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Thread: I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend page

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    sbhikes's Avatar
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    I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend

    Primal Fuel
    My boyfriend is 6 inches taller than me and about 10-15lbs heavier than me. He has a small bone structure. I have a fairly large one. His arms and legs are normal but he's got a bit of abdominal fat. His exercise is walking and hiking. Mine is hiking, biking, calisthenics and sprinting. I'm in a normal weight range, but you can't call me skinny. He's not on the paleo or primal diet. He believes in CW low-fat as the one true path to health. That doesn't bother me too much since we can make it work.

    Sometimes I think he is annoyed or astonished by the quantity of food I eat. And I'm embarrassed that I need so much compared him, and embarrassed because he notices. Is anyone else in the same position?
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3

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    sakura_girl's Avatar
    sakura_girl is online now Senior Member
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    YES. I eat as much as my boyfriend when we have meals together, and I actually eat even more when he's not around. We probably clock in around the same amount of calories every day when we're both cutting, and he's over 6 feet and almost 200lbs with almost single digit body fat, whereas I'm 5'4" and 150lbs with about 25% bf.

    Granted, he does lose fat faster than I do, but his eating habits kind of suck because he can't last longer than 6 hours without eating.

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    Uncephalized's Avatar
    Uncephalized is offline Senior Member
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    It's much easier as a male to turn how much you eat into a contest or a bragging right, so no, can't say I've ever really felt that way.
    Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

    My Primal Journal

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    namelesswonder's Avatar
    namelesswonder is offline Moderator
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    Yes, I just responded in your journal about this.

    My boyfriend lives off of grains, and our primal dinners. If he subbed his ramen lunches with primal food and stopped baking, he'd be primal and probably feel better than he thinks he is capable of. I know he has digestive issues sometimes, and he feels like he has a cold (stuffy nose) the morning after drinking too much alcohol (usually grain-based vodka and/or beer). He is very resistant to suggestions of change without making any observations or asking for help (which is rare) himself. It's kind of a stereotypical male thing, I guess, where he has to be strong on his own and is too stubborn to try and help himself, let alone ask for help. He also puts a lot of faith in doctors, despite being constantly disappointed when they don't have answers for him (if you go to the doctor when you're sick, they're just going to tell you to go home and drink fluids and rest; they aren't magical and there's no cure for the common cold).

    He recently observed that I eat so much more than him and I felt embarrassed. Then I remembered how good I feel about the food I eat, and moved past it. I know that if he adopted a primal lifestyle, his health would improve vastly, but it's a slow process. At this point, I've been trying to do this for about a year (was really half-assing it until last Fall), and he's progressed as far as joking about his empty-carb lunches.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  5. #5
    Leida's Avatar
    Leida is offline Senior Member
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    I don't eat more than my husband, but I find that it is far too easy to be beset by negative thoughts when you are eating. Too much, too little, wrong smell, not to specs, wrong color, wrong time, why do I need another bite, is it Okay to eat different food than everyone else... one and on.

    So, I am trying to let go of any judgmental emotions connected to what I eat. My in-laws are staying right now, and I felt really bad with my mother in law endlessly repeating how they do not eat much meat any more (right between her husband reaching for the third helping of meatzza and her complaining how she is always cold) but then I decided that if I feel like pulling a slab of liver from the fridge and eating it for supper instead of soup, I f'ing will. Raw if I feel like it.

    Sorry, I am kindda feeling like I am in the middle of the death by one thousand silken threads right now, and cranky!
    Last edited by Leida; 07-05-2012 at 09:33 AM.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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    ChocoTaco369's Avatar
    ChocoTaco369 is online now Senior Member
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    Come eat a meal with me. You won't feel so badly anymore. I consider being able to eat lots of real food a badge of honor. What turns me off are the women that eat 2 cups of salad and 4oz of meat, or yogurt and a tiny sandwich. Ooo, cottage cheese and crackers again? Tasty, I'm so jealous of your lunch *eye roll* How anyone can survive off that is mindboggling. I eat my lunch out of a 13 cup storage container. My co-workers call it my "trough." It's consistently overfilled. I have to press down with my bodyweight to snap the lid on.
    Last edited by ChocoTaco369; 07-05-2012 at 09:49 AM.
    Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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    i don't have time for people that get 'embarrassed'

  8. #8
    Comma's Avatar
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    Yeah, I can't stand it when people pick at their food, I want to see some happy eating.

    Next time your boyfriend comments, tell him to shut up and hand his plate over, you ain't done yet. It's all about the confidence.

  9. #9
    sbhikes's Avatar
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    He's actually made some comments a couple times. I tried to explain to him that because I don't have a big base of rice or pasta under my food I have to eat more meat and vegetables.

    He asked me how come I don't eat rice (maybe he was reading up on "safe starches" or something). I told him I usually take a little bit, but I don't do the huge heaping piles of rice anymore because it just gives me a stuffed feeling. Whereas when I have a huge heaping pile of real food without rice or on top of lettuce or cauliflower, I might feel full but I don't feel stuffed. I also told him I like the weight loss I got eating this way and I don't want to blow it.

    I guess it's okay to stuff yourself with filler but not with actual food. I feel embarrassed because the food and the quantity that I eat is not dainty. There's nothing about me that's dainty.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3

  10. #10
    Leida's Avatar
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    PrimalCon New York
    Well, next time you can pick the fork with two fingers and set your pinkie aside when you are eating your steak and serve it on the finest China (he can wash it).... If you don't own China, lol, I wish I could lend you some of mine, my mother brought the whole cupboard full, it is on the perpetual display in the living room now.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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