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Thread: The Perils of Periwinkle Pitstop page 4

  1. #31
    Betorq's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Hey,

    I think its a great idea to just focus on healing & not even look at or concern yourself with weight loss. It sounds like you have a lot of physical, hormonal & emotional work in store for yourself, which is a good thing. Eyes wide open. You're clear about your path, & that clarity, in of itself, can be the critical factor signaling real commitment, the beginning of your journey back to true wholeness, health & happiness.

    I'm glad you posted & updated your journal. Thanks Periwinkle.

    You might consider renaming your journal to The Pleasures of Periwinkle Pitstop...
    "Science is not belief but the will to find out." ~ Anonymous
    "Culture of the mind must be subservient to the heart." ~ Gandhi
    "The flogging will continue until morale improves." ~ Unknown


  2. #32
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    Hello Periwinkle! I stumbled onto your journal through another link. I am a PNP with a DNP and working on my PhD. I'm the director of a UT system PNP (AC/PC) on-line program. Boy do I know about working nights. DH is in law enforcement and it's a miricle we have 4 sons (27, 25, 21, 19). Oldest is married. I travel from Houston monthly or more to my full time job 800+ miles away. I've lost 30+ pounds and have another 30 to go. I'm focusing on slow cooker and make ahead meals due to my crazy schedule. Just wanted to say hey to one Texas RN to another. Hang in there! You are doing great.
    Female 53
    Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 160
    Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

    With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

  3. #33
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    Thanks Betorq! I have been lurking, just didnt feel like posting.

    Hi Pedidoc! I started a WHNP program in Fall of 2010 at UTHSC but 2 months in...UTHSC eliminated WHNP, PNP, GeriNP and Psych NP. I was pissed that they accepted me and took my money and then eliminated my program. They told me that if I took 10 grad hours in the Spring 2011 semester, I could stay WHNP, but i was the sole income earner and already pretty stretched going part time. I felt like if they accepted me as a part time WHNP student, then they should allow me to continue as a part time WHNP student and graduate. I was moved into FNP and I did that for the Spring 2011 semester. That spring, my grandfather died at 91 and it just took the heart out of me. FNP wasnt what I wanted and I found it was all I could do to force myself to study, I was burned out from working nights and the low morale of the unit I was working OB/Women's Health on...so I switched to Nursing Education at TWU since it is all online and on a whim, applied for Cy-Fair ISD since I had done some school nursing previously. Now, I like my job, I dont have an addict husband and am much happier...but school hours make it impossible to work on an NP now, and the only WHNP program in Texas in Dallas at TWU. I need to stay here b/c Cy-Fair ISD has a cheap daycare for employees and honestly without that decrease in child care costs, I couldnt afford to be a single mom. So for at least 3 years, Im doing the online Nursing Education MSN and working as a school nurse. I hope to move back to Dallas after that and work on WHNP as a post masters. and teach.

    My weight seems stuck at 174-176 and has been for months, before and after I started primal. I am frustrated, but at the same time, I think primal makes the most nutritional sense and all I can do is make sure I am eating the biggest variety of healthy food...and work towards health and hope the weight works itself out as my body begins to recover. I swear...nurses are some of the unhealthiest people I know. :P
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  4. #34
    Pedidoc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post

    My weight seems stuck at 174-176 and has been for months, before and after I started primal. I am frustrated, but at the same time, I think primal makes the most nutritional sense and all I can do is make sure I am eating the biggest variety of healthy food...and work towards health and hope the weight works itself out as my body begins to recover. I swear...nurses are some of the unhealthiest people I know. :P
    It can be frustrating, can't it? I've kept gaining and losing the same 10 pounds all summer. I do know I need to tighten up my diet to get out of the evil 160s. Hence the intensive Google search for slow cooker meals that are paleo. Hang in there, while the pounds aren't moving, the clothes fit better. I do know journaling and keeping track of what I eat helps. I can look back and see moods, schedule, travel and what I ate - then tie it to the why isn't the scale moving question.

    I've been Maternal-Child my whole career. A heavy emphasis on NICU, about 5 years school nursing when the boys were young (hardest thing I ever did - definitely not for wimps). My MSN is as a Maternal-Child CNS with a minor in administration, because that was the closest I could get at the time with the boys (youngest was a toddler at the time). I got my post-MSN PNP at UTMB, but they have since closed all their programs except FNP. I sort of know how you feel - I never wanted a FNP (adults - huge shudder).

    You've made many positive changes in your life and are going in the right direction with your education. Take it easy on yourself. Single parenthood is hard. You are doing a great job, but when you are that close to it personally, you just can't see it.
    Last edited by Pedidoc; 09-03-2012 at 09:56 AM.
    Female 53
    Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 160
    Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

    With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

  5. #35
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    I find it interesting to note...that in my culture (by which I mean Periwinkle's culture, not the US culture or Texan culture...) anything with a sauce needs rice and soup and stews require white potatoes. I need to find somthing that I can eat with (or under, so to speak) things with sauces. Like fried sweet potatoes, maybe.

