Sushi was very good (SushEZ- best device ever on Amazon), but I had a cup of PrinceofPeace Ginseng tea with dinner, which kept me up till midnight, and now I'm...not in a good mood. Must have more yummy Ginseng tea to keep awake. Honestly, sleep is the single most important part of paleo, sigh.
Also, the bunny is looming. Very scary, especially as emotionally loaded and neither kids nor husband can know or they will eat MAc and Cheese instead.
On the good side: Farmer's Market at last! Got liver (HA!), marrow bones, ground beef and chuck roast, as well as a bunch of veggies. So now have to buy some chicken breasts, eggs, and dairy once we run out. Nice.
The hunger is gone! No doubt the sushi rice took care of any carb cravings I might have had. But that's fine. I don't want to be anywhere NEAR ketosis. Actually to be deep IN ketosis would be fine, but to teeter on its depressive edge is not for me, and I'm too weak to get and/or stay in ketosis. And anyway, doesn't matter. Must put energies into rabbit prep.
Also must put energy into deciding whether or not to buy 50Shades of Grey. I hear it's juicy (v.good) but really poorly written (v.bad). Hm. Hmmmm.
Right, the basic plan is to heat the rabbit at 350 for 45 min, after having rubbed it with rosemary, olive oil, cumin, lemon, and sp. Doesn't sound appealing but I will have done it and it will not haunt my fridge any longer. Yes.
I just had some fruit and a big bowl of greek yogurt, fullfat no less, with lots of sunflower seeds and honey. Fruit and Dairy must go! They add too many calories and I am BLOATED and FARTY: yuck yuck yuck.
In better news, when I am not bloated I actually look quite nice these days, if a leeeettle swimringi around the middle. Paleo rocks! I now had TWO (yes!) people tell me I look like a Bond-girl in my Bikini. So must get rid of bloat in order to be perpetually Bond-y, with only problems being said swimring and admittetly ugly vitiligo on hands. But after all there is self tanner and could be worse. It is only cosmetic and no reason for hissi-fit. No. Hm.
Oh my God, that bunny was disgusting. The taste was okay- the kids who didn't know what it was and probably didn't care as aren't filthy hypocrits like their parents- ate a bunch, but dh and I were just staring at the matter and ended up tossing it. Then I tried to make bone broth, but ended up tossing that as well. Brrrr.
So. Bad mood advancing fast and furious, and have started using my progesteron-happy-cream that helped much last month. Must hope mood will improve and will not end up a crying mess. Also will not impose further diet restrictions just now, as can be lucky if I don't cave in to grains at the moment. Breakfast of sunflower seeds and cheese the best I could manage today....
Mood has improved after Happycream, hours of cleaning aka low level excercise and lots of Muse (not to mention steering clear of DH who himself is out of sorts because he always DOES that). All right then, all is well. Even avoided snacking! WOHOO! Had steak and raw veggies for lunch, apple for desert, and will have liver with onions for dinner while the other people will eat pizza. (Gadget girl here: if you haven't yet got the cast-iron pizza stone from Lodge Logics you are sadly behind). Honestly, I never thought I'd give up the pizza. But today: no problem! Don't even care. Two rubber stars for me.
So, today. Not good, not good. I think I didn't get enough calories yesterday, which means I cannot sleep at night. Broke down at 2 am and had yogurt with oat granola (soggy, not worth it) and honey and lots of cheese and sunflower seeds. Then asleep around 3, and up at 7. Not sleeping enough foretells overeating in my life, and unfortunatly I had to go shopping, and DH wanted Ice cream, and I got some, and then the kids wanted to eat some, and. then. I. had.three.scoops. DAMN IT! Also had lots more cheese. See? Dairy kills me.
In better news, breakfast was eggs and nitrate-free bacon, lunch was liver with onions, and I made paleo chocolate chili and mashed cauliflower for dinner. (the farm meat, btw, spilled blood so I HAD TO CLEAN THE ENTIRE FRIDGE at 8 am) Feel the urgent need to drink lots of alcohol now. I will have 1 small glass of red wine and then APPLY MY HAPPY CREAM, which I keep forgetting, and no wonder. Must get sleep right or nothing works.
