01-22-2013, 06:36 AM
Oh yeah! I am feeling great! Excited like a wee child!!! And, yes, my way!
Originally Posted by Zee
01-30-2013, 06:16 AM
Step by step by step...or something like that.
I move in two days. I've been going cuckoo with bed buying (found a great one!) and television buying (overwhelmed and clueless, no purchase yet). Not to mention the little things that keep adding up that I need. Coffee cups and sauté pans, tea kettles, towels, bed linens, and on and on. Although resistance is futile, I seem to be quite resistant to packing up my stuff. I've managed to wade through an ocean of books; keeping the ones that resonate and donating the others to Goodwill. But, that's it! In fact, I awakened this morning and am now procrastinating with a forum entry and a cuppa Joe.
No workouts since Sunday and no stress over this. This will be a week off, something I seldom do. Sunday, my first real day on my own, will find me at the gym. Lots of folks with Super Bowl plans. Not me. I am going to work out and buy stuff for my guest house. And garden!!!!! I have two patios. A front patio with scads of shade and a back patio that is a sun drenched bit of paradise. I feel like a teenager setting off on her own. Sooooo exciting.
Weight is fairly constant aside from a two pound loss, but clothes are loose. No appetite. Nothing sounds good and there's just too much going on. I've met with several potential employers and have arrived at the conclusion that I need to segue out of this industry. Just done slinging wine! I've peeked at dating websites and the sort of men in my dating pool. Sigh. I just can't do it. J and I have been done but living under the same roof for 2 plus years now so the mourning period for my failed relationship may be shorter than most. But!!!! I doubt I will date for a while aside from seeing friends etc. As for Mr. Man? I will see him socially the weekend after the Super Bowl. Should be interesting to see how that goes. And, as said before, even if nothing ever happens romantically with him, I enjoy laughing with him and his company. So bright, so fun. We shall see, no?
My fitness goals will be to rock a bikini this summer and to improve my flexibility as much as I can. I'm going to take a stretching class and see how it goes.
Ok, I have to pack or I will not be able to move. Ha!!!!
01-30-2013, 08:56 PM
Sounds like a lot of stress this week. Good stress for the most part, but still stress. Be sure to take care of yourself through it all, which it sounds like you're doing already.
I didn't realize there was such a thing as a "stretching class"!! I could probably use one of those. LOL
02-03-2013, 10:26 PM
Tristesse, fatigue, soldiering onward
I am spending my first night in my new guest house. Utterly knackered. It's been an intense few days! I had forgotten how tiring it is to move. But, here I am. Safe neighborhood, privacy, lovely guest house. Tired though. I actually forgot to eat today. So much happening! J was here earlier helping me do the final unpacking. This, the first night apart in years (aside from solo visits to my Mom). He sounded sad on the phone when he called to bid me goodnight. I am more sentimental than sad. This had to happen, it was the right next step. T'is done!
Second job interview this week with the job I want. Soon to be cutting my VoiceOver demo toward the end of the month. Plans with new friends, plans with old. Decorating, gardening (I shall be the veritable Queen of the container garden with not one, but two patios). Going to a new gym tomorrow that is supposed to be super. Seeing Mr. Man next weekend. The dynamic has changed there. What was innocent flirting on my part (because I was involved with someone) has shifted. Jeez, this man thinks he knows me so well and maybe he does. I just don't know.
Am thin. Now to get even stronger with weights and planks and such! Will rethink goals tomorrow. So excited!!!! Off to sleep now. A tired girl.
02-04-2013, 05:07 AM
Bet you slept well after that weekend. On to new things!
02-09-2013, 04:52 PM
Oh yes! T'is all new. Yay!
Originally Posted by Zee
I'm settled in mostly. Love my place. I've managed to decorate with my personality. Have made it to the gym twice. The second time I was there I sneezed while squatting with 25 lbs on either side of the Olympic bar. I managed to pinch a nerve and seem to have a little visible swelling. S'ok. I'll get back to it soon enough.
