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Thread: Paleo poet? page 2

  1. #11
    Grumpycakes's Avatar
    Grumpycakes is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    So, this poem sucks. It's trite. But at least it's a poem written in "blank verse" (unrhymed iambic pentameter). Don't do free verse until you're competent with some kind of structure. That's why I prefer the ones in this thread that at least rhyme. Anyways, shut up and read this.

    All through the morning bright we roamed the fields,
    In afternoon we tamed and reaped them bare.
    Come evening in our towers made of glass
    We bathe alone in chilly cobalt glow.
    How savage was the spear, how pure the gun,
    That which was good all day seems now, at night,
    Bathed in that cobalt glow, a thing to scorn.
    With midnight but an hour hence seem we
    So wise and hopeful for the brightest dawn.
    The crickets chirp, the birds will sing their joy,
    Just as before and for all time to come,
    But we, failing to wake, will rot away.



    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Bork Bork View Post
    Not a poet, but I do write novels. My first story was published when I was 12.
    Orly, I will look on Amazon. What are some titles?
    Last edited by Grumpycakes; 08-25-2012 at 03:52 PM.
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

  2. #12
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    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    Very nice, Grumpy. I'm afraid I fail your specifications. I'm incapable of writing in any kind of "formal" poetic structure, only free verse.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Very nice, Grumpy. I'm afraid I fail your specifications. I'm incapable of writing in any kind of "formal" poetic structure, only free verse.
    Nonsense! You can do anything if you practice.
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

  4. #14
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    Uncephalized is offline Senior Member
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    Here's one I wrote in my journal a while back. I usually write with rhyme and some semblance of meter but this one just came to me this way:

    Emerge with a blink, a stretch, a scratch,
    and the morning air wipes the sleep from your eyes.
    Cool fingers caress bared skin
    waking an ancient fur-memory.
    Concrete chills, deader than stone,
    but the rains came in the night
    and the wet earth breathes life into your soles
    as you step into the real world
    from the one we have made;
    safe, and easy, and tame.
    They stand beside you, your mate,
    and your dog, and this is right,
    the way it has always been.
    And this morning you pause,
    and almost recall what it was
    to dwell always in what is real,
    and what is now.
    And this morning you regret
    trading the real world
    for this one;
    safe, and easy, and tame.

    Just like you.
    Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

    My Primal Journal

  5. #15
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    there once was a man from nantucket..
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  6. #16
    Grumpycakes's Avatar
    Grumpycakes is offline Senior Member
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    who ate CAFO meat and said, "Fuck it."
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

  7. #17
    cori93437's Avatar
    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpycakes View Post
    who ate bread and cake and said, "Fuck it."
    FTFY
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  8. #18
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    he laughed and with a grin, he wiped off his chin and said it's all just a drop in the bucket
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  9. #19
    Lewis's Avatar
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    Low carb stinks;
    Gary Taubes is the Devil.
    The caveman knew not
    ...................hyperpalatability.

  10. #20
    Grumpycakes's Avatar
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    There once was a runner from Malibu...
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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