living with woman with Borderline Personality Disorder; I am an abused guy page 6

[sbhikes]

He's weak if he's come on this forum twice to bitch and moan about being abused by his borderline girlfriend. He's asked us for advice and not taken any action. If his action was to stay because he loves her, then his weakness is coming here to bitch and moan. Not only that but to come on here and tell just about every freaking person how awesome it is to be strong, that being strong is good and being weak is bad and then turning out to be pretty emotionally weak. By the way, I have PLENTY to bitch and moan about regarding my passive-aggressive boyfriend but I stay with him because I choose to and love him and hence no need to tell the world I'm abused. By the way, in case this is useful information, one way I deal with it is to take separate vacations.

[Zanna]

I'm guessing your passive aggressive boyfriend has nothing on his BPD girlfriend. One is just annoying, the other is a scorched earth nightmare. Not everyone gets out the 1st time they complain and he'd be smart to listen to all of the advice re: protecting his online info by changing passwords and safeguarding all of his belongings. I was married to someone like that and the only way I got out was to plan an escape that took months to make sure it was clean and he couldn't do anything to stop it. It's really not easy.

Of course, now I have the passive aggressive SO - what he does is almost cute compared to my ex.

[bionicsamm]

Somebody is weak because they speak of their issues instead of keeping them quiet and suffering in silence? Is it because it's the internet that it bothers you? Sometimes it's good to get perspective from online instead of people who are too close to the situation.

Just because you find suffering in silence and putting up with a crappy relationship right for you doesn't mean someone else needs to cope the same way.

I'm not foreign to staying in less than ideal relationships. If I didn't have kids, I wouldn't be married still. I made a choice to stay for my children, no matter how crappy of a husband I have, he's an awesome Dad. Some days, it would be nice to have someone to vent to, who doesn't think that a great Dad should be enough.

And seriously, BPD adds so many complications, batshit crazy is super hard to cope with and generally some of the crazy rubs off

[Primal Pamme]

Hubby's xW has BPD and my advice is to get out and DO NOT have children with her. I got with DH while he was trying to get a divorce from her which she was stalling on even though she had left him for another man. I saw what she did to their daughter who was smart enough to stay with her Dad. If DH didn't give her what she wanted, she made SD pay and vice versa. It was sick. SD is now an adult and is still incredibly messed up, because of her mother.

Get the book "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" and visit the very helpful sites devoted to this personality disorder.

Looking back on his first marriage, DH knows exactly how and when he messed up. His first mistake was not calling the police the first time she threatened suicide and then not getting a divorce with supervised visitation the time she grabbed the steering wheel while he was driving and SD was in the back seat. Get out while you can, while you are still alive and there are no children, but do it carefully. You know her better than anyone, don't be afraid to use that to get out and to keep yourself safe.

[keithpowers]

i can't save the world.

when i met her, i was weak and she was weak. now, i am strong but she is weak.

i can't save the world people.

i want YOU to tell me that it's okay to turn my back on this shit and never look back.

Uh, this is the part where you tell her to fuck off, and leech someone else's happiness.

[kenn]

Dado, you will stick with her because that whats you want to do deep down, whether that is the best thing for you or not doesn't seem to matter to you.

[bionicsamm]

Hell has frozen over. Kenn said something that makes sense

[tomi]

So - I've read 5 pages of comments - and it seems Dado has disappeared.

[kenn]

Hell has frozen over. Kenn said something that makes sense

haha

So - I've read 5 pages of comments - and it seems Dado has disappeared.

You're doing it wrong

[quelsen]

Kenn FTW