So far the fasting is going well. Dinner last night was done at 8:00 pm so lunch at noon will be the full 16 hours. I feel hunger, but it isn't distracting. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I sorta like feeling hungry. I don't really like to say that because I know there are folks in the world, for whom feeling hungry is not a choice like it is for me. So I will ammend my statement, I like feeling hungry knowing when and where I will break my fast.
It's a slow day at work... the day before I leave on a trip is always surreal.
My first day of IF is done. It reminded me that the last "diet" I went on was one by a bodybuilder, I can't remember his name, dang! But the diet was really not a whole lot different, carbs were very limited but protein wasn't, but it was low fat. I lost a bunch of weight, about forty pounds but couldn't deal with being hungry all the time. I tried a variant called the warriors diet, It was the brainchild of a man named Ori Hofmekler. One of his ideas is that you eat little or nothing during the day, but you eat essentially unrestricted at night, within a four hour time frame. You have to eat healthy foods, not trash, but the quantity is unlimited.
It was interesting and I tried it for several months and did lose weight. Like I always do, but since it was a diet, when I stopped I gained all of the weight back, like I always do.
So now I really am excited that I have learned what foods are not good for me, and what are. I feel more positive long term. I can see me eating this way for the rest of my life.
First day on the road.
Eating has been good, nice pork chop at the hotel, no bread, potato or dessert. I have had a lot of red wine... Too much.
But I am not out of control and it didn't lead me to binge eating of carbs. So it is successful it that regard. Business wise, the first calls went well too :-)
Managed a swim at the hotel pool too. Fun.
Dunno why I'm up at 4:00 AM. Maybe the wine. I have a headache (dumb). Three more days...
Another day on the road, horrible actually. Our dumbass Company in Canada didn't prepare their documents properly so we were stopped at the border and not allowed entry. Because we needed a work permit to do training. We ended up going back to the usa and an an hour out of our way to find a hotel to stay at. :-(. Sucked big time.
Didn't eat all day except for some beef jerky then we found a restaurant still open at 10:00 and I had a nice steak and a lot of wine. I'm considering giving up drinking entirely since I can't seem to get it under control. Sigh...
So it wasn't a good day at all, still, apart from the alcohol I didn't go off of my diet.
Lunch: small packet of beef jerky 15 grams carbohydrate
Dinner: 12 oz New York Strip, some carrots in some gross sweet glaze.
2 glasses red wine
2 dirty Martinis
2 glasses some cheap champagne.
Note to self, the drinking is beginning to be a problem and I need to stop it. Starting now.
I am home again, tired and frustrated. We couldn't get the work permits in a reasonable time to allow us to cross into Canada, so we headed home. We left at 9:00 in the morning and I got back to my town at about 7:00 PM. I was angry, tired (I didn't sleep much the night before) and hungry. We didn't stop for lunch, late in the afternoon I got a packet of beef jerky.
To top it off my SO was hosting a small party of her girlfriends and asked that I stay out until 8:30. So I stopped at the local park and I walked a walking path for an hour and a half. Despite being very tired, it was the best thing really. Typically I would've found a bar and eaten a nasty meal and had too much to drink. Instead I walked in the beautiful weather and watched the setting sun. Not so bad.
When I got home all the guests had left (the reason it ended so early is that these women all brought their children to play with Davy and they all had to get home to put their children to bed). There was leftover salad and chicken that SO had bought (she doesn't cook). So I ate a little, too tired to gorge, despite being on short rations and hungry.
This morning I am down to 256.6, a new low.
It's Friday, it's supposed to be a beautiful weekend.
Hey, Im really liking your journal. I think it is a great idea to keep them mind on being primal. I think have=ing regular envolvement in what you're doing is crucial to following it and it's success.
Al I can say is keep up the fantastic work and this wonderful journal.
Thanks for stopping by Big_Jas, and for the kind words!
In other news: It's been a weird day, I skipped breakfast, not because of intentional fasting, but because I overslept and didn't want to eat any of the quick and convenient food choices (Carbs) available to me. So I packed up two hard-boiled eggs and some of the chicken from the SOs party and ate it at lunch.
I took a long walk at lunch in the drizzling rain, the route I often take if I walk at lunch. It was nice (despite the rain). I'm still a bit bummed about the trip and a walk in the rain somehow was consoling.
I'm still really tired and not really hungry, even though I haven't been eating much. Lunch was all protien, but not a lot.
Dinner will likely be a lot of vegetables. I haven't been having many these past days on the road and I wants some!
I slept soundly for the first time in several days. Though I woke up early. 4:00 AM ugh... I did compulsively weigh myself again and got good news 256.2, nearly a half a pound lower than yesterday morning.
I'm feeling pretty good physically, but I do have to report in all honesty that my mental state is pretty F'd up. The long and the short of it is that a relationship that was important to me has ended, and I'm hurting. I don't want to go into too many details, but it was a relationship that was entirely innapropriate on a whole range of levels. It was destined to fail really, we managed to remain friends and had a fun but frustrating romantic tension. She accompanied me to Canada (she is a co-worker) and when that trip ended badly we were frustrated and I had too much to drink and made an asshole of myself. The long ride home was tense and bitter, we barely spoke. I apologized and she accepted, but it is finished. I suppose it is for the best, but it was a humiliating end.
Normally I would console my self and drown my shame and sorrow in a binge of beer and sugar, I deserve this right? Or would it be punishment, "Here A-hole, eat this 1200 grams of carbohydrate!". But interestingly, now I really don't feel like eating at all.
Since alcohol played a role in both the beginning and end of this debacle, I have to seriously reconsider my drinking. Since Mark is a proponent of a glass of red wine occasionally, I switched to that from my normal drinks, beer and Irish whiskey. But no matter the drink, after one or two, I would allow my self more, and after several I would lose the ability to make good decisions.
So I must conclude that it is not good for me, and like bread and sugar, also not good for me, I should stop ingesting it. I am saddened by the prospect, so I will not make any grandiose and final statements, but for now at least I'm not drinking. Maybe later, when I am at a healthy weight for awhile and my life is running on a good productive path, I will see if I can enjoy an occasional glass of wine.
As for consoling the hurt, I am going to take a very long walk and watch the sun rise.
Later. Turns out consolation required walking 7-1/2 miles. My feet hurt but my heart feels better.
Last edited by DCarr10760; 07-21-2012 at 04:26 AM.
I'm glad you could console yourself with walking and not food. Hang in there.
If alcohol makes you behave in ways you are embarrassed for later, I think you are wise to give it up. It is hard enough to be our better selves, without throwing obstacles in our way.
Thanks for the reply, in this situation it wasn't anything bad, just I spoke my heart and it wasn't appropriate and it blew up in my face. In Vino Veritas.
But it's good advice, which I will follow.
I don't normally post specific meals, but for breakfast I made a killer omelet with pastured eggs, squash blossoms and a 2 tablespoons of fresh ricotta cheese that all came from our CSA box this week. Yummy! Topped it with some nice salsa and tucked in!
Last edited by DCarr10760; 07-21-2012 at 07:43 AM.