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Thread: Georgette Redux: A new primal journal page 32

  1. #311
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    Yeah, I'm eating potatoes daily. Typically at dinner. I don't get the crazy cravings like I got in the very beginning of going primal. I'm also eating 1-2 squares of dark chocolate daily as well.

    I'm thinking body composition wise, I am close to where I was in high school, but curvier. I really think that I've had issues with dairy all my life. It would make sense as my dad was lactose intolerant.


    Close to high school but curvier sounds pretty freaking awesome. I doubt there are many women that would turn that down. Go Geo with your bad self!
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  2. #312
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    Woot! Yeah I thought I was huge in HS at 190. I would love to be back there now.
    Paula Primal since 9/24/2010
    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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  3. #313
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    I would honestly rather not see my high school weight again. I was 5'2" and around 100- 105 lb. I was skin and bones with no curves. Not for lack of eating: my metabolism was sky high until ym thyroid went apeshit in college.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  4. #314
    canio6's Avatar
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    Well, I was 180 pounds and 'fat' in high school. 180 pounds sound pretty good right now though.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  5. #315
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    I was too skinny. I'm liking the figure I seem to be developing now.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  6. #316
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    I don't think I'll ever see HS weight again, but I would freak to be within 50 pounds!

  7. #317
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    High school was 1994 and I weighed I think 150-160. I think that weight is fairly attainable, will just look a hell of a lot different on me. Clint thinks my body is closer to where it was when we met. Showing different progress. Monday, I plan on starting to workout. I think taking 2-3 weeks and keying in on food was a good thing for me to do. My goal is to get out of bed at 6AM and do my workout. Will be interesting to see how this goes.

    Been reading more of the book on manipulation. It's been an eye opener to say the least. I fall into the "loss of self" and "emotophobe" categories meaning that those who have manipulated me in the past have helped me to lose my personality in a sense and that I am scared to show negative emotions around others. I also do have a fear of being alone which ties in with this. It hurts so much to know that this was done by people who are/were supposed to love me. I'm to the point now, that when people try to manipulate me, I just stop having anything to do with them. What's ironic, when I look back, I see where this has happened to me in other aspects of my life. I'll use this for an example. Last night, while I was in bed, almost asleep, Clint asks me to make him a peanut butter sandwich. I told him no, I'm in bed, comfortable and if he wants one bad enough, he can get himself out of bed to make it. He started begging me to and I wouldn't. So in retaliation, he wouldn't touch me at all and wouldn't let me touch him. The sad part of reading the book is that it says I shouldn't expect the manipulator to change, that I have to change. Guess I'm working on that part of the road. Wondering where it will take me...
    Georgette

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    FYI, I am off dairy (and artificial sweeteners) as of today so I feel your pain.
    Paula Primal since 9/24/2010
    "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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  9. #319
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    FYI, I am off dairy (and artificial sweeteners) as of today so I feel your pain.
    Good luck!
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  10. #320
    Kymma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    The sad part of reading the book is that it says I shouldn't expect the manipulator to change, that I have to change. Guess I'm working on that part of the road. Wondering where it will take me...
    Just to relate my experience, take it as you will, I am an overfunctioner, who created an underfunctioner. And I was PISSED when I realized that once again I had to lead the change, that I had to do the work that would allow the other person to stop underfunctioning. It just seemed so unfair. But IU had to come to terms with taking the responsibility for my part in creating or allowing certain things into my life. Not 100%, but even if it was only 2%, that was my part. Once I did that, I felt empowered and the anger fell away. I stopped overfunctioning, I didn't point it out, or talk about it. If called out on not making dinner (or whatever), I calmly explained that I was putting self care first and I needed rest and that there was plenty to eat in the fridge. I didn't get mad, I didn't ever mention the overfunctioning until over a year later. I just took care of myself and set forth my boundaries.

    Self realization and care seem so intolerable at first. But over time, the changes that I reaped were worth all the anger. Expectations on me as the primary caretaker of all things house no longer exist. We split more chores than ever before. We also have increased our communication in a healthy and playful way. And I no longer think of leaving all the time to be alone and not responsible for everything. Now I get to be happy and in a good marriage. All because I changed what I could and set all of us free!

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