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Thread: Need some recommendations for my wife's high risk pregnancy please page 4

  1. #31
    fuzzylogic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosegin View Post
    Breastfeeding is not any of those things. Bottle-feeding takes at least twice as long as breastfeeding, and breastfeeding isn't at all annoying. Contrary to popular belief, nearly EVERY woman can breastfeed. It is only a very, very small percentage of women who cannot. In most cases of women who "can't" it's because some idiot gave them poor information.
    Oh bullshit. Go to any parenting site, and you will find women crying and wondering what is wrong with them that they are still in pain, don't have enough milk, and can't manage to pump. Breastfeeding is wonderful when it works, but honestly doesn't always work. Way back when, when women died in childbirth, they also nursed each other's babies and fed them goats milk with a rag in a bottle. Formula was developed as a safer alternative to the milk that was already being fed to infants......not out of the clear blue sky.

    Bottlefeeding means that someone else can feed the baby, allowing mom to sleep and dad to participate in childrearing in the early days. It does, however, mean that mom loses her exclusive rights to feeding the baby---something that bothers quite a few people who want mom at home and without power.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
    My third baby's labor was so efficient that my husband didn't make it home and I birthed by myself.
    Colour me impressed.
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  3. #33
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    Lol. it was kind of cool. and i guess it raises eyebrows, so that's also kind of cool.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzylogic View Post
    Oh bullshit. Go to any parenting site, and you will find women crying and wondering what is wrong with them that they are still in pain, don't have enough milk, and can't manage to pump. Breastfeeding is wonderful when it works, but honestly doesn't always work. Way back when, when women died in childbirth, they also nursed each other's babies and fed them goats milk with a rag in a bottle. Formula was developed as a safer alternative to the milk that was already being fed to infants......not out of the clear blue sky.

    Bottlefeeding means that someone else can feed the baby, allowing mom to sleep and dad to participate in childrearing in the early days. It does, however, mean that mom loses her exclusive rights to feeding the baby---something that bothers quite a few people who want mom at home and without power.
    Ignorant! Home and without power? I'm so sick of motherhood being denigrated as unimportant.

    I exclusively breastfeed a 5 month old and am very well rested (we also co-sleep...another child-rearing method that's poo-poo'd by anti-baby Western ideology that sees children as inconveniences to be managed rather than human beings to be raised).

    I feel sorry for women who don't/can't/won't breastfeed...its easy (after the initial learning curve), fast, free and the best thing I can feed my baby. So many women in the US fail to successfully breastfeed because we don't support and educate women. Talk about keeping women powerless...unable to feed their own babies? Dependent on forumula companies? No thanks!

    To the original poster - my husband went to a couple of visits with my lactation consultant. His support and feedback (watching me feed the baby) was really critical in helping me successfully learn to breastfeed. Not to mention him picking up some slack in other things around the house...Aside from supporting your wife in her pregnancy (let her eat what she can/wants as long as it's reasonably healthy), supporting her in breastfeeding is a great gift to your child. While it IS natural, it's not necessarily easy if she hasn't been exposed to other breastfeeding women.
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  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by linuxguy0481 View Post
    I even bought Almond milk so my wife can drink it. She won't. She is very picky with her milk (it was worth a shot).
    adults, pregnant or otherwise, do not need to drink milk for good health.


    I want my son or daughter to be so healthy that it astounds the medical staff when he or she is born.
    jeebus, dude, please exhale. we all want you to have a healthy baby, but astounding the medical staff may involve birthing a 2-headed, 6-footer who speaks mandarin and latvian upon entering the world. those peeps have seen everything.

    don't stress your wife. just be supportive.
    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzylogic View Post
    Oh bullshit. Go to any parenting site, and you will find women crying and wondering what is wrong with them that they are still in pain, don't have enough milk, and can't manage to pump. Breastfeeding is wonderful when it works, but honestly doesn't always work. Way back when, when women died in childbirth, they also nursed each other's babies and fed them goats milk with a rag in a bottle. Formula was developed as a safer alternative to the milk that was already being fed to infants......not out of the clear blue sky.

    Bottlefeeding means that someone else can feed the baby, allowing mom to sleep and dad to participate in childrearing in the early days. It does, however, mean that mom loses her exclusive rights to feeding the baby---something that bothers quite a few people who want mom at home and without power.
    First of all, babies are supposed to be fed by one person, their mother. You know, since she's the one with the milk. Secondly, there are MANY things fathers can do to participate. Diapers, baths, playing with baby, holding baby. Feeding is not the only way to bond with a baby.

