I have full respect and admiration for CrossFitters, but it's not really something that I'm into or can afford. I'm more interested in the "functional" components/results borne out of good fitness, like the ability to dance well or rock-climb or hike or engage a good game of Ultimate Frisbee (without embarrassing myself) for hours on end, should situations call for that. My question is: if I'm looking more to develop lean muscles and tone rather than lots of muscle mass, how should I go about doing that?

For example, you see in some of the Success Stories, that some women end up "leaning out" (and not really looking athletic or super muscular), but are still toned, like Jessica: I Wish I Could Shout It from the Rooftops! | Mark's Daily Apple

CrossFit and lifting weights works wonders with some women, but I'm not really interested in it. It's not that I want to shrivel up and become skinny, either. Any suggestions? In the case of wanting mainly to get lean and toned, is it more a matter of eating Primally rather than exercise? Or?