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Thread: living with woman with Borderline Personality Disorder; I am an abused guy page 2

  1. #11
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex Good View Post
    I find being mean right back actually makes the whole being near a bitch thing fun. Just play some mind games of your own.

    Don't actually start anything though. Just play the game better.
    bad advice. you do not want to do this to a person with BPD, they will mentally f*** you up.

    dado, if you're married you should start consulting a lawyer because you're probably going to get screwed. keep everything a secret until you're out. there's a lot of info out there about how to extricate yourself from abusive relationships, look into it but cover your tracks. if you're not married, take your name off of shared accounts, take your stuff, and get out.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex Good View Post
    I find being mean right back actually makes the whole being near a bitch thing fun. Just play some mind games of your own.

    Don't actually start anything though. Just play the game better.
    AACCKK!!! BAD idea.... do not do this with a borderline! They will lose their sh** and it can become violent very quickly! (I do agree that with a normal, run of the mill bitch, it's highly entertaining, though).

    Just leave. You have to. Life is too short, you are not doing each other any good, and you deserve to make yourself happy. And to find someone else who is happy too.

  3. #13
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    Like the others, I too will suggest GTFO and working on minimizing the fallout (divorce lawyer, if applicable, and probably some counseling, since it isn't your fault).

  4. #14
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    just remember that most divorce lawyers are out to make money. they are not your friend.

  5. #15
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    And this has what to do with nutrition?

    Dude, there's three sides to every story. Take accountability for your part in this, have a discussion and move forward with you life. Why are you asking a forum of strangers on what you should do?
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louisa655 View Post
    And this has what to do with nutrition?

    Dude, there's three sides to every story. Take accountability for your part in this, have a discussion and move forward with you life. Why are you asking a forum of strangers on what you should do?
    WTF?

    BPD is arguable the hardest mental disorder to deal with.

    If you don't want to be helpful, go away.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louisa655 View Post
    And this has what to do with nutrition?

    Dude, there's three sides to every story. Take accountability for your part in this, have a discussion and move forward with you life. Why are you asking a forum of strangers on what you should do?
    Why are you inferring that primal is purely about nutrition?
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by patski View Post
    Yes, he is. Turning your back on someone of 8 years is scary shit.

    Dado, get some help and GTFO!
    Yes it is, particularly with someone with any kind of serious personality disorder - even borderline.

    *shrUg*

    But I will never understand why anyone would come to internet people for something like this. Not strong. A wee bit stupid, IMO. Walking away from someone like that requires the help of meatworld friends and family, people who can physically be there if/when things go south.

    I don't care how tight the community you're involved in is. If it's out on the web it's not enough help. If you need their approval to do something that plainly desperately needs doing, sorry I don't view that as a *strength* . . . nor do I much believe in coddling people.

    For the record, Dado, having been in a 3 year relationship with a sometimes abusive bipolar woman with DID, I agree with all the people who are hollering GTFO. I don't even want to think how that would've ended for me without the very real intervention of a multi-year prison sentence. So have a plan and a system of support - as in people from your life (and maybe even hers) to run interference, whatever sort you might require (place to stay, intermediaries, whatever, you didn't give us enough info to call that part for you - but have it in place ahead of time and choose people you trust - ie - who won't tell her ahead of time).
    Last edited by brahnamin; 07-16-2012 at 02:48 PM. Reason: To replace MPD with the more proper DID

  9. #19
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    Hey, does it matter whether someone is "strong" or not? BPD is tough to deal with, as is leaving an abusive relationship for some regardless of their physical, mental, psychic or financial strength. Hugs, Dado, and I hope that you can get some support on the ground, as others have suggested. As you know from living with someone with this disorder, your leaving is going to trigger all your partner's abandonment fears and some ugliness will ensue. Support is going to be key for getting through that.

  10. #20
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    Are you married to her?

    If you're not, get out. Bail now. Just DON'T get yourself into any other relationships until you figure what made you think that was okay to begin with or you'll end up in a relationship with the same woman, just with a different face, or the polar opposite kind of dysfunction. Trust me on this one. BTDT.

    If you're married, talk to an attorney and start documenting "odd" stuff she does, abuse, etc.

    Oh, and change ALL of your passwords just before you leave, including email accounts. Pissed off people do some shit you'll still be trying to fix years later.
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