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Thread: Why are people so concerned with weight-loss? page 20

  1. #191
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    It seems to me that broadly speaking, the men in this thread all prefer the muscular or curvy legs while the women prefer the skinny legs.

    Please indulge me with a thought experiment. In one of the chapters of Sex at Dawn it talked about the difference between men and womens sexual responses. The researchers showed men and women (of various sexual persuasions) pictures of a variety of sexual scenarios (male-male, male-female, female-female, bonobos etc). They ALSO wired them up so they could see what their brain responses were. Then the subjects were asked them which scenarios aroused them.

    What they found was that with men, their reported arousal and their brain arousal were the same. Men were turned on by any picture that contained their sexual target (e.g. a woman if they were hetero, or a man if they were gay).

    What they found with women was... more complex. Basically women consistently gave the 'conventionally correct' answer verbally (e.g. liking the pictures with naked men in them if they self-reported as hetero), but their brain responses had little to no correlation with their verbal answers. Basically they gave the answer that they thought was right for a person like them, rather than what they actually thought.

    Could something like that be happening here? Women-in-this-thread, if someone wired your brain up, and could detect what you *actually* think about those legs, which do you think you would like more? Would your 'brain' answer match the 'correct' answer of the skinny legs?
    Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

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  2. #192
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    Well, I don't want the skinny legs, so I'm maybe an outlier, but as someone who's attracted to people regardless of gender, I can tell you that I also don't find the skinny legs very sexy.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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  3. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by magicmerl View Post
    Could something like that be happening here? Women-in-this-thread, if someone wired your brain up, and could detect what you *actually* think about those legs, which do you think you would like more? Is it *really* the 'correct' answer of the skinny legs?
    In my head, skinny = weak, and competance is a big turn on for me. Weak is not. So I'd still go with muscular legs on a woman, up until the point that they become "masculine" legs (like a few of the female bodybuilders that are quite obviously on steroids). Then they're not sexy anymore because they've lost the feminine line. But they have to be pretty big before they get to that point.

    I guess what I'm saying is that I think women absolutely look best with muscle, but not with the harder, more angular lines that I think of when I think of a man's legs.

    Make sense? Or rambling...
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  4. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by OutdoorAmy View Post
    I'm concerned about weight loss because I'm technically obese, though I've yet to experience any of the side effects of that by virtue of being young, apart from the social stigma and dearth of dating opportunities. I want to be at a healthy (and more attractive) weight as I feel it will improve my chances of getting married and having a family of my own. My father's side of the family is also very prone to diabetes, and while I'm neither diabetic or even pre-diabetic at this point in my life, I know that my chances are even higher than most. I also view weight as a side effect of less than optimal diet choices, so making better diet choices should result in weight loss and if it is not, then I would be concerned. That's just me, but I suspect most others concerned about weight are in a similar if not identical boat (I didn't have time to read all 19 pages of this thread to find out first - sorry)
    You know what's attractive? Knowing that you are worthwhile. Guys like chicks that can do stuff physically, the same way chicks like guys who are into kinds (in my circle of friends anyway).

    I wouldn't put tooo much stock in BMI, I think that it's a terrible measure of individual health. I was technically 'morbidly obese' a couple of years ago (which is a total joke because although I was overweight, I was in no way obese). BF% is a much better measure of health IMO (18-30% for women and 10-20% for men).

    I was talking with the wif about idea BF%, since neither of us is planning on losing weight, but we do want to lower our BF%. I think that women NEED about 8-10% more fat than men. So 10% BF on a man is about the same as 18% on a woman (which is really pushing the low end of what I would think is attractive in either sex). Currently I'm at 20% and she is at 29%, so the race is on between us to drop about 3%.
    Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

    Griff's cholesterol primer
    5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
    Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
    TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
    bloodorchid is always right

  5. #195
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    Could something like that be happening here? Women-in-this-thread, if someone wired your brain up, and could detect what you *actually* think about those legs, which do you think you would like more? Would your 'brain' answer match the 'correct' answer of the skinny legs?
    Heh, my response would probably set the equipment on fire with my preference for slender legs. Ye gods, I still remember how when we were 15 and playing a game of associations on the train on one of our field trips, one of the guys described me as associated with a guitar or a cello and made that effing 'shape' in the air. I remember my grandma slapping my things telling how wonderfully attractive to a man they would be... And all I ever wanted to be was a romantic, lithe, slender gal; and instead I was something over-ripe and ready for plucking or whatever. EWWWWWWWWWW!

