Kids' diet: What to do!? My primal VS ex-wife’s conventional page

[FeetFirst]

I have adopted a primal diet. My ex-wife has not (quite the opposite). Am I harming my children's health by bringing them into my primal diet for 50% of the time, only to send them back to her, where a modern, conventional "diet" of high carb foods, sugar, HFCS, and general junk food are prevalent?

I'm afraid that if my kids are consuming higher animal fats, and fats from avocado/coconut/seeds/etc, while they're with me, their bodies will not be trained to burn that fat for energy because of the massive amounts of carbs/sugar that they're fed for the 50% of the time time they aren't with me. Furthermore, I assume they'll continue to be hungry to fill the glycogen void that will surely occur every time they're at my house. (I "assume" because the primal diet is relatively new to me)

I know the best scenario is to work out a diet with her for the kids... which means she'd have to alter her diet too... which means I'd have to ask her to change how she eats... which means I'm suggesting that she's doing something wrong. Right. Not going to happen. So, let's assume that nothing changes with regard to how she feeds them. Is a 50% primal diet bad for my kids? I'm immensely concerned about what I might be doing to, or for, their health.

Any wisdom on the matter is appreciated! Thanks.

[palebluedots]

If I were you, I'd feed the kids what you are eating and not say anything to anyone about it. Then keep an eye on the kids and see if they look like they're suffering or have any complaints or seem low energy. If that happens, then maybe you can consider keeping some extra stuff around for them. Kids are generally resilient, but it's sweet of you to worry about them, and that's probably how I'd approach it if I were you. Don't forget to feed them lots of good fresh veggies & fruit... that's an option too, having lots of fresh fruit there for them to chow on. :-)

[jammies]

Getting healthy food in to your children can only be a good thing I would suggest not feeding them a low carb version of primal - lots of fruit, potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, etc. Kids should do fine on moderately high carbohydrate primal.

The other question is - do they like the foods you are feeding them? It could be a problem if they hate your foods and refusing to eat at your house becomes a control issue for them.

I would also try to make some homemade bone stocks and if at all possible get some liver in to them. These foods contains lots of nutrients that could get low on eating the diet they get with their mother.

ETA: I would also suggest not being critical to the children about the food their mother feeds them. It is so painful for kids to listen to one beloved parent berate the other beloved parent

[FeetFirst]

I'm glad to hear the suggestion 'cause it's kinda what I've been trying Lots of fruit and fruit juices around to keep them happy. They did well with throwing down some salad and some fruit tonight, along with the pork chops, so hopefully we're on the right path. Thanks!

[FeetFirst]

Do you suggest not-low-carb for them because their metabolism is so much different from mine? Are kids just generally able to burn up calories instead of store them, better than adults? They love rice and sweet potatoes so that'd be a pretty easy to pull off! Eggs and rice has been one of the favorites around here for a long time.

They eat most of the food I make for them, but I always open up the meal with an understanding that they might not like it. After a couple of bites I always ask 'em if they like it. If not, I'll whip something else up real quick. Whatever they don't eat ends up as leftovers for my lunch at work the next day anyway!

I appreciate the non-critical of the ex insight. I try to be mindful of that always--with diet and everything else. They showed up today with giant tubes full of multi-colored flavored sugar that they got at an amusement park. I chose to simply not comment and let them enjoy the treat they got during their fun day out with mom!

[jammies]

Do you suggest not-low-carb for them because their metabolism is so much different from mine? Are kids just generally able to burn up calories instead of store them, better than adults? They love rice and sweet potatoes so that'd be a pretty easy to pull off! Eggs and rice has been one of the favorites around here for a long time.

They eat most of the food I make for them, but I always open up the meal with an understanding that they might not like it. After a couple of bites I always ask 'em if they like it. If not, I'll whip something else up real quick. Whatever they don't eat ends up as leftovers for my lunch at work the next day anyway!

I appreciate the non-critical of the ex insight. I try to be mindful of that always--with diet and everything else. They showed up today with giant tubes full of multi-colored flavored sugar that they got at an amusement park. I chose to simply not comment and let them enjoy the treat they got during their fun day out with mom!

Kids are generally quite active both physically and metabolically. So natural primal carbohydrates will not cause issues for them. Many adults even do very well on a higher carbohydrate version of primal. If you can keep crappy oils, crazy amounts of sugar, and most processed grain foods out of your childrens' diets you'll be doing great. Add to that the addition of some great nutrient dense primal foods and fats and your kids should thrive.

Personally, I would limit or phase out fruit juice as it is really is mostly an empty sugar. But fresh fruit, rice and the other starches are great! Even homemade primal ice cream, berries with chocolate and heavy cream and other nutrient dense primal desserts would likely be fine for them.

Good luck! Sounds like your doing great already.

[mark h]

Try and find ways to make eating healthy their idea. One of our kids now puts me to shame on how well he eats and exercises. Now even at resteraunts it's healthyish.

[magicmerl]

If I were you, I'd feed the kids what you are eating and not say anything to anyone about it.

I wouldn't have fruit juice in the house, but give the kids unlimited access to real fruit. (Which is slightly not primal, but whatever).

[Kochin]

Dietary fat can lead to body fat if it's accompanied by an insulin spike (which signal's your body to save). If (at your place) their insulin spikes are mostly from fruits and juices, they get this fruit SEPARATELY from main meals (most dietary fat is absorbed by the stomach walls within 30 min of eating, so a few hours before/after fats ought to be fine) and the arrangement is such that you have your kids for a minimum of 36 hours a time, there should be no problems.
Otherwise, keep and eye out and go carefully, but they SHOULD be OK. Better than full-time SAD, anyhow.

[JoanieL]

I understand how many CWers might disagree with us about grains and legumes. But junk food and high sugar foods (including HFCS) shouldn't be a part of anyone's diet, and even CWers know that.

Maybe instead of approaching it as if the ex is doing something wrong, you could approach it with the idea of the fact that you two just eat so differently that maybe some compromises could be made on both sides, so the kids don't get confused.

Mark includes a "20" so people don't have to feel constrained by Primal. Maybe for now, you just have to accept that your kids have a "50."