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Thread: Having a VERY difficult time with the kids - help! page 2

  1. #11
    jammies's Avatar
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    I would probably try to make the transition a bit more gentle. Could you try something closer to Weston A Price style eating for a bit? That way you can still offer foods that are a bit familiar to them that way without buying a serving junk?

    And I agree with the rules that things must at least be tasted at each meal.
    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

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  2. #12
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    Jammies: that is what I was thinking of...I made chicken tenders tonight with chicken dipped in pastured egg and coconut flour. Niether child ate a bite. My 2 year old son ate a whole tomato and my 4 year old daughter ate a banana and a cheese stick. I thought the tenders were awesome. I am going to try apples with fresh almond or cashew butter next as a snack. My daughter will sometimes take a bite and sometimes wont. It is hard to MAKE a 2 year old do anything, but the 2 year old has been naturally willing to eat more than the 4 year old. Lots of things are going to change for us...I hate for everything to change all at once. I'll just make sure that there is raw cheese, fruit, veggies and raw milk in the house and chicken and we'll see what happens.

    Maybe we should create a thread called: How I got my picky kids to eat primal.
    It's just another day in paradise
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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
    Maybe we should create a thread called: How I got my picky kids to eat primal.
    I think there have been several of those on here.
    Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

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  4. #14
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    Thanks Magicmerl...did a search and found some great ideas. the whole transition has me worried, but totally changing the way they are used to eating is causing me a lot of stress. I am such an emotional eater, that the idea of taking away food that makes them "happy" hits close to home. I have just come to the unavoidable conclusion that if SAD is bad for them, then they just shouldnt eat it. (Except when they visit their dad...cause my soon to be ex husband thinks the whole paleo/primal WOE is silly. I am sure they'll come back from his house sick and wired on wheat and sugar. I am sure I'll vent about that on my journal from time to time...)
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  5. #15
    jammies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
    Thanks Magicmerl...did a search and found some great ideas. the whole transition has me worried, but totally changing the way they are used to eating is causing me a lot of stress. I am such an emotional eater, that the idea of taking away food that makes them "happy" hits close to home. I have just come to the unavoidable conclusion that if SAD is bad for them, then they just shouldnt eat it. (Except when they visit their dad...cause my soon to be ex husband thinks the whole paleo/primal WOE is silly. I am sure they'll come back from his house sick and wired on wheat and sugar. I am sure I'll vent about that on my journal from time to time...)
    I agree that a junk food diet is not the right option. But being too militant about things can really leave kids with emotional/food issues later on. My nephews love to eat the foods they help prepare. They also love to get to make their own choices about things so I often make a few things and let them choose.

    Do you have the nourishing traditions cookbook? So much of that food is really fantastic and I honestly would have no problems feeding most of that food to my (hypothetical )kids.
    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

    http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
    Thanks Magicmerl...did a search and found some great ideas. the whole transition has me worried, but totally changing the way they are used to eating is causing me a lot of stress. I am such an emotional eater, that the idea of taking away food that makes them "happy" hits close to home. I have just come to the unavoidable conclusion that if SAD is bad for them, then they just shouldnt eat it. (Except when they visit their dad...cause my soon to be ex husband thinks the whole paleo/primal WOE is silly. I am sure they'll come back from his house sick and wired on wheat and sugar. I am sure I'll vent about that on my journal from time to time...)
    Hi Periwinkle!

    I can really commiserate. I was in the position of telling one daughter that she was a dairy-allergic celiac, and also simply taking another daughter's diet and removing a crapload of favorite foods because she had to go SCD and since she is developmentally delayed was in no position to understand the sudden changes. I just really wanted to tell you this: it will be okay. And that you aren't taking stuff away - you are replacing it with something better. If you yourself truly believe this, it will sink in with the kids, and new food favorites and new food traditions will take the place of the old.

    At this point, the celiac manages her diet exceedingly well and no longer feels sorry for herself. And even the special-needs one gets the connection between food and stinky farts and diarrhea and poopy pants.

  7. #17
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    Thank you all tremendously for the great posts here! I need to come back and re-read them all to really take advantage of the advice given.

    The "I am the parent" bit is so true but also hard sometimes when it's 3 against 1. But I'm holding my ground better this time around. Honestly, they weren't eating terribly before but there was more processed food than I could in good conscience handle. They had what I call "kid food" ie chicken nuggets, fish sticks, pizzas mixed in with cooked meats and veggie meals - this means I cooked one meal for me and dh and then threw in these extras so they would have something to eat. I know, I know....so wrong! Unfortunately, I'm still playing short-order cook fixing two, three, sometimes four differnent plates a night for dinner. And I know this has to stop too if for no other reason than it's going to kill me eventually.

    I would ideally like to keep things as simple as I can. I'm not a big fan of trying to create substitutes to processed foods or trying to make baked goods primally. This could be simple laziness on my part but whatever. I just like trying to enjoy real food in it's true form with some good cooking. Ex. Dinner tonight for me and dh was baked chicken in a seasoned butter sauce with sauteed broccoli and fresh squash. Delicious! Kids wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

    Gardening: we've had one for the last 3-4 years. DH and I love it. Kids have a blast prepping the ground, planting, and gathering. But no eating. Except for the romaine this year. They would nibble pieces they would pluck as they passed by. But that's it. So the grow it - eat it trick bombed here. :P We have done u-picks for strawberries and blueberries and yes, those are favorites.

    Supplements: I did finally find a multi that everyone would take and also bought the Barleans Omega-3 liquids in the flavors. So far they are being complient with these so plus there!

