Girlfriend is Ruining my Primal page 5

[randomcow]

Additional points:

- yes, you are correct that the Japanese diet is not what it used to be, and there is a "fat wave" sweeping the nation. Having said that, my girlfriend's cooking is healthy, albeit it contains salad oil, rice/noodles and sugar/mirin.

- I may have used poetic license on the translation a little. But the fact that she feels pressure from not contributing to the household is true. I am demanding in response to the way she is wired. It might seem a little strange to the feminist crowd but all signs point to her being satisfied with the situation.

- English is my native language. However seven years in Japan will change anyone.

- Lots of different personalities on this site, and I honestly appreciate all the replies.

- Sorry for the cross posts. At work, trying to type this up, and it took a little longer than I thought it would.

RC

[IcarianVX]

you're both idiots. Don't breed.

lmfao

[MrsC]

Clearly it's not repugnant enough.

Do you not understand how offensive and fucked up that is?

As a woman who's been married nearly 30 years ... NO, I don't see how "fucked up" that thought it.

I've also never had to lose 100+ pounds ... maybe "fucked up" females stay thinner???

[jojohaligo]

As a woman who's been married nearly 30 years ... NO, I don't see how "fucked up" that thought it.

I've also never had to lose 100+ pounds ... maybe "fucked up" females stay thinner???

huh?

[cori93437]

As a woman who's been married nearly 30 years ... NO, I don't see how "fucked up" that thought it.

I've also never had to lose 100+ pounds ... maybe "fucked up" females stay thinner???

Wow... completely uncalled for.

I've been with my husband 15 years... he prefers me VERY independent.
As I prefer him.
I don't do things to KEEP him.
We are friends and lovers and do things for each other because they make both of us happy... not as a form or trade.

OTOH, if the OP's gf does that stuff because it makes her happy, great... but it's not necessary in order to have a healthy relationship.
Different strokes for different folks.

But WISHing for absolute subservience from a person is weird.
And I also equate the WISH for a completely subservient partner with some seriously messed up issues.


To top it off... Personal jabs about weight... in a health and weight loss forum?1
Shows a rather 'fucked up' picture of your personality.
A very, very, ugly picture.

[Leida]

Originally Posted by Warmbear
I know, the idea of a woman wishing to serve her man is repugnant to western attitudes but I would kill for a wife that felt that way.

Yes, but she is not trying to serve her man. Serving her man, nets the response in the vein of: "I admire your idea, my love. I shall start cooking what you asked for starting next minute."

The typical response of an equal partner would be: "Hmm, interesting. Let us try it, and see how it goes. It's kindda hard for me to adapt, so maybe you should do some of the cooking, like chopping the enormous quantities of vegetables that life-style would require. Are you also willing to increase in our food bills, since meat is >> than rice? Oh, and I will also keep eating what I feel like eating, since it works for me."

The lady's response was: "You are an idiot. Your ideas are stupid. I know better. I am going to mock you until you give up. And if mocking doesn't work I will play the 'poor little abused me' routine. Boy, men are stupid...." That's not submissive, that's passive-aggressive, and, imo, just plain wrong. Well, unless the OP is the type who brings in a new diet home every week and requires dramatic changes....

[sbhikes]

Additional points:

- yes, you are correct that the Japanese diet is not what it used to be, and there is a "fat wave" sweeping the nation. Having said that, my girlfriend's cooking is healthy, albeit it contains salad oil, rice/noodles and sugar/mirin.

- I may have used poetic license on the translation a little. But the fact that she feels pressure from not contributing to the household is true. I am demanding in response to the way she is wired. It might seem a little strange to the feminist crowd but all signs point to her being satisfied with the situation.

- English is my native language. However seven years in Japan will change anyone.

- Lots of different personalities on this site, and I honestly appreciate all the replies.

- Sorry for the cross posts. At work, trying to type this up, and it took a little longer than I thought it would.

RC

I believe you are a good man. And I totally understand your wife's desire to make her best contribution to the household. I think it is sad that others can't really see that and that they respond with knee-jerk stuff. I've been in a position similar to your wife's, wanting to make a bigger or equal contribution and only having my unpaid work as the means to do it. I don't know the solution for you, maybe you could see if she'd cook even MORE traditionally than she does now, using fewer processed ingredients, less wheat. I don't know, but I don't think ill of her or you in your situation. I hope you can find an answer.

[Gravyboat]

As a woman who's been married nearly 30 years ... NO, I don't see how "fucked up" that thought it.

I've also never had to lose 100+ pounds ... maybe "fucked up" females stay thinner???

Really? You're postulating that the reason women get fat is because they aren't dedicated enough to catching and serving a man?

Oh wow. Wow.

But WISHing for absolute subservience from a person is weird.
And I also equate the WISH for a completely subservient partner with some seriously messed up issues.


To top it off... Personal jabs about weight... in a health and weight loss forum?1
Shows a rather 'fucked up' picture of your personality.
A very, very, ugly picture.

This.

[Gwynn]

As a woman who's been married nearly 30 years ... NO, I don't see how "fucked up" that thought it.

I've also never had to lose 100+ pounds ... maybe "fucked up" females stay thinner???

That was an incredibly ugly thing to say. Unproductive as well.

[demuralist]

Nom Nom Paleo

This might help? Good Luck.

I try to leave judgements out of my dealings with others, especially when basically they are asking for help.