Ack - hard to know what to wish for here, badger. I am often a single-style mom, time wise, due to hubby's work schedule, but he does carry the house financially, so I think it really doesn't equate. My mom is very much like you, in that she long carries the full-time job and money paperwork, while my dad hasn't seen employment that lasted more than a few months (when he actually had any) since I was in high school, and he adds a lot of emotional drama to each and every day, but my dad can and does shop, cook, clean, and organize with a vengeance (OCD helps in that regard). I totally get your frustration and resentment - I would feel the same way.
I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC