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Thread: I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend

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  1. #1
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    I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend

    My boyfriend is 6 inches taller than me and about 10-15lbs heavier than me. He has a small bone structure. I have a fairly large one. His arms and legs are normal but he's got a bit of abdominal fat. His exercise is walking and hiking. Mine is hiking, biking, calisthenics and sprinting. I'm in a normal weight range, but you can't call me skinny. He's not on the paleo or primal diet. He believes in CW low-fat as the one true path to health. That doesn't bother me too much since we can make it work.

    Sometimes I think he is annoyed or astonished by the quantity of food I eat. And I'm embarrassed that I need so much compared him, and embarrassed because he notices. Is anyone else in the same position?
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  2. #2
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    YES. I eat as much as my boyfriend when we have meals together, and I actually eat even more when he's not around. We probably clock in around the same amount of calories every day when we're both cutting, and he's over 6 feet and almost 200lbs with almost single digit body fat, whereas I'm 5'4" and 150lbs with about 25% bf.

    Granted, he does lose fat faster than I do, but his eating habits kind of suck because he can't last longer than 6 hours without eating.

  3. #3
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    It's much easier as a male to turn how much you eat into a contest or a bragging right, so no, can't say I've ever really felt that way.
    Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncephalized View Post
    It's much easier as a male to turn how much you eat into a contest or a bragging right, so no, can't say I've ever really felt that way.
    This. I can eat enough to feed my immediate family (two women and a jerk who is too immature to be called a man).
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  5. #5
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    I don't eat more than my husband, but I find that it is far too easy to be beset by negative thoughts when you are eating. Too much, too little, wrong smell, not to specs, wrong color, wrong time, why do I need another bite, is it Okay to eat different food than everyone else... one and on.

    So, I am trying to let go of any judgmental emotions connected to what I eat. My in-laws are staying right now, and I felt really bad with my mother in law endlessly repeating how they do not eat much meat any more (right between her husband reaching for the third helping of meatzza and her complaining how she is always cold) but then I decided that if I feel like pulling a slab of liver from the fridge and eating it for supper instead of soup, I f'ing will. Raw if I feel like it.

    Sorry, I am kindda feeling like I am in the middle of the death by one thousand silken threads right now, and cranky!
    Last edited by Leida; 07-05-2012 at 09:33 AM.
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  6. #6
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    Come eat a meal with me. You won't feel so badly anymore. I consider being able to eat lots of real food a badge of honor. What turns me off are the women that eat 2 cups of salad and 4oz of meat, or yogurt and a tiny sandwich. Ooo, cottage cheese and crackers again? Tasty, I'm so jealous of your lunch *eye roll* How anyone can survive off that is mindboggling. I eat my lunch out of a 13 cup storage container. My co-workers call it my "trough." It's consistently overfilled. I have to press down with my bodyweight to snap the lid on.
    Last edited by ChocoTaco369; 07-05-2012 at 09:49 AM.
    Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

  7. #7
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    Mar 2012
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    Yeah, I can't stand it when people pick at their food, I want to see some happy eating.

    Next time your boyfriend comments, tell him to shut up and hand his plate over, you ain't done yet. It's all about the confidence.

  8. #8
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    i don't have time for people that get 'embarrassed'

  9. #9
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    He's actually made some comments a couple times. I tried to explain to him that because I don't have a big base of rice or pasta under my food I have to eat more meat and vegetables.

    He asked me how come I don't eat rice (maybe he was reading up on "safe starches" or something). I told him I usually take a little bit, but I don't do the huge heaping piles of rice anymore because it just gives me a stuffed feeling. Whereas when I have a huge heaping pile of real food without rice or on top of lettuce or cauliflower, I might feel full but I don't feel stuffed. I also told him I like the weight loss I got eating this way and I don't want to blow it.

    I guess it's okay to stuff yourself with filler but not with actual food. I feel embarrassed because the food and the quantity that I eat is not dainty. There's nothing about me that's dainty.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    I feel embarrassed because the food and the quantity that I eat is not dainty. There's nothing about me that's dainty.
    sbhikes - DAINTY CAN KISS MY PRIMAL BACKSIDE

    I want my daughters to be healthy, and fit, and people of good character, courage, action and learning. There was no room for "dainty" back in the Paleolithic. I do not advocate that women need become uncivilized or try to be men just for the sake of being seen as strong women, but this "women need to be dainty" thing is a relic of the kind of thinking that we need to throw off. We need better models of thinking.

    My MIL has always characterized herself as "delicate", as in whatever she doesn't want to do that is physical, out comes the "Grandma is just too delicate" phrase. My mom literally gets in the MUD with my girls - grandma bemoans the fact that the mud stains won't wash from their Carhartts.

    I always interrupt each and every attempt by Grandma that I hear directed at my girls and their eating habits. I have told my daughters this from day one: AS LONG AS IT IS GOOD (REAL) FOOD, EAT UNTIL YOU ARE FULL. Sometimes that is a chicken leg quarter, and sometimes that is a huge steak each - plus veggies. MIL and FIL sometimes try to influence us (hubby and I) but we graciously ignore it.

    You are healthy and fit and active. That takes FOOD. I am so sorry that it is specifically your boyfriend making these remarks. My hubby is a serious eater himself, so I get no gruff. His only care is if there is enough on the table to make the 6 of us gloriously happy - especially him.

    If he keeps this up, I would flat-out ask him what his problem is. This is a stupid, nit-picky thing my husband would never think to say.

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