What I meant was that I always thought I comfort ate / binged because of emotional issues, and then I would go on diets to try and lose the weight, but really both the dieting and the emotions were creating metabolic disharmony that kept me trapped in a cycle of agonies and ecstasies.
I feel your pain and I've had many of the same experiences. Hugs. xx
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat
I'm planning a non-trite, non-facetious response to this whole one year primal thing... it will come. It's brewing like Yorkshire Tea. A lot has happened this year and at least one thing that was a complete and utter derail. I'm still processing that. The pig fat scar has almost disappeared, but things in my brain...not so much.
I'm fatter than I was this time last year. Not by much, perhaps, but by enough to make me grind my teeth in annoyance. Fat me is still thin, but not as slender and reed-like as I prefer. However, during the year I was thin, very thin (though not thin *enough* because although I pretend that the only culture I believe is yoghurt, I live in this world and am bombarded by the current aesthetic for bones under skin). Indeed, I got to the bones-under-skin stage and looked fantastic dressed, but rather hollow naked. At the moment my - sorry, explicit body talk - breasts are round and full and my belly is mildly (and sometimes not so mildly) convex. I'm happy, but also cross. I want to get back to where I was when I started. Oh the irony.
There's this thing that I do whereby if I'm feeling out of control I amplify that by eating to punish myself. Sometimes the only way to judge if something's making me unhappy is to see if my eating is self-destructive. When I thought I'd screwed up my marriage there was a noticeable absence of feeling, but a shed-load of negative eating (three months of it). I took note and started working on fixing my marriage while never acknowledging/recognising any kind of preference either way. Call it a gut reaction, if you will. That in itself was very strange - I saw that I was panicking purely from the binges, but had no emotional response to the situation.
There have been times this year where I've thought that I've finally cracked it; and there have been times when I've totally lost it. Whatever 'it' is in that construction - diet, sanity. There have been times when the MDA boards have been wonderful and there have been times when reading threads has led to anxiety or knocked me off course. This is irrational. There is no food Jesus. Iodine/cold showers/potatoes/all meat/animal fat/carrot salads...there is no substance messiah. I know this, but I still fall for things - irrational hopes.
Overall, I'm happy with the general primal/paleo way of life, but it isn't so very different from how I ate before (always home-cooked real foods, usually light on starches).
I am mildly concerned that overall I think I'm eating less (joules/calories), but am not losing weight. It must be the wine, I suppose. I have a solid two bottles a week habit that I am unwilling to relinquish. Also, because of changes to my commute I can no longer walk for 1.5 hours a day, I've lost about 20 minutes. This has had a bigger negative affect than I thought possible, despite the fact that I've added body weight exercises in.
I guess I'm signed up to this for life now. I think for year two I am going to concentrate on eating like I've always done, but MDA-approved rather than self-consciously trying to BE PRIMAL. So, stop thinking about macros and just think about meals. Stop trying to eat liver all the time and just enjoy pate. There is such a thing as too many egg breakfasts...
Food is something, ostensibly, we have control over whereas life is full of things that are uncontrollable. However, our bodies seem to have an agenda all of their own (it comes as no surprise that the three-month binge followed a three-month period of increasing restriction - I'm sure that too played a part in the eatathon). It is possible to binge on meat, at least it is for me.
I am not a Friday success story, but then there is more to me than what I choose to eat and drink. The semi-religious mania is intoxicating, but leaves a hangover.
Today I ate two scrambled eggs, a bowl of coq au vin sans the coq - leftovers from the night before, six mini sausages and a plate of courgette noodle carbonara.
Last edited by badgergirl; 06-08-2013 at 02:23 AM.
I am up early for a Saturday as I just saw my two oldest off to a church overnighter, so you get me for company.
Re the semi-religious mania thing here on the MDA - this is my personal take on it, and not eloquently put, but this same fervor you see here on the MDA is present in the basic American psyche and culture, evident everywhere you look. I cannot remember if you have spent any appreciable time stateside, although I think you have not, albeit have long-term friendships with at least a couple of Yanks, so my advice is, if it does not sit well with your English soul, just ignore it as part of our cultural weirdness. You have been on enough threads here to know that religious discussions themselves are always nearly explosive, and we Americans, more often than not, bring that church-revival, come-and-get-saved feeling to areas of life where other cultures would not.
As for anything being a messiah, you are right - there are no universal food messiahs. But it sure can feel like one when you are the one who has just found "salvation" from continuing pain and ill-health. If I may offer a better metaphor: try looking at all of the suggestions here as tools in a toolkit, nothing more, regardless of how strident the prophet of x-remedy is.
No other news at present - just a church talent auction to attend tonight.
I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC
(though I think I prefer to call you Cakes)
I've spent a fair few months Stateside (always in the North, but both coasts) and worked for an American company for several years in an office full of Yanks. Yes, I'm aware of the cultural tendency towards unbridled (to my Brit eyes) enthusiasm, flag waving and cult-like behaviour. However, my comment was more directed at my own longing for a shortcut or easy fix - I get too easily swept away by the thought of a shortcut into silly extremism.
On the food and exercise front things have been going quite well. I'm enjoying cooking my own food - husband and I chore swapped, did I mention that? - it's nice to know what I'll be eating and have control of menu planning again instead of both of us feeling anxiety about mealtimes. I've made a fabulous batch of yoghurt, which should keep me in breakfasts until we head off on our hols (ten sleeps). I'm spring cleaning the house in anticipation (because, well, logic doesn't come in to it, but I suppose on returning one sees home with fresh eyes and I really don't want my first thought on coming through the door after three weeks away and a 24-hour flight to be: ugh, what a dirty hovel) and am stiff and sore from moving furniture, vacuuming, mopping and polishing the wooden floors. Next weekend I'm determined to take down the fly screens and clean them and the windows - the dirt on the screens is incredible. In an ideal world I'd do the blinds too, but they're a swine to clean and I doubt I'll have time.
B: yoghurt, banana
L: a small bowl of a batch of chili made with pork and beef mince, chorizo, butternut squash, courgette, tomatoes, capsicum, celery, onion, garlic, cinnamon, cumin, honey and two habanero chilies - very yum
D: pork stirfry
And Happy Holidays, Badger.
Annie Ups the Ante