    Someone mentioned leaving some grains in. For us, if it's in the house it's fair game for a battle. I literally hide the dh's loaf of bread at the top back corner of the pantry. But I also agree on the gentle approach so I had thought of letting one day a week be sort of a freebie day (within reason). I have also bought plain rice cakes to help them transition. My 8 yo eats deli turkey sandwiched in them right now. He's big on sandwiches and things that have crunch. And I do allow them a small helping of baking dark chocolate chips after lunch several times a week. I allow whatever dairy they want. The 8 yo only does milk. The 6 yo does milk, yogurt, and cheese. The 3 yo does none of it.

    I like the "take a real bite" rule. And the "as you get older and more mature...." statement is golden! I tell my 3 yo he needs to eat his "grow food" so he'll get bigger. Sometimes that will win another bit of something.

    After reading all these answers I think what I need to remember most is to 1) cook one meal only - this will be tough. I wouldn't doubt some of you out there will hear the whining coming from this house. 2) stick to my guns about all this. I teach and tell them all the time about what is food and what isn't. I point out the junk and emphasize the goodness of whole foods. And yes, I too, am told how mean and unfair I am and am threatened with "..then I'm not going to eat til there's food I like."

    They do like to help cook but it's usually short-lived and like the garden thing they still don't eat it. sigh...

    But I'm gonna keep trying. You all have reassured me that I'm not permanently damaging them and that I'm not really a mean mom even if they think so. And truly, I don't mind if on occassion they have some junk - they should have their 20% here and there too, right? Heck, I'm planning on taking them to the movies soon for the first time so I figure I'd let them have the whole experience.

    You all have given me some great ideas and encouragement! Thanks again!

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by jammies View Post
    I would probably try to make the transition a bit more gentle. Could you try something closer to Weston A Price style eating for a bit? That way you can still offer foods that are a bit familiar to them that way without buying a serving junk?

    And I agree with the rules that things must at least be tasted at each meal.
    Quote Originally Posted by jammies View Post
    I agree that a junk food diet is not the right option. But being too militant about things can really leave kids with emotional/food issues later on. My nephews love to eat the foods they help prepare. They also love to get to make their own choices about things so I often make a few things and let them choose.

    Do you have the nourishing traditions cookbook? So much of that food is really fantastic and I honestly would have no problems feeding most of that food to my (hypothetical )kids.

    Jammies is right. WAP style is probably better for now and I'd recommend you buy the Nourishing Traditions cookbook. Also, don't force your kids to eat certain foods. Nobody should be forced to eat something they don't want to. By doing that you'd also be discouraging free thinking, which I know I wouldn't want to do if I were a parent. Just buy healthy foods for the house and tell them if they want something else, they can come along to the grocery store and buy it with their personal money. (be warned this may lead to complaints about the size or lack thereof allowance)

    Also, look into ways of making certain foods taste good. That way, they'll probably eat more of it. Frozen (or grilled and panfried yumyumyum) bananas and frozen grapes. Sauteed apples. Make white rice and sorghum crackers with cream cheese. Homemade chips with salsa and guacamole. Cheesy broccoli. Bring them to the grocery store. Go to a good part of the store. Tell them to pick out some items. Then eliminate the not-so-healthy items and buy the rest.

    Humans are very adaptable, especially kids. People can eat just fruit and they'll survive. They can eat just meat and be healthy. They can eat just chicken mcnuggets and they'll be okay. They can eat just bread with margarine and fat free strawberry yogurt and they'll live. It's more about what you don't eat than what you do. (obviously the second two examples are of foods people shouldn't be eating) As long as they're eating enough, I wouldn't worry if they aren't eating many vegetables.

  9. #19
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    Hey Alydar

    Just one last thought about the gardens and cooking and all that... It won't work quickly. It is a lot like choosing good books - the best way is to grow up with it, and let the influence and lessons sink in bit by bit.

    As for the mean mommy thing... Hell Yes! I am a card-carrying member of the Mean Mommy Club! And wanna' know what - I love it. For all their techie sophistication and stuff today, kids still depend on us to make the tough calls and be the proverbial immovable object. I do not advocate real meanness in dealings with kids, but when mine ACCUSE me of meanness, it tells me I'm doing my job. You'll do great!

  10. #20
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    You also don't want to make a big deal about this stuff, ok? It's a fine line between wanting to do the right thing and being a total control freak whose kids are going to eat nothing but garbage at every sleepover to come. I've had kids who come into my house and play Mario Kart the ENTIRE time they are here because they're forbidden to play video games at home. And you can see how Munchausen by Proxy people would really groove on this- "you can't have bread because you're allergic". And the try one bite rule? I did that for a while until my (now 22 year old) second son threw up across the table. My fourth stayed at a friend's house with a mouthful of chicken in his mouth for two hours because he was afraid to swallow it and embarrassed to spit it out! Lol, that's actually a funny story around here. They are all omnivores now! They eat sushi and crazy shit....

    So just keep serving the stuff you know they like. Eventually they will get bored with it and want to try other stuff. Make no comment about it. Apples and carrots and hamburgers. Next day: hamburgers, carrots and apples. Get the garbage food out of the house. When they start trolling for food they're going to bump up against pears, peppers and meatloaf and they'll try it, believe me. Wheat sucks but Cheerios never killed a 3 year old. Getting crazy over every morsel will create a kiddie bingeing problem, believe me. And freaking out because your kid ate a bunch of cupcakes somewhere is NOT the way to choose your battles.

    I have five kids, 14-28. It's not easy but when you look back it should be with laughter 99.9% of the time. War zones are no place to live. Teach by example with the food issue, forget about even talking about it for months now, and get the garbage out of the house.

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