Need some recommendations for my wife's high risk pregnancy please page 3

[spughy]

As much as you're focusing on healthy your baby is in the womb, also consider educating yourself about breastfeeding. As important as delivering a healthy baby is nourishing a newborn. Again, your wife's diet does not have to be perfect, but breastmilk is the perfect food for your baby. It is as primal as it gets

YES. THIS. Absolutely educate YOURSELF about breastfeeding. I'm assuming you're in the US, and equally assuming with a high-risk pregnancy that you're headed for a hospital birth with an OB. This combination has a seriously crappy track record for successful breastfeeding outcomes. Your wife is likely NOT going to be in a fit state to advocate for herself and the baby in terms of best practices post-birth (immediate skin-to-skin contact, no separation of mom and babe, no supplementing, etc.) so it's up to you to do that. This, more than any coaching on maternal diet, would be the BEST thing you could do to ensure uber-healthy mom and baby! If you're into the sciencey stuff, Jack Newman's breastfeeding book (and website) is going to entertain and educate you more than sufficiently for the next 8 months or so!

[fuzzylogic]

oh hell. Stop bothering your wife. Breastfeeding is good, but also annoying, painful, time consuming, and contrary to what the uberboobers think, not always possible. Primal is fine, but so is regular food, especially when everything you eat, you puke. Trust me, meat and veggies are not fun on the return trip.

The recommended post-birth stuff is nice, but far from necessary: babies do fine regardless, and a bit of supplementation in the first few days won't doom the child from nursing for the next two years, if you want to. Having the babe go to the nursery so mom can sleep isn't the end of the world: mom is exhausted and rest is the very best solution.

[Saoirse]

I'm sorry fuzzylogic, I'm a little confused. You say "breastfeeding isn't always possible" and then you dismiss the advice given. If you had trouble breastfeeding, is it possible that you should've listened to that advice?

I *really* don't want to turn this into a breast vs. bottle debate. that can be done somewhere else. i'm just saying, if breastfeeding is the goal (and it should be; most of us can live on CW just like babies will live on formula but i think we're all trying to thrive for life), maybe it's wise to follow advice given by people who have breastfed multiple babies successfully.

[spughy]

maybe it's wise to follow advice given by people who have breastfed multiple babies successfully.

And who help families post-partum for a living.

I'm a post-partum doula - I help *families*, not just moms and babies, and I get a LOT of dads who want to help and are unsure of how they can. I also see a lot of dads who felt just as helpless as the moms with situations in the hospital who, in retrospect, wished that they were more informed so they could have been better advocates. It's not always an adversarial situation - in fact, frequently breastfeeding sabotage is the result of extremely kind, well-intentioned staff trying to do things to make the mom more comfortable. But dads can often take the brunt of that discomfort in order to facilitate early breastfeeding - staying with the baby, holding it and bringing it to the mom IMMEDIATELY when it needs to feed, not when a nurse can get around to it, which may be a half hour or more after the baby starts showing signs of hunger. Dads can be the heroes right after birth if they know what to do. This guy sounds like he wants to be involved and helpful, don't discount his possible contributions.

[fuzzylogic]

I'm sorry fuzzylogic, I'm a little confused. You say "breastfeeding isn't always possible" and then you dismiss the advice given. If you had trouble breastfeeding, is it possible that you should've listened to that advice?

I *really* don't want to turn this into a breast vs. bottle debate. that can be done somewhere else. i'm just saying, if breastfeeding is the goal (and it should be; most of us can live on CW just like babies will live on formula but i think we're all trying to thrive for life), maybe it's wise to follow advice given by people who have breastfed multiple babies successfully.

I have nursed three babies successfully. I've also watched as a number of my younger friends sacrifice themselves on the "holy altar of breastfeeding" through failure to thrive, multiple episodes of mastitis, cracked and bleeding nipples, and a total inability to accomplish anything else thanks to the current advice on breastfeeding. One has a toddler who is left to the television and her own devices as her mother puts the infant to the breast every time it whimpers---poor skinny baby---and another is on her fifth round of mastitis in 5 months.

Seriously, it usually works.....but when it doesn't, it might be time to consider several items:

1. Any lactation consultant has a financial interest in keeping you attempting to nurse. Everyone is so quick to point out the financial interest of the formula companies----but what about the rest?

2. Nursing while working is often difficult or impossible. My daughter is a Marine, and is luck enough to be given a year to switch from her hazmat-exposure job to a desk job. Most companies wouldn't do that. Frequently, even though you have to be given time to pump, it is your lunch break. Many companies/jobs don't support pumping multiple times a day. Pumping doesn't work for many women.