    I made a roast in the crock pot yesterday and saved the juice. I always add a lot of water so that I can have "broth" for soup later. It isnt bone broth since there was no bone...but it is beefy and fatty flavored water that makes a marvelous soup base. I added roast and carrots and a small amount of white potato along with herbs and sea salt and it is a great dinner. I felt like adding a bit of barely would be the right thing to do in Periwinkle culture, but I didnt. I find it interesting to pay attention to my eating habits and how my self-created and family-created and society-created culture dictates what I eat.

    Tomorrow I plan to eat left over soup for breakfast. and roast, asparagus, hard boiled egg, strawberries, and cashews while at work. Dinner will be, I dont know, maybe hamburger and green beans. Some kefir and about 1 cup of milk after the kids go to bed and 8 ounces milk mixed with cocoa powder and a shot of expresso in the AM. 1/2 an ounce of 85% dark chocolate with my after bedtime milk. Would it benefit me to cut out milk and chocolate...yeah, probably. But for now, I am just not there yet.

    It is 8:18 Periwinkle time and both kids are out (no nap and 2 hours at the pool). Their lunches are made and their clothes are ready to go in the am. I just have to put my food together in a grab and go form and Im all set. I love 3 day weekends. I actually got almost caught up.

    Speaking of the pool, I'll vent about this here instead of on facebook. This woman and her kids wandered over to the splash pad area and she was taking pics and she made one of her daughters sit with her under this waterfall mushroom thing and kept telling her to smile for the pic. The poor girl was trying to, but the water kept splashing her in the eyes and the mom grabbed the girl hard by the chin, forced her face up and said: "Look at the fucking camera!" the girl was about 7 at the most. I was dumbfounded. I made sure she saw me shake my head and look at her with disdain, but I didnt start anything since my kids were there and I didnt want them to hear any more language like that or witness Mommy throwing down with some strange lady who attacked me b/c I callled her a fucking white trash bitch...But seriously...who talks like that to their own little girl...with hate. and it made me sick to speculate that she and someone else were taking all of these pics and were going to post them on facebook to show what a great and loving family day they had. Sometime, I just dont understand the world.
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  6. #36
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Mostly followed my plan from the other night except I didnt boil any eggs. and once I got home I are 2 small hamburgers cooked in water and butter, strawberries drizzled in butter and sprinkled in cocoa, an egg, some milk and chocolate. I kept craving fat.

    today I ate eggs fried in coconut, 1 tall breve latte with whip, cashews, hamburgers, green beans, a couple strawberries. When I got home I ate bacon, sweet potatoes fried with onions and bacon grease, and fried eggs on top. then when the kids were in the bath, I had milk and chocolate.

    I stopped off and got some neck and marrow bones and have bone broth started in the crock pot. I'll let it simmer for 24 hours. I have to admit that I think the cooked marrow looks disgusting. I know people eat it and love it, but it looks like brain jelly or something.

    My soon to be ex has canceled 2 weekends in a row for getting the kids. This was my biggest fear. That he would just abandon them. My 4 year old was crying at daycare and asking the teacher why her daddy had left and would her mommy leave too. That just breaks my heart. Maybe if he got a job or donated plasma, he'd have the money to put gas in his tank. He puts gas in his tank to get to school. I guess mommy fills his tank for school. Yes, he moved back in with his mom. He had a job offer down here near us, but decided to move in with mommy 4 hours away and find somthing part time. I just wish he'd man up for his kids...but I guess if he was capable of that...I wouldnt be divorcing him. So I hate how much this hurts the kids, but I also would like a break now and again. I am in grad school, and I even though I dropped down to 3 hours, I still need a couple of hours of kid free time to work on it. I'll try to do somthing at work tomorrow, but I really need a couple hours alone in a starbucks to get the next two assignments done.

    I also realized that by taking one class at a time, it will be Spring 2014 before I finish up my MSN. and then I have to finish my thesis. and THEN I can start looking for teaching positions. That means at least 2 more years as a school nurse. Maybe 3.

    Sorry, just rambling.
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  7. #37
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Yikes on that last post. No more posting while sitting in the kids' room getting them to sleep after a long day. Some parts didnt even make sense. :P Usually by 9 pm, I've been up since 5 and I am exhausted.

    Breakfast this am is a grande breve latte. Lunch will be left over beef roast and left over sweet potatoes and pecans and strawberries. I took chicken out to thaw and might make more curry and eat it over sweet potatoes.

