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  1. #81
    Comma's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    RUN to the library to get 'Deep Meditation' by uh, well, like, Yogani? Strange name, like porn name only for meditation. Anyway, book is fantastic and meditation works. Thumbs up from Gadget girl.

  2. #82
    Comma's Avatar
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    Meditation is fantastic, feels exactly like taking Niquil without grogginess. Meditated yesterday and slept like baby (but was also really tired and expected to sleep anyway), and today. Had trouble focusing eyesight afterwards- fun, fun!

    Had huge primal breakfast of Pumpkin pie-pork (yes, smashing), took family walk, and had nothing for lunch. Later snacked around on veggie chips and even 1 piece of kid-pinata candy, so am clearly not ready for IF even when not hungry. Will have sushi for dinner. Not great. Am slipping and sliding, it appears. Also stomach still has weird low-level burny feel to it.

    Must start cutting out all sugar and counting calories (but how? with all slow cooker goodness...) as appear slightly fat in the belly area. Not overly but not as trim as before.

  3. #83
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    So I went to the doctor today and he thinks I have GERD, possibly gall issues. He said to cut down on the fat a bit (saying first that meat and fat is fine per se), and I think he must be right. I switched from eating beef to pork and it seems much fattier. The lots of cream do not help for sure. So back to beef and no cream- and easy on the Earl Grey, I think having a large cup at the coffee place every day last week on top of continual tea drinking at home didn't help. Had a spoon of apple cide vinegar and was much better.

  4. #84
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    Had sausage pattie for breakfast, with water. Also boiled egg, but do not want. Stomach feels fine. Meditation goes well, and I'm pretty sure is responsible for me sleeping REALLY WELL for THREE days in a row, but do feel slightly irritable with kids for constantly demanding my attention on every level. Sais that might be a side effect of meditation but will read book again to make sure it'll go away because is not nice.

    Also have lost waterweight (relief--thought it was all the cream) of almost 2.5 lbs. Am not as bloated anymore, but will work on calorie restriction a bit as could def trim down in the belly-thigh area. Yes.

  5. #85
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    All right, so have concluded that 2 times 20 min a day is too much for feeble beginner's system and must cut down on meditation. Will try 15 min and see if anger goes away.

    Just had huge amount of nuts and cheese and bit of sherry. No problems. Damn you, heavy cream, for being so incredibly yummy and not agreeing with my gall bladder! Argh! (yes yes, must work on anger issues.)

  6. #86
    Comma's Avatar
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    Hm. 15 min in the morning still too much. Am angry and depressed and mad at poor sweet kids who don't know what the bloody hell happened with mummy. All I want is take long quiet walks with DH or be by myself. Do not eat primal; in fact just had cereal bar and only didn't eat both Burger King and Snickers because didn't have wallet with me. Stomach hurts as am not eating right and can't find stupid directions for stupid meds. Am having glass of sherry at 2:30 so I can face waiting an hour through pointless ballet session. Oh no. Is all coming down. To the blackest pits of hell with meditation.

    Total breakdown.

  7. #87
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    Oh Comma, I have loved reading along with you, but you seem in a bad place at the moment. Be kind to yourself. Have you tried EFT? I think you should give it a go. Clearing Fear and Worry - Tapping with Brad Yates - YouTube

  8. #88
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    Thank you Sigzephyr, I will watch that.

    Yes, that was the WORST place yesterday afternoon...then had an angry crying spell while vacuum cleaning and then got better again. I even meditated (is slightly addictive) 10 min just before going to bed. So am breaking all Meditation rules as stated by Yogani. This morning feel fine and am serene with squabbeling children.

    Meditating before bed is answer to all questions! Will continue doing, as gives mind much time to work on issues of the unconscious dug up by meditation. Yes. Also distinct possibility that is not meditation at all and am just angry about parents announcing they'll come for a month to stay and have not got guestroom and just had unpleasant guests and do not want any more, especially not FOR A MONTH, as am really quite fond of quiet and peace and personal space. Why can't they go to Aruba? Why? Why?

  9. #89
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    Am doing well! Meditated before bed again and slept like baby, then woke up at 6:30 and jumped happily out of bed. Thought I was supposed to volunteer in preschool but is actually next week, so WENT TO COFFFE PLACE and reworked entire story line (was useless, actually, and am not in love with Alien anymore; au contraire, he gets killed now for being on the wrong side. Haha! Much better.) and THEN TOOK WALK all by myself. Was delicious. Then picked up kids and let them dig around on playground, ripping out maple seedlings and planting them somwhere else, then supermarket, then lunch.

    Am now stealing minutes on the computer, but must stop before they see me, as have decided I do not want to constantly hang around electronis when they are here, as sets bad example for budding teenagers. Yes. Back to the roots. Ugh, though. Is boring. Hm. Will dig out coal pencils and take up drawing and they can draw with me. See? Much better.

  10. #90
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    Tried Brad Yates tapping, and is very strange but feel nice afterwards. Ergh, I just tap along and listen to what he says, yes? And if the tapping isn't really necessary somebody will let me know asap (right, sigzephyr)? But is nice to hear somebody in a Papa-sweater tell me it's all fine and no reason to panic and mustn't mind people. Even or ESPECIALLY if people turn out to be critical mom waiting in long line for single bathroom in decrepit house of monetarily ungifted daughter. Hm. Is not my fault area is so expensive. No.

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