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Thread: Georgette Redux: A new primal journal page 95

  1. #941
    jenn26point2's Avatar
    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Well, to give a touch of perspective...

    You're a man. You work hard to provide for your family like a man should. Shit goes wrong. You have to declare bankruptcy. You feel like a failure as a man, but you struggle through and think it is all going to work out. You are going to put $400 more towards it. You feel good as you are being a good man and taking care of problems and your family. You have a nice evening with your wife planned for her birthday. Suddenly, you find out that things are not taken care of, you are at risk of losing your house, basically you fail as a man. You feel like absolute shit. Luckily, it is your wife's birthday so maybe you can salvage one little part of being a man by taking care of your wife on this one day. Suddenly it is all over facebook how your wife has the worst birthday ever, never wants to celebrate another one, and basically her life if ruined. Suddenly the little hope you had left is gone. Now you are a public failure as a man and a husband. So yeah, he is probably not feeling great right now.

    Not that you are either, but there is the dude's perspective. Telling him you love him will help more than you can imagine.
    ^w0rd

    This is exactly how Brad would react to it.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 182 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  2. #942
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    geostump is online now Senior Member
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    I never said anything about what it was about on FBI. The original reason we filed bankruptcy was due to me losing the job with Morgan Stanley and almost losing the house from it. So yes, essentially, it is my fault.
    Georgette

  3. #943
    ssn679doc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Well, to give a touch of perspective...

    You're a man. You work hard to provide for your family like a man should. Shit goes wrong. You have to declare bankruptcy. You feel like a failure as a man, but you struggle through and think it is all going to work out. You are going to put $400 more towards it. You feel good as you are being a good man and taking care of problems and your family. You have a nice evening with your wife planned for her birthday. Suddenly, you find out that things are not taken care of, you are at risk of losing your house, basically you fail as a man. You feel like absolute shit. Luckily, it is your wife's birthday so maybe you can salvage one little part of being a man by taking care of your wife on this one day. Suddenly it is all over facebook how your wife has the worst birthday ever, never wants to celebrate another one, and basically her life if ruined. Suddenly the little hope you had left is gone. Now you are a public failure as a man and a husband. So yeah, he is probably not feeling great right now.

    Not that you are either, but there is the dude's perspective. Telling him you love him will help more than you can imagine.
    Not that my opinion was asked for... but that's never stopped me before... Canio is right.... speaking as a male of the species... and an Alpha male, at that....
    As far as telling him you love him, that is the right move as well, provided that under all the hurt feelings you still do.... Nothing sets my BS alarm off faster and louder than, well being BS'd....
    If you appologize, be sincere. If you tell him you love him, again, be sincere. Lying to a guy that has hurt feelings will harden him faster that anything. (yes, guys have feelings... whoda thunk!)
    If you need to simmer down a day or two, thats fine, but don't wait too long, because that sends a message as well.... and it will come through loud and clear.
    OK... I'll gets offa my soap box and quit the preachin...

  4. #944
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    Our MDA men are so smart. Thanks for the male perspective guys.

  5. #945
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    Our MDA men are so smart. Thanks for the male perspective guys.
    Hey, even a broke clock is right twice a day.....

  6. #946
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I still fail to see how it's your fault. A marriage is a team. Equally yoked, to use the Christian metaphor. Even if you did get fucked over by a company, that doesn't make it your fault. If you had chosen to leave, it would've been, yes. But getting fucked over by a shithead company doesn't make things your fault.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #947
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I still fail to see how it's your fault. A marriage is a team. Equally yoked, to use the Christian metaphor. Even if you did get fucked over by a company, that doesn't make it your fault. If you had chosen to leave, it would've been, yes. But getting fucked over by a shithead company doesn't make things your fault.
    This. I also seriously doubt that you made all the financial decisions leading up to that by yourself as well, and if you did, then shame on him for not manning up and saying something. Bankruptcy is very rarely the result of ONLY losing a job.
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  8. #948
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    I'm pretty sure Stumpy did not tell Geo it was her fault. Am I right?

  9. #949
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I wasn't laying blame, only trying to stop that train of thought. Blame gets you nowhere, especially when there's no fix immediately at hand.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #950
    canio6's Avatar
    canio6 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I wasn't laying blame, only trying to stop that train of thought. Blame gets you nowhere, especially when there's no fix immediately at hand.
    Very true

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