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Thread: waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal page 15

  1. #141
    badgergirl's Avatar
    badgergirl is online now Senior Member
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    Today hasn't been primal either. This has to stop. I'm working from home tomorrow and will regroup/rethink.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  2. #142
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    Reasons I am old

    My grandmother remembered running outside to see the first plane (a biplane) that passed overhead and never had a landline, because telephones scared her...

    ...similarly...

    I can remember a world without the internet, when I faxed proofs, when printers supplied ozalids.

    I can remember saving money to buy a cassette album, when the non-single tracks were a complete surprise. When videos were only ever seen via the Saturday morning television.

    MTV arrived when I was in high school.

    I remember when facts were looked up in the encyclopaedia, which was a book.

    When I hand coded html and was ahead of the curve.

    I remember a different world.

    Sometimes I miss it.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  3. #143
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    We won't talk about breakfast, because it was pure and unadulterated excessive evil, but lunch was bacon and dinner was beef chili. It's back on or I am. Husband talked me down from a two-week potato experiment, but I'm still tempted.
    In other news, we're still talking divorce. Fun, fun times. How did it come to this after years of existing in a limbo of acceptance? Suddenly, pow! We're both stunned. There has to be a way of turning the tanker back around, but we both look at each other perplexed. The tiller is unattended.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  4. #144
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    We got assessed today and will begin individual therapy, probably early next year, still no sign of couples' therapy though. It's not for the sake of looking. I dunno. We might end up divorced by then...
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  5. #145
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    Oh Badgergirl...can't think what to say. Here's praying you both can learn to fight for your marriage. Each other is not the enemy.

  6. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    There has to be a way of turning the tanker back around, but we both look at each other perplexed. The tiller is unattended.
    There is still hope as long as neither of you has definitively jumped ship. And what is taking so long with the therapy thing? Have they no room for the two of you?? Big Hugs to both of you today - just 'cause.

  7. #147
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    Thank you for your kind thoughts and hugs, ladies. We are going through the local healthcare system referral process, which is partly government funded, rather than private. Hence the wait, I suppose. Husband is already on antidepressants and therapy needs to be seen in that context. The mental well-being nurse's assessment of us was that we needed individual 'care plans' as this would maximise the rebate/minimise the out-of-pocket expense. Her argument was that if we could get ourselves straightened out our relationship would improve as a direct response. She also said there would be the opportunity to do couple's therapy sessions after we had both 'used up' our individual quotas.

    She also gave us homework to help us relate to each other better. We are both very unsure about her - she seemed to get the wrong end of the stick a fair amount - but ultimately she is just the gatekeeper for referrals to a therapist. It's a very long, drawn-out process when I was looking for intense and rapid action, but we've been married ten years - the least I can do is invest some patience in the process.

    I'm completely flat about the split/stay dichotomy. Both options seem equally appealling and repelling at the moment, it's simply a matter of where I (and husband) place my (our) energies and attentions. That said, my eating is haywire and destructive so although I feel flat and blank, clearly underneath I'm in meltdown.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  8. #148
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    Food compliance continues to be challenging - coworker A (team lead of the little cats of mayhem and delight) has a birthday that demanded cake and of course beaters were licked, cake mix taste-tested, icing licked off a spoon and then a slice eaten - spiced carrot with lemon cream cheese icing. However, some kind of corner has been turned and not a moment too soon as the mummy tummy and lardy thighs are back. Self-defeat is my speciality.

    I packed liver pate for lunch, but am going out for wine instead. The pate can wait until dinner, which makes today look like this:
    B: walnuts, two scrambled eggs, coffee
    L: large slice of carrot cake, glass of shiraz, potato wedges (about ten), cheese, ham, the innards of a slice of quiche
    D: liver pate, celery sticks...and a bottle of red. we all know that it's weekly shop night, right?

    Husband and I, well, day-to-day not much changes. We did our homework, which made things worse but maybe various boils need lancing before healing can occur?
    Last edited by badgergirl; 10-25-2012 at 09:06 PM. Reason: alcohol honesty
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  9. #149
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    Ouch.

  10. #150
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Because I am mad and desperate and willing to try anything once, even country dancing and we don't talk about those times that were incest, I am eating potatoes. Just potatoes. The liquid component of the diet isn't quite there yet - I had milk in my tea and coffee today as well as the other half of the weekly shop, but still: the potato weeks are game on.

    I'm reading The Marriage Plot and remembering what it was to be a thinking, cogitating, creative being. It's a very good book, but not quite good enough for me to think that the great Badger Novel doesn't have the chance to be better. Seriously, perhaps I can do better. Certainly, I can write a more beautiful sentence.

    At the same time, my internal life is more like something imagined by Catherine M on ketamine: totally fucked and completely inert. Perhaps I need to take up streetwalking...for the exercise, if nothing else.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

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