How do you deal with enablers? page

[Goldensparrow]

Ever since I became pregnant, I have zero willpower around my mother and husband. If I was secluded all day, then I'd be fine. But unfortunately I work with my mother, and of course, hubby is home in the evening. During the weekdays, hubby and I do fine at night, but the weekend is a field day. And vice versa for 2 out of 5 weekdays when I'm at work with my mother. I know it's not good for me or the baby, but I keep telling myself I've only gained 13lbs, so what's a little sugar? It's mostly sugar. I occasionally eat grains in fried foods but not all out bread, pasta, etc. What's a gal to do?

[NowhereMan]

I don't know anything about pregnancy, I'm a 20 year old guy. But this is my opinion...

First you need to explain these concerns to both your husband and mother. Ask them to help you and explain that it's important to the health of you and your child. There's no reason you should be working against them to stay healthy. If you have this discussion with them and they continue to "enable", you should be angry. Anger is a very powerful motivator.

[Goldensparrow]

I understand your point of view, but I also feel like I need more self control. It's unfair of me to put the burden on them just cause I succumb to peer pressure so easily isn't it? They both know my goals already, but life happens I guess.

[jakey]

hey, you're not avoiding natural sugar or starch during your pregnancy are you? or actually trying to lose weight? hope not!

[palebluedots]

Over the years I have learned that it generally doesn't work to expect others to help you reach your goals (especially with eating). Really, I think the best thing you can do would be to politely decline the food you don't want to eat. Even if you need to make something up to get them off your back, do it! You could tell them that sugar is suddenly making your tummy hurt or something like that. Then, there's really no arguing about it, you just say "oh, i'd love to, and wish I could, but I don't want to feel sick". Or you could say that you really want to make sure your baby is healthy (although that will likely make them feel guilty for urging you to eat crap food, which could result in them acting out even more). But yeah, really, it boils down to you and how much you want to do this.

[BrodieMN]

Good luck. My mother is the worst enabler. She brings the kids doritos, candy, popcorn and ice cream sandwiches everytime she sees them. I try to explain to her how I want us all to eat healthier. She responds in a typical fashion that the kids need a snack every now and then.....uhg. I can't stop her. The best I can do is throw the food out when I see it and for me that means driving to throw it away. I have very little will power.

[ciavyn]

Over the years I have learned that it generally doesn't work to expect others to help you reach your goals (especially with eating). Really, I think the best thing you can do would be to politely decline the food you don't want to eat. Even if you need to make something up to get them off your back, do it! You could tell them that sugar is suddenly making your tummy hurt or something like that. Then, there's really no arguing about it, you just say "oh, i'd love to, and wish I could, but I don't want to feel sick". Or you could say that you really want to make sure your baby is healthy (although that will likely make them feel guilty for urging you to eat crap food, which could result in them acting out even more). But yeah, really, it boils down to you and how much you want to do this.

+1

[Goldensparrow]

No, I'm not avoiding natural sugar and starches although I generally don't want the starches. I eat a lot of fruit in my opinion, which is probably triggering the extra sugar attacks. I also don't have cravings for meat much anymore. It just doesn't taste as good as it did before I became preggers. I know it would help if it satisfied me like it used to.

I think I just need to try harder and ignore their cries for junk food lol. Between getting exhausted with cooking during the weekdays, though, and needing a "pick me up" after lunches....I feel like I'm doomed!

[ciavyn]

Maybe you should check out some sites for women -- like Paleo for Women (google it) -- for advice while pregnant. My initial response is that you need more fat in your diet, and eat less fruit. But I'm not pregnant and don't ever intend to be. I would visit some other women's blogs who could give you some pointers -- you can do this, I've no doubt.

[sbhikes]

If my partner turned to me and said why don't you stop me, I'd have to ask him if that's what he really wants me to do, and if so I'd probably say okay then stop, and if he didn't stop I'd just laugh and say I guess you really don't want to stop, do you? If he really truly wanted to stop then he'd probably just stop and it wouldn't have much of anything to do with me and what I do.