Not sure there is anything I wanted and didn't have today. I kind of wanted an apple, but didn't have. But not really wanted very much, so probably shouldn't count. Feel like I should count a forth scoop of icecream, but won't because it seems both amoral and unethical to count that as a plus in today's dietary life.
Have had a hectic couple days here and not much sleep- but HOORAY! I think fat burning has kicked in. Suddenly I really REALLY don't care what I eat or even when I eat. Yesterday I had an egg sometime around 10, then nothing till dinner. Got me a huge plate of chicken and rice, thinking I needed to catch up on calories, but left plenty on my plate. I mean, I don't leave anything on my plate, ever.
Today I had a couple of eggs for breakfast, then took the kids to the outlet mall to get some walking in- didn't need food until 2, when I suddenly got a bit shirky with the kids. So we went home and I had a couple slices of apple, a smallhandful of sunflower seeds and banana chips, and a slice of Kerrygold butter in my Chai tea. Usually I wouldn't be able to stop this sort of snacking, but my new and improved self is fine. Done and done. Incredible, isn't it? (I'm telling you girls: use some happy cream if you are anywhere close to middle age and have low-progesterone symptoms...makes all the difference.)
Dinner in the slow cooker: grassfed beef, heartlessly 'prepared' with a jar of (fairly paleo) pizza sauce and a handful of olives tossed in....will put in cheese to bake over it and sell it as pizza goulash or something...
I have to take it all back. Had a pig out yesterday night, but was more emotional than anything else. Dumb hormones. Taking it all back about happy cream too, is bloody useless. Pun intended.
Today I had breakfast around 11, bacon and 1/2 an egg and corn on the cobb with lots of butter. Then at 4"30 I had uh, like 3 handfuls of bananachips (must get them out of the house, they are killing me), the rest of the salami in the fridge (not much), and a blueberry Ale we schlepped down from Maine, and a slice of apple. Not great, then. Am slipping. Must eat paleo dinner and nothing after io to maintain right to post here and not be banned in middle of night.
In other news I have a stiff neck which hurts. The baby lost all his pacifiers (3) at once in the mall - I think he put them into the open shoe boxes at payless shoe source. So now he has a bit trouble falling asleep as I'm not buying new ones in manner of excellent excuse to get rid of these things.
To rake up some tattered shreds of good news: I think my vitiligo is getting better with paleo, the sun and the supplements. I have one spot on my hip that doesn't get much sun or topical treatment as is always covered by (at least) bikini pants, and it has totally repigmented. I've had it for years, it's been my nothing-happens-control for ever. It's not as tan as rest of (untanned) skin, but def fully repigmented. Spots on arms, elbow and knee and chest have started to repigment. Hands and feet are always hard, but my right hand gained a couple new freckles. I think face too. So hooray! Sun, pepper oil, Gingko, Milk thistle, Biotin, grass-fed meat. I'll keep doing it. (As I said, will just finish ale, then eat paleo dinner.)
Ok, you know what? Dairy is out. Just saw messages somewhere in the mid-thousands on the leptin thread saying to avoid dairy to heal gut which is to do with vitiligo. I eat way too much. My eyes are always itchy. I get new pollen allergies all the time. My dust allergy is acting up like nothing good. Yesterday I had a cup of milk and my stomach was so distended it hurt. I. Will. Cut. Dairy. Out.
Should also lose masses of weight as practically live of the stuff! Yey!
Only question is: what to eat then? And what about butter? I need some easy-yummy source of fat and think I might be allergic to CO.
Butter and a splash of halfandhalf in the coffee stayed, but I ignored the YUMMY full-fat ricotta and greek yogurt calling out to me from the fridge...hu. I did definitely deflate though, which is nice.
Have been fairly good with the eating too. Just bought and tried Bubba's sauerkraut. It's good! I never liked kraut, but this is good. Then I found a recipe on how to pickle stuff, and now I can't wait to try this myself. Pickled mushrooms are a favorite in this house, so I have to try some of them, and kraut, and dill cukes, and onions, and carrots...mmmh.
My daily bad news is that I bought bacon at the farmer's market for 9$ a lb, and it has NITRIT in it. Grrr. I can get cheaper nitrate and trit free bacon at the supermarket.