Relationship and Diet page 3

[quelsen]

Hi Guys,

I started going out with my currently girlfriend a few months ago. We get along really well and everything is going great in this cool American summer.

The only struggle is that she eats non primally... she not a vegetarian or vegan but she loves eating rubbish foods like sugary ice cream, chocolate, coke, cake, desserts, processed foods, bread, etc etc and she doesn't have much motivation to change.

And I gotta say it REALLY bugs me.

For a girl who loves self-development I can't help but seeing that she is only harming herself.

She complains about stiff joints, a really sore back, etc but still gobbles down horrible food.

How have other people handled this sort of issue?

Another thing that irks me is that what if we have a child together in the future... y'know i want her to be a healthy bearer to pass on health and the best start to life as possible for the child.

Any thoughts?

Thanks

Phil

it is called alignment.

you have stuff you need,
she has stuff she needs

if she needs to eat this way and you need her not to eat this way you must leave.

if she doesnt need to eat this way and simple lack education, provide it, then see what decision she makes. Refer to above

Life with other humans are rife with this come to jesus shit. how you deal with it is far more important than what IT is.

I am an enneagram 5 so i tend to live and let live. others may have a more get in your face approach.

I never tell anyone what they must do i simply decide if i am willing to be with them when they do it, if not i walk. so little drama so much joy.

[quelsen]

Stop acting like a pompous ass? Her body, her choice.

partly right. but a surprising insight into you, i would not have expected you to be pro choice.

[bloodorchid]

How about asking your SO to simply read a book, oh like PB, with an open mind but the even refuse to do that?

then oh well

[Scott F]

then oh well

except a marriage is suppose to be built on some give and take otherwise it's not a marriage but roommating

[bloodorchid]

okay, you read her diet books

[Scott F]

Not books but I have done other stuff that she asked. Since we eat together and there are some autoimmune issues it just gets a little frustrating at times.

[GuineaPigQueen]

except a marriage is suppose to be built on some give and take otherwise it's not a marriage but roommating

How long have you guys been dating?

You can date someone without any intention of marriage. A fun ride with an inevitable ending, but a learning experience nonetheless.

[Scott F]

How long have you guys been dating?

You can date someone without any intention of marriage. A fun ride with an inevitable ending, but a learning experience nonetheless.

were married, 23 years. Her and our daughter now have hypothyroidism. She exercises and overall she watches what she eats but makes it a point to comment to me that she's eating bread since she knows I don't grains anymore. Cutting the grains cleared up a chronic need I always had of clearing my throat. Nora Gedgaudas, Primal Body Primal Mind, among others like Robb Wolf believe gluten cause intestinal permeability is driving a lot of autoimmune diseases, including hypothyroid. Basically, all I've done is ask her to read part of a book on the subject.

[iniQuity]

Let's see, I went primal January 2010, I was dating the girl I now live with. She sort of got on board with me, but not fully cus she has a sweet tooth. It's been quite a while now, my eating habits have remained the same (80% primal) and hers also, I would put her at 60%

The thing about women that took me forever to understand is that they deal with a lot more shit, from a hormones standpoint, than men do. It should have been obvious, knowing full well about menstrual periods and all. However, this extends beyond just that time of the month. Sometimes my girlfriend "feels" like she needs to eat something comforting for random reasons, and this almost always means some sort of cereal with skim milk. She claims it's bland enough and familiar enough, during those moments the last thing she cares about is nutrition. This used to be hard for me to understand, I would say to myself "She's read the books, she KNOWS grains are shitty, she KNOWS skim milk is shitty, especially considering you could simply dilute the grass fed whole milk I buy her... so what the fuck." but I never really made a big deal out of it. She is fully aware that she's just taking in nothing, but like I said, she has no desire for meat or veggies or even fruit or even plain white rice or plain-ish mashed potatoes.

She also does sometimes eat worse stuff, she's a big ice cream fan (I join in too, not as often though, but I can't exactly preach to her on that one) but also likes terrible breakfast foods like pancakes with syrup, french toast, blah blah.

There's little I can do about it anymore, she does eat better when it comes to lunch and dinner because I make them 90% of the time. So, I figure she eats better than others most of the time and I just can't focus on her shitty eating.

Your gf does eat way more bad stuff than mine does, but what I'm saying is, even with all the information she may not ever decide to change. If this is a problem you should exit sooner than later.

Oh, and if you're concerned with the child-bearing aspect, do NOT read "Nutrition and Physical Degeneration" or you won't procreate with this woman.

[ciavyn]

Woof. Tough crowd, some of these folks.

Couple o' anecdotal thoughts.

First, I was married and discovered I have celiac's disease. Lemme just tell ya -- shock to everyone's system. And not a happy one. He tried to be a good sport, but reality is, he eats like shite, and doesn't want to change. So due to other events, we are no longer married. I lived alone, made food for myself, and was a happy little Grokette. Met someone new. He gives a crap about his health, is on board with Primal/paleo eating, loves that I cook that way, doesn't mine being completely gluten free, and we also investigate healthy living together. I am so freakin' thrilled to be with someone who enjoys the similar things that I do. He's not as passionate, but he contributes and takes part. It's a much better partnership.

My BFF also eats and thinks the way I do. She dated someone for whom chicken nuggets and french fries is a meat and vegetable, with a strawberry smoothie on the side for health. It drove her batty. She wants someone who is passionate about looking good and feeling good. As she pointed out, she doesn't want to be with someone who will end up overweight and paunchy when his metabolism craps out and he continues to eat crap. (A worthwhile consideration, I don't care how much we like to say love is unconditional. Man-boobs are not sexy for the bulk of us.)

It depends on your passion. Is this simply what you do, and you are okay with doing it alone? From your post, I would argue that's not the case. So you need to really soul search. There is NOTHING wrong if nutrition is your deal breaker, and I think you are BEYOND WISE to consider having children with someone like your GF. She will feed her child as she feeds herself -- maybe a little better, but she's following CW. So then you'll have to deal with that argument.

Relationships are hard enough. If you already have a beef this soon into the relationship, that should be your cue. You have values that do not match hers. She's entitled to her values and passions, but they may not match yours. There will be another woman who will have more things in common, and you won't have something seemingly petty (though I'd argue it's anything but) adding fuel to the occasional fire. Trying to convince her of something when she's not interested is wasted energy.