Aside from the odd Twinkie and daily Oatmeal Creme Pie, I was fairly healthy pre-primal, thanks to a sensitivity to cottonseed oil. On the other hand, chocolate pudding pie was a regular appearance in my childhood (crisco pie crust, Jello chocolate pudding, and cool whip.) For meals, it had to be lunch in HS: a can of dr. pepper, an oatmeal cream pie, a bag of flaming hot cheetos (before I realized it had cottonseed oil in it), a tupperware of leftovers (spag, pad thai, stir fry, or anything else in the fridge) or a sammich [wheat bread, lunch meat (the paper thin el cheapo stuff, Buddig), cheese (not American), and veggies if I could find them in the fridge, no condiments], and maybe a piece of fruit.
Or possibly my favorite college food: El cheapo ramen (I was too poor for Maruchan) with sauce packet and flaming hot cheetos in it, washed down with a (you guessed it) Dr. Pepper.
After primal... I won't lie, I've eaten all that shit while I've been primal. But the worst offender post primal was something I can only describe as a vegan horror. I went to an ex friend's house for dinner one night, not realizing she was vegan (what? we never ate together and I didn't think to ask.) Vegan "pizza." Crust made with butter substitute, vegan tomato sauce (which wasn't that bad), vegan "cheese", and 3 varieties of faux meat on top, washed down with a DP. *HURK* Not a veggie or meat to be found. 15 minutes later, I had the migraine from hell because EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMMED. THING on that pizza had hydrogenated cottonseed oil in the top half of the ingredients list. I was NOT happy.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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I could eat a a big bag of Doritos with Cream Cheese as a dip, the batter of those pillsbury cake mixes even though the box said 'not to eat raw lol. Oh! and the same with Aunt Jemima's pancake batter. Errrrmm... I could make a meal out of subway cookies Macadamias, Oatmeal and the chocolate on chocolate with chocolate fudge ones. I could list a bunch more but I think those are the worst ones.
I was trying to think of the least primal thing and wasn't hitting on anything in particular until someone mentioned oatmeal cream pies. My old roommates and I used to buy a bag of assorted Little Debbie snack cakes and a 40 of malt liquor each to wash them down. Good times.
Deep fried cake batter (fried in shortening)
Dipped in sugar glaze
Topped with about 4 tbsp of brown sugar pellets (look like hamster pellets)
And covered in powdered sugar
Course that's a staple from the 50's
In the new millennium the county fair can't be bothered with just plying us with spun sugar and caramel apples. Now there's fried Coke.
Hrm. Maybe that slice of fortune cookie topped pizza *wasn't* the unprimalest thing ever.
Aside from the already stated donuts and oatmeal cream pies and funnel cake, I ate Doritos, the best chip in the world!! I also used to eat mayo sandwiches (made with soybean oil) on iron kids white bread.
Don't let anybody tell you, "You can't" just because they can't.
As a kid, it would have to be either screws or cellotape.
Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.
Griff's cholesterol primer
5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
bloodorchid is always right
Pre-primal would be the massive amount of soy in my diet, soy milk, cheese, tofu, "textured vegetable protein" patties, sausages, etc.
Post-primal got totally hammered on champagne at a friend's birthday and had some carrot cake. And I'd do it again.