    Bottle-feeding is seemingly "easier" because nobody supports nursing women, and healthcare professionals are ignorant on human lactation and so they give poor advice.
    ~Sandy


  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosegin View Post

    Bottle-feeding is seemingly "easier" because nobody supports nursing women, and healthcare professionals are ignorant on human lactation and so they give poor advice.
    This. Is. True.
    I breastfed my child for four years. BUT the first three months I was reduced to tears daily by how difficult it was. Healthcare advice, while well meaning, was useless. The website kellymom was the only thing that kept me going. Bookmark that site for future reference just in case mum and bubs can't get it together to begin with.
    Good luck with the pregnancy and the birth, but remember parenting is a long-distance hurdles race and, honestly, you're only just getting out of the blocks: don't use up all your worry energy too soon; there will be other things to stress about!
    Last edited by badgergirl; 07-31-2012 at 03:03 AM. Reason: misattributed quote

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosegin View Post
    First of all, babies are supposed to be fed by one person, their mother. You know, since she's the one with the milk. Secondly, there are MANY things fathers can do to participate. Diapers, baths, playing with baby, holding baby. Feeding is not the only way to bond with a baby.

    Bottle-feeding is seemingly "easier" because nobody supports nursing women, and healthcare professionals are ignorant on human lactation and so they give poor advice.
    No. We have---surprise!---reached an age when both parents earn money and both parents care for children. There is absolutely nothing sacred about the act of pushing out an infant---children grow and thrive in single parent households, households with two fathers, households with two mothers, households with a grandparent. The push to have moms stay home and nurse infants is right up there with attachment parenting as another way to push the patriarchal agenda. Feeding is the most basic way to bond with an infant.

    The current attribution of all sorts of niftiness to the days when moms breastfed babies and we birthed them while subsistence farming cracks me up. Have you ever lived without running water? Or electricity? Yeah...you'd be sitting around making googoo faces at the babe. NOT.

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzylogic View Post
    No. We have---surprise!---reached an age when both parents earn money and both parents care for children. There is absolutely nothing sacred about the act of pushing out an infant---children grow and thrive in single parent households, households with two fathers, households with two mothers, households with a grandparent. The push to have moms stay home and nurse infants is right up there with attachment parenting as another way to push the patriarchal agenda. Feeding is the most basic way to bond with an infant.

    The current attribution of all sorts of niftiness to the days when moms breastfed babies and we birthed them while subsistence farming cracks me up. Have you ever lived without running water? Or electricity? Yeah...you'd be sitting around making googoo faces at the babe. NOT.
    You are assuming that the mother would have to give up breastfeeding to work. It doesn't have to work that way at all. I successfully breastfed both my children and worked. My husband spent lots of fulfilling time on his days off work being the sole carer for our kids, and would bring them to me at work when they needed to be fed, or I would go to them.

    Just because you choose to breastfeed doesn't make you some sort of crazed hippy who wants to live without electricity running water. You are very narrow minded if you think this is the case.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzylogic View Post
    No. We have---surprise!---reached an age when both parents earn money and both parents care for children. There is absolutely nothing sacred about the act of pushing out an infant
    I think it's really sad you don't think there's anything sacred about childbirth.

    But equating breastfeeding promotion and attachment parenting to facilitating patriarchal worldviews and male domination is SO second-wave feminism and that is done, baby, done. Catch up with the 90s, maybe. More modern feminists are more into SUPPORTING women to be women, whatever that means for them, but definitely including mothers in all their lactating, birthing glory. Claiming women are all happy to be slaving away at the same meaningless capital-generating jobs when they could be home nurturing life and love IS serving the patriarchy. I am essentially a housewife (I only do postpartum doula work part-time) - after having worked at a high-paying job for a huge multinational corporation and being offered the chance to go as high as I wanted. Guess where I'm happier and more fulfilled? If you truly WANT to work, that's fine - but society would be a whole lot more sustainable and happier if there were more supports for women (and men) who prefer to focus on domestic life.

    I don't get where the subsistence farming comes into it. I live in a modern city in a modern country, and through hard work and restrained living my family subsists nicely on my husband's income from software development. We planned from the start to have one of us at home for the duration of our offspring's childhood. Biology dictated that it was me for the first year. Sometimes, the universe puts constraints on you. Women go through nine months of pregnancy in varying degrees of discomfort and then we give birth. Then we breastfeed. It's just the way it works.

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