You have the dubious honor of meeting someone who has never killed dinner. I have never caught a fish, even though I have been to a few fishing holes here and there. I have never shot a gun - it just didn't come up as a kid and as an adult I was veg for a good stretch. I have witnessed my old-fashioned Oma bringing the butcher up from the village to axe a goose and a ram. That was hard for me, emotionally, even though intellectually I understood. Now I live in prime deer and wild turkey land. The hunting and gun culture is HUUUUGE here, and I have needed a while to get somewhat used to it. So now that I am Primal, I have been thinking recently of perhaps, maybe looking into killing a dinner. We have a big piece of wooded land, and it is animal sanctuary at my place.
Here is my question: how do you emotionally process killing an animal? I don't ask the wider family here because they are very cavalier about killing stuff - they have the attitude of, if there is any snake in the yard - kill it (non-poisonous, mostly, here) / if there is a groundhog on the side of the road, veer off and run it over to help the farmers (groundhogs make holes in the fields, you know) / if the boys get new guns, they practice by shooting every bird on the property (including songbirds), and my nephew actually told me he stomps on mice in the barn because they make the most cool noises when you do that - I almost threw up and asked him to never tell me that story again (story verified by his mom).
So how do / did you get ready to look at something with a face, in the face, and then take it down??