    I continually examine my reluctance/inability to give up milk and chocolate for 30 days. I am not ready to take action, but I ponder it from time to time. I am spending this time in my life in reflection, examining my reactions to situations, my relationship to food. I know that when I am tired or stressed, I want to eat. I never ate chocolate before going primal. I first decided to go paleo back in June and did that for 8 days before I convinced myself that raw milk was ok. While on a paleo forum site, someome mentioned 85% dark chocolate as "ok" and I thought...hey....that sounds good. And since then, I have eaten 1-2 ounces a day. I am out of chocolate at the moment. I keep thinking that a Whole30 would be very good for me. I am just not ready to take action on that. I am also not going to buy anymore chocolate until Saturday when I grocery shop again. I ate a lot of it last weekend.
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  8. #38
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Been eating primally the last few days, along with my milk and chocolate. But also have been drinking kefir everyday and I hope that it improves my gut health. I have no idea if my gut is unhealthy...but I wouldnt be suprised and good bacteria wouldnt hurt regardless.

    I have been reading a lot about adrenal fatique. One think that concerns me is how they all harp on getting lots of sleep. One website suggested 10 hours of sleep. Seriously? Im luky to get 4 hours in a row before my 4 year old wakes me up. If I am lucky, she only wakes me once. The earliest I get to bed is 9:45. 4 hours later is 1:45. Then I get to sleep from about 2-5...I am psyching myself up to stop drinking starbucks in the AM. I tried it once last week and I felt wiped all day and 1:30 I broke down and gave one of the office ladies money to bring me back a coffee when she went to Stabucks on her lunch break. I would like to be able to to make some raw milk and 100% bakers cocoa in the AM as my only source of caffeine and then if I ever give up milk...that would go too. But I keep thinking...even if I give up milk and chocolate and caffeine and starting taking adrenal support supplements...It will be 2-3 years before I get a complete nights sleep. Will the best I can do only help my adrenals make it, but not really fix them? that is frustrating...It doesnt mean I wont try every thing I CAN do...but I wish I could do everything the websites say to do and have a complete result instead of just making it a little bit better.

    On a positive note, I started a pot of Quark going. I have no idea if it will be cheese in a few days...but it is starting to curdle.
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  9. #39
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Today so far, I have eaten 2 scotch eggs. I fried them last night, but they kind of fell apart. I think next time I will bake them instead. however, I really prefer runny yokes with both bacon and sausage...so I'll probably just do sausage and fried eggs next time. I also made homemade onion soup with bone broth, onions fried in the fat from the bone broth, and grated gruyere cheese. I have eaten 2 bowels for the last 3 days. I guess Im going to have to make bone broth twice a week to feed my new onion soup addiction. With the soup, I also ate 4 strawberries and a double handful of chopped pecans.

    I am on my 2nd mug of raw milk/2 tablespoons of cocoa/a bit of raw cream. 16 mg of caffeiene is a lot less than I am used to and I feel like I got run over by a truck. I also had bit of almond butter on a spoon. Im planning to fry stew meat, onions, and carrots up in the rest of the bone broth fat for dinner and lunch at work tomorrow. I might throw some green beans in.

    I was blessed with 40 minutes to lay and half doze in bed while the kids watched Clifford the Big Red Dog about 1-1:40...I could have slept deeply for hours...but 40 min of dozing is nothing to sneeze at.

    I decided this am that my milk and kefir was now curds and whey and drained some water out and left the rest in the fridge in a dish towel covered collander to drain till tomorrow and I then I guess I'll have quark. I have no idea what it is supposed to taste it, though.

    I am taking Blue Ice Fish Oil/4 caps a day when I remember. Cal/Mag twice a day when I remember. And sometimes I take GABA. I dont have to take anything to help me sleep anymore. Single Motherhood has cured my insomnia. :P
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

  10. #40
    Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Today was day 5 of no espresso. Day 1 of no cocoa/milk in the am. My only caffeine came from about an ounce of 85% dark chocolate. I started taking supplements that are supposed to be adrenal supportive. Im willing to give the supplements about 2 months, since that is how many I have in the bottle...with no caffiene. Still flirting with giving up milk, but since I put weight loss on hold, I havent been able to muster the motivation. I love everything about raw milk and I am not convinced it is bad for me. Once I get around to wanting to lose weight again...I'll probably limit and then eliminate milk.

    Otherwise, eating primally. August 26 is still the last time I had wheat in the form of Chinese food + rice. I kind of remember eating quinoa and rice Labor Day weekend. Pretending that rice and quinoa are seeds and not grains...I havent had a grain in 3.5 weeks.

    I did have a dream, though...that I accidentally ate some goldfish crackers. They were just there and I was eating them and then I was like OMG I didnt mean to eat those...and I started spitting them out. I dont even like goldfish all that much, especially the rainbow colored ones my kids like...I dont know why I was eating those in the dream and not chocolate cake or somthing.
    It's just another day in paradise
    As you stumble to your bed
    You'd give anything to silence
    Those voices ringing in your head
    You thought you could find happiness
    Just over that green hill
    You thought you would be satisfied
    But you never will-
    Learn to be still
    -The Eagles

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