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  1. #101
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    Parents left for a week to return in a week. Wished Thanksgiving would go rot in hell.

  2. #102
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    Ecstatic morning in guest-free, own home. So very very nice. But stress eating has caused rolls of fat. Am busting upper weight limit and do not fit into favorite paper denim cloth jeans anymore.

    Despite stress very proud that yesterday after baby's bday party was over and guests and parents had left I did get back on waggon by dining on canned fish, avocado and coconut oil. Is amazing how it fills you, unlike stupid carton board cheese pizza, whihc, by the way, made me break out in hives around in the mouth. Gluten sensitivity is getting worse, now with hives and instant headaches.

  3. #103
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    Ahahahaha, am DEFYING parents and have written first draft of new picture book. Will work on short story when kids are in preK and then on new draft when kid has ballet and other kid hopefully wants to watch TV instead of going to playground.

    Also is DH bday today but was too weak to remember till last night and he doesnt' want to be bothered either. Also couldn't think of present and won't have time to cook nice dinner. But have bargained and he will accept tickets to short story reading at theater in lieu, and bring nice dinner home himself. Love my lovely knight in shining armour and now only have to make him forget my own birthday. Yes. Is obviously silly to celebrate given that we couldn't even figure out own ages last night and had to count on fingers and is only stressful pretense of happiness when really all wanted is a pac of ciggies and a swig of whisky. Of course am smoking only when MIL is in town, but still.

  4. #104
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    So. Have renewed love affair with primal foods and splurged at the supermarket on steak, chicken, avocadoes, sunflower seeds, pomegranates, salad, broccoli, sweet potatoes, apples, red and green cabbage, salmon, chia seeds, eggs, blueberries, cream, cheese, butter, kale, dandelion, and so on. Now must contain self as I want to eat ALL AT ONCE. I want kale smoothies and steak and salmon with broccoli and butter and sweet potato fries and a ton of eggs and huge chunks of butter and chia pudding and IT IS ALL SO YUMMY! I also still have a huge pot of my own kefir, a gigantic jar of Sauerkraut that's ready to eat, and my very own Kombucha should be done soon, too. Haha. AHAHAHAHAHA! Will TOSS OUT all crappy foods that I have bought for guests and own kids and RID myself of them. Is high time to saddle the primal horse and gallop into the sunset on it. Giddiup! Off we go.

    Oh. Time to pick up kid. Also should get firewood today, even though wood stove is not installed yet. But SOON and will be fantastic.

  5. #105
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    Aaaaall right, where were we?

    Ah yes. Well, parents returned and was actually all very well, besides of having absolutley no time for self and sliding sliding sliding down to a piece of Entenman coffee cake which put me in throws of agony, stomach-ache-wise. Then Parents left and now have to return to shambles of own life, remember distant routines etc etc.

    Have GOT to lose weight. Am at 70 kg, all time high apart from pregnancies, so NO WAY. Have had laudable two last days and must carry on the good work.

    Also have decided to let my hair go grey. Is v. nice hair, but do not want to torture it anymore with dyes etc. Will chop it all off, as looks fantastic short, only do not like to go to the hair dresser. Afraid they'll mess up (have been burned before), but it needs a bit of help transitioning. Hm. Also is very expensive. Maybe will go once though.

  6. #106
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    Oh God, am not doing well. Am doing bad. Just had a bunch of cookies, a bunch of old fake crab meat and a huge bunch of salami, washed down with a beer, for dinner. What is going on? Why can I not get back in the groove? Have been failing on the job since Farmers Markets shut down. Now have extremely stressful time as kids always around and have to be driven to ballet, choir etc....was sitting today two hours in cold car waiting for kid while typing CV for job application, then watched ballet performance in overcrowded horrid venue, then back to clean house and cook for unappreciative and negative husband...then spent the next two hours crying becasue am so fed up. Do not want kids or husband or this miserable house or anything to do with anything. Want peace and quiet.

  7. #107
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    had big old fight with unrepentant husband but at least got him out of the house. Put the kids in front of Willy Wonka to have time to calm myself. Hungry but don't want to eat. Had cup of Crio Bru with cream, which made my eyes itchy, even though was purposly drunk in order to avoid eye swelling caused by coffee. Hm. Maybe is reaction to mold, as both coffee and crio were standing on the counter for long time. Anyway, threw the Bru away, don't like it anyway.

    Will just starve myself to death. That will teach him. Ha!

  8. #108
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    Read Michelle/Ruby's Journal and is so inspiring! Immeadiately recognized wisdom of going cold turkey, cut cals to 1500 and walked 8000 steps yesterday. Consequence is a pretty much completely sleepless night with a total of 2 h sleep as was too stubborn to eat some carbs. Then had plate of butternut squash and chicken at 4 am, with bulletproof coffee, and spent next hour miserable on the loo. So today 1 had to eat more, as sleep is v important, and 2 was too tired to marshal the kids into walk (would have gone by myself though).

    Got two jogging strollers from freecycle, a single and a double, and will start running (very slowly as am phenomenally out of shape). Also would like to have treadmill for winter, but must not be greedy and is not very pretty either.

  9. #109
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    Ugh, no sleep again as kid was throwing up all night, then other kid was up early.
    Had bacon, farmer's cheese and kale smoothie with banan and blueberries for brkfst, a can of sardines around 11, and ground beef with veggies for dinner, followed by sweet potatoes. Calories around 1600. No excercise, but tomorrow will start running (slowly).

    Weighed 68 kg today!! Down from 70 a very few days ago, so almost 4 lbs down. Very good news, haven't seen that number in a while now. Ruby-inspired cold turkey track seems to work! Also exzema receding quickly. Am a bit sick even, and v stressed out.

  10. #110
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    Yes well, the day after back to 69, then back to 70. Together with DH stress and normal stress and xmas stress it made me cave against better knowledge and have disgusting day of bad food. Now am feeling better about DH, but coming week will still be very stressful. Stress stress stress. How do normal people do it??

    Anyway, am fed up with all bad food and want oysters and salad.

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