Having dealt with a friend with BPD, I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone with it. If you're abused in any way then it's time to get out. 8 years is a long time, but if you haven't made any headway in the respect department then you should get out. I can imagine it's pretty scary (I've been with my husband for almost 10 years and the idea of something like that happening frightens me) but you said it yourself, you cannot save the world. You need to think about yourself, your life, and it's a good sign that you're here. That means you are trying to improve your life. If she's actively holding you back.. How long can you live your life for someone else?
Treat yourself to some space for reflection, say a weekend getaway to Sarasota, Florida?
My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com
Our body is our subconscious mind, and anybody who thinks that their conscious mind is running the show is seriously mistaken. In fact the conscious mind just may be the most narcissistic entity in the universe, it thinks it's running the show. It's not.
~ Nora Gegaudas
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing... -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." ~Vicktor Frankl
And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.
Either way, doesn't matter, she could be a saint, he's not happy, get out.
SERIOUSLY if you dislike your relationship, get the fack out before you have kids
my primal journal: