waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal page 33

[badgergirl]

B: nuts, apple, turkey, coffee - awake at 1.15am; up at 3.30am
L: beef chili
D: smoked salmon, salads, lychees, stilton

So, so tired. Work insanely busy.

Therapy is not yet going anywhere helpful, but I'll give it two more sessions.

[badgergirl]

Still here, but just trying to eat without thinking about it and eat without emoting about it. Just...like a normal person (if normal people followed the BP). I'm too busy to read all the threads and get my head turned by moar this and less that (a good thing), but I'm also too busy to walk at lunch times or after work (a bad thing). Evenings are still prime snacking time, which I'm trying to curb. Have resumed weight waggling.

[Crabbcakes]

Hey badger - just did the Triangle of Death to those two spambots for you. Gotta run - Third needs a bath before school!

[ezk]

May i share some late food experiences? I know.. it can be deadly, annoyingly boring..

[badgergirl]

May i share some late food experiences? I know.. it can be deadly, annoyingly boring..

This is a safe place for the sharing of food experiences!

[badgergirl]

Bacon man is back. I wonder... *waves* ???

[ezk]

Ok. i eat freely, not considering anything else then my
desires. I eat bread, pasta, cakes. I eat when i fell like, i overeat almost everyday. It has been like that since 2 months.
Did i gain weight , hell yes. Did i gain the weight i must have considering the quantities of food i had so badly enjoyed..
No, not at all. 8 or 9 pounds. Am i happy..that is interesting.. I simply think different stuff then what i will put into my mouth.
A restructuring of my taste, i am back liking the food i loved when i was younger, before the highway of diets begun.
Somehow pasta and pizza were not desirable to me before the restrictions.They are not now.
Something has changed. being a bit overweight( for my own self, doubt for the others),
is a fair trade, i eat, it is good and the rest can sucks cocks on the moon.
An interesting thing is that there is a whole bunch of people getting on the same train, like me,
tired of all that jazz, obsessions , food gourus and rest.
No idea how it will end, somehow i doubt that i can persuade my self to come back to any kind of restrictive
eating.

[ezk]

Bacon man. There should a song as for his counterpart.
Who is he and what does he want.. From you?

[badgergirl]

Bacon man. There should a song as for his counterpart.
Who is he and what does he want.. From you?

I'm trying to discover answers to those questions, too. As to a song as his counterpart... I'll have to give that one some thought. At the moment I'm enjoying the aroma of hot sizzle, but you know how it goes with bacon - the promise is often more pleasurable than the eating. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I think I'm going to dump my therapist. Three hours of being empathised with and having one's own words repeated back to one in hushed tones as if she had just discovered a life-changing secret don't really seem to be helping. Not to mention she gives me CBT-flavoured homework with instructions photocopied out of a book written by and for dimwits. I'd rather buy shoes.

[ezk]

Sugar man, song from Rodriguez. Check "Looking for the sugar man", documentary.
Ahh, the psy . It sucks when you are brighter then they ,even more if knowing your internal
topography . I'll take the shoes everyday.