3. And some women are not comfortable with the amount of exposure/physical contact/relinquishment of bodily control. It is a legitimate issue, since there is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

[avocadogirl]

It's true that there are often obstacles for women to successfully breastfeed their babies, mostly in place due to cultural and societal rules whether internal or external. It doesn't mean it can't be done. I won't toot my own horn about nursing two big, healthy baby boys despite having rheumatoid arthritis, Raynaud's and every nipple issue in the book. Nursing wasn't easy for me, but it was worth it. Like so many things in life, making the right choices are not necessarily easy.

And you're right, some women just aren't comfortable with it. Fine.

But I will stand up and say that formula is not "a perfectly acceptable alternative."

That's like saying donuts fortified with some vitamins is a perfectly acceptable alternative to eating vegetables and meat. Hey, you're getting the same nutrients. Formula is not real food. End of story. Certainly, sometimes it is necessary to either bottle feed or supplement. I think moms do what they can given their individual situations. But if we are talking about what is best, in a forum and website dedicated to real food and away from processed junk and conventional thinking, there's no argument that breast is best.

[Saoirse]

Seriously, it usually works.....but when it doesn't, it might be time to consider several items:

1. Any lactation consultant has a financial interest in keeping you attempting to nurse. Everyone is so quick to point out the financial interest of the formula companies----but what about the rest?

what?!? i don't know about the LCs where you are, but the LCs here are paid by the hospital. I've gone to LCs quite a few times and never paid a cent (neither did my insurance). For my last two babies, I didn't even birth at the hospitals where I saw the LCs, and they knew it.


your other two points are good points, but they're not roadblocks. i don't like to be touched, and even after 8 years of solid nursing, the idea is still kind of weird to me. but i do it, and it doesn't bother me. it just seems weird, that's all.

[onalark]

Why is her pregnancy high-risk?

I'm with EyeOfRound. Why is her pregnancy high-risk?

[spughy]

1. Any lactation consultant has a financial interest in keeping you attempting to nurse. Everyone is so quick to point out the financial interest of the formula companies----but what about the rest?

2. Nursing while working is often difficult or impossible. My daughter is a Marine, and is luck enough to be given a year to switch from her hazmat-exposure job to a desk job. Most companies wouldn't do that. Frequently, even though you have to be given time to pump, it is your lunch break. Many companies/jobs don't support pumping multiple times a day. Pumping doesn't work for many women.

3. And some women are not comfortable with the amount of exposure/physical contact/relinquishment of bodily control. It is a legitimate issue, since there is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

These aren't issues with breastfeeding - they're issues that YOUR COUNTRY has with supporting mothers and babies. Rather than using these points to discourage breastfeeding, how about you put your typing skills to work, reformat that a little bit and send it to any elected representative you can find?

Here, we don't pay for (most) lactation consultants (there are a few private ones), and in our town, many of the public health nurses are IBCLC-certified and awesome to boot. We get a year's maternity leave subsidized (not entirely paid, but it's usually enough) by the government so nursing while working isn't usually an issue. And let's not even get started on how messed up Western culture is with respect to women's bodies. This isn't one that is as easily fixed, but the more women who breastfeed in public, the better off EVERYONE will be and the less likely women will be to equate the exposure and touching of a normal biological function to something icky so for God's sake stop trying to discourage people!!!!

And yeah, I agree with avocadogirl - why are you even ON this forum if you think formula is an acceptable substitute for breastmilk? It's like saying drugs are an acceptable way of controlling heart disease and type 2 diabetes - don't bother with the hassle of changing your diet or lifestyle - Big Pharma can take care of that for you. Never mind with the hassle of breastfeeding, Big Pharma can take care of THAT for you too. Pfft.

[Rosegin]

oh hell. Stop bothering your wife. Breastfeeding is good, but also annoying, painful, time consuming, and contrary to what the uberboobers think, not always possible. Primal is fine, but so is regular food, especially when everything you eat, you puke. Trust me, meat and veggies are not fun on the return trip.

The recommended post-birth stuff is nice, but far from necessary: babies do fine regardless, and a bit of supplementation in the first few days won't doom the child from nursing for the next two years, if you want to. Having the babe go to the nursery so mom can sleep isn't the end of the world: mom is exhausted and rest is the very best solution.

Breastfeeding is not any of those things. Bottle-feeding takes at least twice as long as breastfeeding, and breastfeeding isn't at all annoying. Contrary to popular belief, nearly EVERY woman can breastfeed. It is only a very, very small percentage of women who cannot. In most cases of women who "can't" it's because some idiot gave them poor information.