Second interview this Monday for the job I want. I'm a good interviewee. I don't get nervous and do say the right things, always. So, more changes, nice that. Wish I had more hunger. I don't. Perhaps I need to be a little easier on myself. There's been a lot going on.
And, the big surprise to me: I do not feel like dating. I really thought that after the last two years of roommate status with the now-ex, I'd be into dating. Especially given my attraction to Mr. Man. But I don't want to date. I just want to see my friends and settle into the new job, get my VoiceOver stuff going. I've been spending time with friends, going out to dinner or having a glass of wine. Just no desire for dating! I got hit on by a new buyer at one of my accounts. A young fellow, extremely full of himself, that did NOT have a way with words. In fact, I can't even repeat what he said as it was just that nasty. Maybe he thought that being extremely forward would garner points. Sigh. It'll happen when it happens. The dating, I mean. I don't even want to see Mr. Man. Ha!
A big week ahead. Hoping to get back to lifting by Tuesday at the latest! Back to eating more. Been craving bread all day today but won't have any.
Hope y'all have a great week.
02-10-2013, 09:56 PM
Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.
Had a great HIIT workout today and stretched out the pinch in my back on the assisted pull up machine. I'll go to the gym in the morn and do some planks and stretching and then see if I stay in alignment. If so, voila. It's off to the races I go. Or, at least to the squat rack. Food not so great today, just not enough. A little nervous about tomorrow's second interview (postponed due to some Mucky-muck's vacation, now over).
So the genesis of "tell me lies..." is that I ran into Mr. Man today socially. Completely unplanned, an absolute accident or synchronicity. He was with another friend of mine but somehow (no idea, really) Mr. Man and I got into a deep discussion about life when we were off by ourselves. It got pretty intense although there was lots of laughter and teasing too. Now I know I was lying in my last journal post that I don't want to date. Who am I kidding? None of you, certainly. Probably not him either and now, at last, definitely not myself.
We always shake each other's hand solemnly when we say goodbye as though we are both afraid of what any more physical contact would convey. Or, my fear, that if we touched then he would hear my heart pounding wildly out of my chest. This from a woman that always seems to keep her calm and knows exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right (or wrong) moment. It was time for him to go so I put out my hand to shake his and he grabbed it gently and pulled me in tightly against him and hugged me. This, a first. Ever.
Anyway, it looks like I've launched into my new life with my new house and my soon-to-be new job, my demo tape, my dreams and hopes and a big question mark about him and if his feelings are reciprocal. Maybe some day I can start one of these silly blog posts with some new-fangled way of saying "Once Upon a Time..." or at least use that phrase in the title. Time will tell. It always does.
In the meantime, more workouts and great food and feeling as amazing as I possibly know how.
02-17-2013, 07:59 AM
In pursuit of excellence...
It's a couple of weeks into my new life. I love it! So freeing. I've been working out Grokishly and improving so much. As unbelievable as it may seem, I am now up to a full two minutes with planks! 10 unassisted body weight dips are a cinch. Just can't do unassisted chin or pull ups. But!!!!! I will. My birthday is May 4 and by then I will do 3 easily!
Pity I can not claim the same improvement in eating habits. Still not eating enough, don't feel like macro reporting, etc. Would love to just have the same sense of ease with food as I do with workouts. No grains, no legumes, but a little cream in my coffee. No clue what I weigh as I didn't bring my scale when I moved. Nor do I care. I just want to be/feel fitter. With the best of intentions, I manage to eat much less than I should. I've a hair appt in a little while so will hit the grocery store on the way back and make myself eat! It's lunch that always throws me off. I'm out selling so never know what to tote in my car other than home made jerky. I may have to explore the nutrition forum for a little inspiration.
