TFC: "It was a question goof /bonk!" :P Be support here and show her that you are a good listener.

TFC's Squeeze:""You're right I'm too stressed and suffer a multitude of physical sumptoms as a consequence. All of which are unattractive and debilitating in some way.
Yes I likely have high cortisol. Thank you for pointing it out. Assumptions can be made from that question that hurt my feelings." You lost the battle here.

TFC: Maintains radio silence so as not to break something again;. scratches mane and wonders what the cure for estrogen is.
Silence is often misinterpreted for being ignored.

Since when is suggesting someone is stressed an insult?
How do I respond? Clearly I have no idea what I am doing.
And yes it's pathetic asking for help from the internet.

Just be a good listener for her and try not to solve her problems. She wants to be heard and validated.

I'll stop rambling now. Good luck and keep the texts, light, supportive and non-problem solving'ish. /louisa

[zoebird]

man, all caps still reads as 'yelling' to me.

[TheFastCat]

man, all caps still reads as 'yelling' to me.

I think I kind of needed a yelling-at in order to drive the point home so I'm glad she did...

[naiadknight]

Quite frankly? My answer would be to call her with "I fucked up. How do I fix it?" But, I'm very open about that sort of thing, so YMMV.
Outside of that: yes, it's possible hormones have her low and wanting praise. If that's the case, you delivered the hormonal maniac's equivalent of Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown and then kicking him in the nuts.
It's also possible she wanted to hear she was doing good and got "slapped down" with "Yes, but no. Now fix this."
It's also possible that there was no right answer except "Good lunch."
I think (again, I tend to think more like a guy than a chick) she had a batshit crazy moment and you happened to catch the fallout. Give her time and play it calm. Chances are, she'll calm down, realize she made a nut of herself, and it'll pass without incident.

[TheFastCat]

I responded with

"I should have responded to what a drool-worthy cook you are instead of providing unsolicited "help". I realize why I hurt your feelings now. I am sorry I did."

It's hard to text with razor sharp claws.

[naiadknight]

I responded with

"I should have responded to what a drool-worthy cook you are instead of providing unsolicited "help". I realize why I hurt your feelings now. I am sorry I did."

It's hard to text with razor sharp claws.

Should work. *Crosses fingers*