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Thread: Frustrating conversations with coworkers page 4

  1. #31
    Owly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissypants View Post
    I personally would bristle at a thin woman walking by me saying, "Lunch time! I love food!" or something similar. I would feel like they are rubbing it in rather than trying to be helpful. The last thing I would need as a large person with low self esteem is a thin person acting superior. Maybe that's not how Owly meant it, but that's how I (as a big person) read it. Maybe that's why they don't listen to the advice? I don't mean to offend and maybe I'm reading a level of smugness in to these posts (not just Owly's) that isn't there. I'm still obese and getting smaller all the time, but the angry, self hating morbidly obese girl is still inside and might be reading something more to this...
    I'm sorry you find that offensive. I have not always been a thin person, and I do not say anything like that in a superior tone (nor was the woman I said it to obese). I also didn't just walk by anyone and say it--I said it to a co-worker I was working directly with as a way of cheerfully noting it was noon.

    I say things like that because women have such deeply effed up relationships with food, and every conversation around food in the average office seems to constantly be about how "bad" we are for eating things and how many calories/fat grams/carbs are in something. Nobody just enjoys their damn food, and they torture themselves with skinny lattes and Lean Cuisines instead of just eating some real food.

    I'm a little upset that you'd assume I was that sort of person who'd rub it in to anyone that she or he wasn't as thin as me. I don't preach at people about their weight, nor do I make snide comments to imply anything of the sort. That's part of why I'm not one of the diet proselytizers. I'm actually a supporter of things like HAES and believe that the primary reason to eat well is for health, and that weight loss may or may not follow. Personally, I have friends whose bodies are all sorts of sizes, and I think they're all awesome. I think perhaps you should check how your own feelings about your body are painting the way you read people on this thread.

    I get annoyed because I hate the assumption that I am the size I am because I don't eat. I eat a lot of food because I'm really active, and I am tired of women feeling ashamed of eating. I want to be able to eat a meal without people judging it and assessing my worth and willpower based on what I put on my plate. That messed-up crap around food leads a lot of women (me too in the past) to eat almost nothing in public and then binge in secret, followed by some lovely self-loathing. Yay for surviving eating disorders. If I can show a positive relationship with food, then how am I harming anyone?

    I like food. I like eating. I don't know why I should feel guilty for saying it, any more than I should feel guilty for saying that I like to read books and go for walks with my dog. That's a healthy and normal relationship with eating, and I'm not going to be ashamed of enjoying my lunch.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owly View Post
    I get annoyed because I hate the assumption that I am the size I am because I don't eat. I eat a lot of food because I'm really active, and I am tired of women feeling ashamed of eating. I want to be able to eat a meal without people judging it and assessing my worth and willpower based on what I put on my plate. That messed-up crap around food leads a lot of women (me too in the past) to eat almost nothing in public and then binge in secret, followed by some lovely self-loathing. Yay for surviving eating disorders. If I can show a positive relationship with food, then how am I harming anyone?

    I like food. I like eating. I don't know why I should feel guilty for saying it, any more than I should feel guilty for saying that I like to read books and go for walks with my dog. That's a healthy and normal relationship with eating, and I'm not going to be ashamed of enjoying my lunch.
    Word.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owly View Post
    ...I'm a little upset that you'd assume I was that sort of person who'd rub it in to anyone that she or he wasn't as thin as me. I don't preach at people about their weight, nor do I make snide comments to imply anything of the sort. That's part of why I'm not one of the diet proselytizers. I'm actually a supporter of things like HAES and believe that the primary reason to eat well is for health, and that weight loss may or may not follow. Personally, I have friends whose bodies are all sorts of sizes, and I think they're all awesome. I think perhaps you should check how your own feelings about your body are painting the way you read people on this thread...
    You actually quoted me when I stated that my weight might be coloring how I felt. I don't know you nor have I researched all of your past posts. I'm sorry I upset you.
    [/QUOTE]...Maybe that's not how Owly meant it, but that's how I (as a big person) read it...but the angry, self hating morbidly obese girl is still inside and might be reading something more to this...[/QUOTE]

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissypants View Post
    You actually quoted me when I stated that my weight might be coloring how I felt. I don't know you nor have I researched all of your past posts. I'm sorry I upset you.
    ...Maybe that's not how Owly meant it, but that's how I (as a big person) read it...but the angry, self hating morbidly obese girl is still inside and might be reading something more to this...
    Not normally a *touchy/feely* person but~ healing just takes time, and it's a YMMV kind of thing~

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nady View Post
    Not normally a *touchy/feely* person but~ healing just takes time, and it's a YMMV kind of thing~
    Thank you, Nady.

  6. #36
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    I feel an obligation to wake people up about their diets. At the same time, I don't want to be hated, which is the universal response when you try to take people's cake away from them. So, when the conversation comes up, I simply say "I don't like to talk about diet. People are sensitive about what they eat. But if you give me your email address, I will send you a list of the books I've read that got me started on my diet, which is very enjoyable and good for my health". I've sent out a lot of emails over the past few years. No responses so far.

  7. #37
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    Oh, I get the occasional comments about not taking the donuts or pizza at work cause I don't eat....lol! I usually reply that I had 3 eggs and 4 pieces of bacon and coffee with cream before work. I believe they think I am lying. I just find it amusing. So many of them are not ready for the change.

  8. #38
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    I don't even try at work. If anyone asks, I tell them I don't eat grain based foods because it causes my fibro to flare. Weight loss is just an added benefit.
    Fighting fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain since 2002.

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    Our bodies crave real food. We remain hungry as long as we refuse to eat real food, no matter how much junk we stuff into our stomachs. ~J. Stanton

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