I got the new job and am awaiting my offer letter (tomorrow). Will give notice that very moment and tell the clowns what they can go do. When this whole debacle of a job reached critical mass I was amazed at all of my industry friends rallying to my aid with connections and interviews. It was at the hand of a close biz pal that I snagged an interview with the company that ultimately has offered me "the" job. Great territory. Amazing portfolio. Benefits are so much better than my current position. And commission rate is higher. Soon as I settle in, I shall cut my voice over demo and get that going too. Take some voice over workshops. Maybe an animation class this time!
Saw Mr. Man yesterday. He's still on the tail end of a failing relationship (a long distance one at that which can't be easy) so, for now, I will back off a bit. I care for him a lot, and honestly, if his current relationship is the best for him, it's what I want. Who knows. At any rate, I need to cultivate my goals and some fun in my life and if he is available somewhere down the line, so be it. But I shan't put my life on hold.
A gorgeous day here! Off to embrace the sunshine.
02-24-2013, 06:18 PM
The better it gets, well, the better it gets...
Everything feels pretty amazing. Oh, except my back. I seem to have a pinched nerve under my right scapula which limits me. I can do assisted pull ups, dips, planks, and HIIT. Voila tout. I am doing another Whole 30 starting tomorrow as sugar has creeped back sneakily into my life. I no longer have a scale and don't care. Am doing this on feel. How I feel. How my pants feel. I wanted to also do the "Eat More Fat" challenge but doing both a Whole 30 and that seems amazingly overwhelming. Perhaps I can simply segue into EMF as the 30 days draw to a close.
Job front. Wow. I gave notice and the current company is freaked out. They are coming up with a counter offer to try to keep me. Flattering. But, even with a level baseline monetary playing field, the new job offers more opportunity because of the territory. Either job leaves me enough time to work out etc, so that is not a consideration.
Friends. Weeding out the negative folks from my life. It's nice. Just feel like starting afresh in that arena. I had a somewhat alone day but didn't miss the accompanying drama that my former friends bring to the party. Yee hah!
Dating? Nope. Only been 3 weeks on my own. And, no clue about Mr. Man, for whom I do have feelings but I need to step back for now. I'm not worried about being asked out. I'm antsy that I won't have that amazing chemistry thingy. Like I have with him. We shall see. Am open to it!
Workouts for the week: Monday/off, Tuesday/light free weights to get back into it after my pinched nerve, Weds/long slow cardio, Thursday/free weights and HIIT, Friday/off, Saturday/big ol' hike, Sunday/free weights
Have a great week.
02-26-2013, 02:04 AM
Insomnia and me, are pretty good company.
Insomnia reigns supreme. My eyes are wide open. Literally. Possibly metaphorically. No clue. I fell asleep at 9:00 and awakened at midnight and am unable to fall back out. I want to go to the gym but this will depend on sleepy time...
I feel okay with my first day in the bag on my Whole 30. I must admit to craving sugar a wee bit. Damn Chai tea latte thingies. And, in typical Grokalicious fashion, I under ate because of being too busy. Grab and go, whatever the hell that means (primally and in the parameters or Whole 30). Eggs cooked in coconut oil with chiles, scallions and avocado, French press coffee, homemade beef jerky and a tangerine and, because I was knackered, an artichoke with melted pastured butter and lemon.
You know, it was a weird day which saw a lot of drama around work stuff. I am flying up to Northern California for an orientation for the new job and still being courted fervently by the current job. Ick. Plus a cleaning at the dentist and contact lens fitting. Using up my health bennies as they expire Friday and I won't have new ones until 90 days have passed. So, am sure I can ease into this Whole 30 a little better and add in more food!
For the first time since I've moved out, I felt a little alone today. Not lonely though and not all bad. It was kind of amazing to feel so free and positive without worrying about J feeling depressed. I do miss the banter and silliness of a good relationship with a man but for now can banter with friends.
Life is good! The weather perfect, the whole world opening up under my feet as though I were 17 again and just starting out.
And now, oh joy of joys, I am sleepy at long last. XxxX.