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Thread: waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal page 6

  1. #51
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    I don’t know about this being in touch with your emotions nonsense*; I think it was easier when I simply swallowed them. Today I felt oddly flat – not empty – maybe crushed would be a better word. No reason why, beyond the obvious and ongoing, but today turned out to be difficult: as if I was moving in slow motion when the world around me
    is full-steam ahead. Barely made it out of bed and stomach issues – Still nerves? Really? – are ongoing.

    * Typo said ‘in touch with your motions’, which may also be primal judging by the number of threads on the topic, but is not something one would necessarily want to admit to, particularly given my current digestive irregularities.

    I did feed the emotions some extra peanut butter to see if that would help, but even as I was doing it I sort of inwardly face-palmed at the ridiculousness of this endeavour. Anyway, I was sensible enough to pack liver pate for lunch, which helped rather than hindered the fight back. As to doing constructive things at work, well, not so much except I had a brainwave that everyone loved and will keep me in the good books for a while. I forget where it was first mooted, but there’s something in that philosophy that to be successful you need to do one high-profile thing exceptionally well, rather than excel at the humdrum. That’s my career hack of the day. Let’s see how far I can push it.

    B: cup of yoghurt, tablespoon of p’nut butter, four walnuts
    L: 200g chicken liver pate with a carrot and head of cauli (raw)
    D: three-egg omelette with beef sausage, courgette, capsicum and onion
    Supper! 10 walnuts and an apple

    Fitday says 1217 calories; F: 60% 82g P: 22% 69g C: 18% 56g
    and then I had supper...
    1551 calories; F: 61% 109g P: 19% 75g C: 20% 81g

    Walked for an hour and 45 minutes again today. Very tired (was late home again thanks to VLine) and husband has caught my general malaise so now we're both blue. Fantastico.

    Didn't do any weights last night and didn't sleep well either. Grr. Will try for both tonight.
    Last edited by badgergirl; 08-22-2012 at 02:12 AM. Reason: obscure formatting oddities and then I had an extra meal!
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  2. #52
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    Right. Apologies for typos and lack of macros. Today has been an along for the ride day and there's very little point fitdaying as I'm not sure what I ate.
    B: yoghurt, three walnuts
    L: frittata with garnish (lord only knows what was in it: an egg, maybe two, I certainly hope there was egg involved; butternut or perhaps sweet potato; could have well had flour in it as the texture was effed up)
    D: beef stew: beef, tomatoes, mushrooms, leek, mustard and random condiments - husband let loose in the kitchen again - bottle of merlot, teaspoon of p'nut butter

    Coworker's mother's funeral.

    Woke up this morning in a horrible panic thanks to a very realistic rape dream. Lying in the darkness and waiting for the alarm to go off, I spent many minutes working out how I could have dropped to my knees and hamstrung the fucker - if only I'd had two switchblades to hand in my dream. So, restful and relaxing thoughts/night. Then I thought about biting.

    Busy at work, small boy sent home sick, husband still blue.

    Considering posting a photo...am I a mega poster or simply a mega lurker?
    Last edited by badgergirl; 08-23-2012 at 01:08 AM. Reason: more angst added
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  3. #53
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    Craptastic day. Just had a huge blow up with husband about his parenting decisions. Great. We've been competing all week on who's doing it harder and now I'm enraged. Wonderful.

    B: yoghurt, four walnuts
    L: salsa, tuna, nibble of cheese, four almonds
    D: beef, leek, mushroom and tomato stew

    Fitday says 1420 calories: F 53% 86g P 25% 89g C 22% 85g

    Walked for an hour and ten.
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  4. #54
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    Quiet weekend of chores, mainly, along with a short road trip to visit a patchwork shop, but came home without the blue-and-white fabric I'm searching for. Yesterday was an eggs, yoghurt and nuts day. Today? I'm not sure what today holds foodwise, but I do know I'm coming down with small boy's cold.
    Will get back to the usual Fitdaying nonsense tomorrow, but for now I need to go and make banana bread for small boy and to take to work tomorrow for grieving co-worker (not sure how this became my job, but there).
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm!