    Slender and muscular legs all the way for me! Maybe I could not figure out how to do it at 16, but now, now, I should be able to. I can finally shed the fat suit and have the inner and outer me who are not in conflict. I will HAVE IT. I will not LOSE HOPE. I WILL NOT! There gotta be a way, and I will find it.
    Last edited by Leida; 08-24-2012 at 07:45 AM.
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  6. #196
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    good luck to you leida. just don't beat yourself up if you don't get there.

  7. #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    I remember my grandma slapping my things telling how wonderfully attractive to a man they would be... And all I ever wanted to be was a romantic, lithe, slender gal; and instead I was something over-ripe and ready for plucking or whatever.
    There are theories out there that unwanted, even dangerous, sexual attraction from males triggers self-hatred of secondary sexual characteristics in women which sometimes is seen to be a factor in certain kinds of eating disorders. Using terms like "over-ripe" and "ready for plucking" seems to hint at such a thing.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  8. #198
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    Heh, my response would probably set the equipment on fire with my preference for slender legs. Ye gods, I still remember how when we were 15 and playing a game of associations on the train on one of our field trips, one of the guys described me as associated with a guitar or a cello and made that effing 'shape' in the air. I remember my grandma slapping my things telling how wonderfully attractive to a man they would be... And all I ever wanted to be was a romantic, lithe, slender gal; and instead I was something over-ripe and ready for plucking or whatever. EWWWWWWWWWW!

    Slender and muscular legs all the way for me! Maybe I could not figure out how to do it at 16, but now, now, I should be able to. I can finally shed the fat suit and have the inner and outer me who are not in conflict. I will HAVE IT. I will not LOSE HOPE. I WILL NOT! There gotta be a way, and I will find it.
    This is the kind of post that set off my BDD/ED alarm before. I'll try not to repeat the experience but to me this post reads "I am not happy with my natural shape! Skinny legs at any cost, and damn the consequences!"
    Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

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  9. #199
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    You only fail when you die, so the beating up thing is virtually impossible, unless there is Life after Death.

    Can't a woman not like fat bulges on her thighs and not be crazy, sexually abused, traumatized, have an Eating Disorder, Body Dis-morphia, etc? Or is it a pe-requisit, like if you don't like your thighs & you are 'normal' weight, you need to be committed?

    Alright, if I post one more thing about myself and my thighs and my life-long quest to be slender, I will completely degenerate into a wan attention seeker.

    In the end, one needs to do what feels good for him or her, body and mind and soul.
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  10. #200
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    What about us guys? We're raised to believe we're not only incompetent, lazy and overbearing - but then we're given a flabby gut to complete the picture. I want none of it. I want to be a competent, dedicated, equally involved fit person. And that means I don't want to look like Homer Simpson in any way whatsoever. To me, a guy with a gut is a guy who either has no clue about health and food in general - and so probably is not the most intelligent - or is proud to eat government rations of fake freedom food. And I don't want to know either one.

    Is it vanity? Borderline. Mostly, I'm done being treated like a stupid little boy and rewarded for "doing my best" in a world of feminists. I still feel a twinge of shame when I type that I am a man. As if my gender is weak, stupid, and makes a fine house pet. And the belly was part of that. Now that it's gone, I feel more liberated. People take me seriously - a little more often than they used to. Sure I like looking nice, but I like being treated like a competent human even better.

    After being the chubby guy my whole life, the weight is now on my words instead of my lower abdomen.


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