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Thread: Why are people so concerned with weight-loss? page 7

  1. #61
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silky View Post
    Wow that would serious upset me. I gained a fair bit of weight due to medication and my H has been nothing but supportive about it and tells me every day how pretty I am. I can see he is pleased that I am now losing, but there Is no pressure to do so. I'm not saying thee hasn't been gentle teasing ("there's just more of you to love", type of thing) but no pressure to change how I look.

    He wants you to lose on your this. Wow, what are you supposed to do? Cut it off with a knife?
    i don't know. I've always looked about how i do now (except when we met i was 118 lbs and now i'm 130ish, but i look slightly leaner now). i don't know how much fat is possible to lose off of my thighs while remaining healthy. If i get to the level of leanness that i prefer, and it's still not lean enough for him, that's just tough. i do wish that he was less opinionated about my body. lots of women would love to look the way i do after 3 kids. he's has dropped hints and given his opinion (usually after i asked, but still quite readily) many times over the years, so i've started to do the same. he could definitely gain a little muscle.

    sbhikes- i think you have lovely legs. the picture is a little misleading because your knees are darker than the rest of your skin (i'm the same way), and that gives the appearance of more curve. not that's there's anything wrong with more curve, just apparently it's not what your goal is.
    Last edited by Saoirse; 08-16-2012 at 06:44 PM.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    i don't know. I've always looked about how i do now (except when we met i was 118 lbs and now i'm 130ish, but i look slightly leaner now). i don't know how much fat is possible to lose off of my thighs while remaining healthy. If i get to the level of leanness that i prefer, and it's still not lean enough for him, that's just tough. i do wish that he was less opinionated about my body. lots of women would love to look the way i do after 3 kids. he's has dropped hints and given his opinion (usually after i asked, but still quite readily) many times over the years, so i've started to do the same. he could definitely gain a little muscle.
    Your mistake is that you asked. His mistake is that he answered honestly. I think you're hot!

  3. #63
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    Sorry about typos. Autocorrect hates me!

    130 and had 3 kids! Wow! I should be taking lessons from you on how you have done it.
    You look great in your profile pic. Hope you get to where you want to get to.

  4. #64
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    lol, right on both accounts! thank you. it's honestly a good lesson for me, to learn how to disregard the opinions of others. *I* would like to look a little leaner, and have a little more muscle mass. he's not into muscles quite so much. *shrug* i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.

    thanks silky. i'm also short- 5'4" so 130 isn't as little as it is on others. in my head, 115 is still where i think i *should* be, but honestly i think i'd have to sacrifice muscle to get to that point, so i need to give up that arbitrary number.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.
    High five!

  6. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    lol, right on both accounts! thank you. it's honestly a good lesson for me, to learn how to disregard the opinions of others. *I* would like to look a little leaner, and have a little more muscle mass. he's not into muscles quite so much. *shrug* i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.

    thanks silky. i'm also short- 5'4" so 130 isn't as little as it is on others. in my head, 115 is still where i think i *should* be, but honestly i think i'd have to sacrifice muscle to get to that point, so i need to give up that arbitrary number.
    You are beautiful! I can see from your profile pic that you are delicate, with an hourglass figure. I'm 5'3, 120- trust me-- plenty of men dig that shape, even if your hubby doesn't! Mine sure does!!

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by SentWest View Post
    Just because someone has different asthetic ideals than you doesn't mean they have a mental problem.

    I personally prefer *very* thin men (I'm a female), that fall outside the ideal for most women, I also tend to think lithe looks better than muscular. Just me, doesn't mean I have unrealistic ideas about my own body.
    It's one thing to having different aesthetic ideals, I certainly have plenty. However, the quoted content made mass generalizations in regards to women with larger thighs, which was primarily a reflection of how the poster views herself and the limitations her self image seems to place upon her (can't sit a certain way, what?).

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasputina View Post
    You are beautiful! I can see from your profile pic that you are delicate, with an hourglass figure. I'm 5'3, 120- trust me-- plenty of men dig that shape, even if your hubby doesn't! Mine sure does!!
    thanks Rasputina and Silky. I get my share of sideways glances and unabashed staring. I'm not sure what hubby's deal is. just different strokes i suppose.

  9. #69
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    It's only a mistake to ask if you're not ready to face answers you might dislike
    If he wants you thinner, that's ok. You don't have to indulge to every one of his wills
    However I think you should use it to you advantage. You want him more muscular? Condition some weight loss for his work outs!
    Everything is bad for something - How do you feel today?

  10. #70
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    I want to be healthy, and live a looooong life (and not one where I deteriorate greatly in old age). Hell, I wanna be independent and looking after myself at 100!

    BUT I also wanna LGN in the meantime. I don't think I have EVER had a great body. It wasn't too bad when I was younger, but it wasn't the body that appealed to ME. Yes, I have my own aesthetic preferences, and I really don't care about those of others (in other words, someone might think I look better with a little extra padding, but *I* don't, and it's how *I* feel that counts).

    My aesthetic ideal for both men and women is lean and athletic looking. Obviously I like to see a few more muscles on men than women, but I prefer toned/athletic women with nice musculature than ones without. I also don't like flabby bits. At all. (At the moment I have some fine muscle hidden under LOTS of flabby bits).

    I actually know my husband would prefer me to stay a bit "curvier" (not that I have a really curvy build anyway lol) because he seems to find bigger legs and tummy more attractive. I don't. I want flat abs and lean legs (no, they'll never be the skinny type with a gap between my thighs as I seem genetically programmed to have meaty, muscly thighs, dammit... but at the very least, I can pare down the FAT!).

    Ultimately, I just want to look in the mirror and think I look great! And that's a fine goal. I don't want to do it by eating unhealthily, or starving or anything stupid. Obviously my health is my #1 priority in that regard. But I don't see why I can't have both the health and the great bod . I look forward to a summer where I can wear a bikini and not feel ashamed!

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