  5. #55
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    I go through prolonged periods of not going to the hairdresser, usually to save money. My super-sassy short hair grows ever daggier, yes I am aware of the derivation of the word and it is apt, and eventually I am driven back to the stylist's clutches with a shameful confession on my lips. Forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been several months since my last cut and blow dry...
    And so we have today's food listing. Forgive me, for I have sinned:
    B: yoghurt, walnuts
    Morning tea: homemade banana and walnut bread (by my own fair hand, to welcome grieving co-worker back)
    L: IF, if you can call it that
    D: meatballs and liver-and-tongue enhanced ratatouille, an apple
    Walked for an hour and twenty and tonight I *will* waggle weights.
    It's odd, breaking any 'diet' is of course 'sinful', but now it really does feel more than usually wrong. Not sure I like the rigid orthodoxy of this. I guess I want to be more catholic (universal) than orthodox (right). Gah! It's not a religion, it's just a way of eating! So I broke banana bread with sorrowful friends (yes, other coworker was also grieving - her dog died on Friday afternoon - it was one of those weeks, evidentally). I was a better human for it.
    Coworkers A and B are wonderful and I love them dearly.
    Last edited by badgergirl; 08-27-2012 at 12:44 AM. Reason: typical typo
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  6. #56
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    Small boy's cold continues to drag me down. Not happy about the back-to-back bouts of illness in the house!
    B: two eggs scrambled in butter, four walnuts
    L: broc, cauli and blue brie soup
    D: tongue and liver enhanced ratatouille with beef mince and cheese
    Fitday says a whisker over 1500 with fat at 66%, protein at 18% and carbs at 16%. Not sure I believe Fitday, but whatever. Walked for an hour and twenty, feeling like a martyr the whole way. Will do some form of physical jerks later.
    So...
    Dado is banned. I would ask what he was on, but I think in one thread he did tell us. Funny (in both senses) guy. I'll miss him, I think.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm!

  7. #57
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    GROUNDHOG DAY!
    Same food, walked for an hour and 45 minutes.
    God, this is dull - my journal, not this way of eating (which I refuse to abbreviate to WOE).
    This morning I stripped off my outer layers in order to show the train ladies my biceps. Yep, I got 'em out for the girls. Honestly, it's a good job I don't have visible abs - can you only imagine how quickly the carriage would empty?
    Still coughing like a fag-ash Lil. Still blowing my nose like a foghorn (one better than the small boy who has, despite being told to get a tissue, wiped his nose on his sleeve so often that the skin underneath is raw, that'll teach him). Still waiting for more whooshing, in a sort of hopeful, anything is possible kind of a way.
    New girl at work is very 'up' all the time. AQI is just the beginning; everything is 'awesome, cool, legend'. When I try to sleep at night her voice fills my head and sends me slightly mad. Today, when the temp working on reception informed her that she was going to the loo, new coworker said 'don't hurry back!' I choked on my (own, not beef) tongue.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm!

  8. #58
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    almost groundhog again
    B: homemade yoghurt aka food of the gods
    L: broc, cauli and blue brie soup
    D: essentially, at this stage, it's beef and vegetable chili and thank god it's finished
    Walked an hour and ten. Got three hours' sleep last night; still coughing, still spluttering.
    Coworkers A and C were there today, but coworker B is getting her jollies in Cairns. Coworker A, who is grieving for her mother, has two weeks off starting next week and I will be doing her work, my work, my genius project that is scoring super brownie points, reformatting a pile of docs for another dept on the sly as a favour (I'm subject to management turf wars at the moment), oh, and the annual report. Yes, it sounds like death to me, too.
    Awesome, cool, legend.
    Last edited by badgergirl; 08-30-2012 at 01:48 AM. Reason: typing fail
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm!

  9. #59
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    Hello Badgegirl, i am 37 years old female( god, it must be a first time I describe my self as female.. )
    and the only thing that works with me for loosing weight( being already thin) is ketosis . Paleo does serve
    great for getting to your approximately true weight, but it doesn't serve a damn when twitching the last
    few kilograms. I do IF in the mornings, do my training on empty stomach (heavy weights with few reps)
    and just started the Peak training from Mercola. The idea of training this way is to boost your HGHproduction.
    It does work combined with ketosis. It work so well that I my self am surprised. Yes, I know that it depletes your
    Glucogen reserves, but I have lost some real fat on the way. It has been 5 days and I will stop in another 3.
    Then I will be back to the mentioning part, staying the same weight isn't a problem.
    Best

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by ezk View Post
    Hello Badgegirl, i am 37 years old female( god, it must be a first time I describe my self as female.. )
    and the only thing that works with me for loosing weight( being already thin) is ketosis . Paleo does serve
    great for getting to your approximately true weight, but it doesn't serve a damn when twitching the last
    few kilograms. I do IF in the mornings, do my training on empty stomach (heavy weights with few reps)
    and just started the Peak training from Mercola. The idea of training this way is to boost your HGHproduction.
    It does work combined with ketosis. It work so well that I my self am surprised. Yes, I know that it depletes your
    Glucogen reserves, but I have lost some real fat on the way. It has been 5 days and I will stop in another 3.
    Then I will be back to the mentioning part, staying the same weight isn't a problem.
    Best
    Hello! and thanks for dropping by.
    Ketosis does sound pretty cool - have you seen Paleobird's posts on the topic? Unfortunately, what with my history of disordered eating, I really don't think *intentional* IF is for me. Now, if I ever genuinely forget to eat that's a different matter, but if I plan not to eat that does tend to become a problem.
    Ha! I'm all about oral gratification...I like eating.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm!

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