What do real American men look like? page 21

[Blackcatbone]

makes sense given there was so much homo-eroticism in Interview that I was surprised the book didn't catch fire. It is just something I find interesting...physical aggression, unsolicited violation of personal space...in reality that would be called abuse, harassment and other such terms. Make the dude a vampire and suddenly the panties hit the floor. Just something I find interesting.

On this, rape/violation fantasies have nothing to do with actually wanting to be raped. There are varying hypotheses as to their origin and meaning, but none that indicate an actual desire for such. The one that I find most plausible is that in a society where women's sexuality is feared and repressed they offer a "safe" outlet for desire. IOW, if you're "taken" you don't have to feel guilty about it. Another one being the fantasy of overwhelming desirability. "I'm so hot this man who can have his way with any woman he wants but chooses me."

[cori93437]

On this, rape/violation fantasies have nothing to do with actually wanting to be raped. There are varying hypotheses as to their origin and meaning, but none that indicate an actual desire for such. The one that I find most plausible is that in a society where women's sexuality is feared and repressed they offer a "safe" outlet for desire. IOW, if you're "taken" you don't have to feel guilty about it. Another one being the fantasy of overwhelming desirability. "I'm so hot this man who can have his way with any woman he wants but chooses me."

Exactly... on both counts.
Good girl , tried to resist, overcome by passion... this works because so many women are still fed the "good girls don't story".
The overwhelming desirability portion of the program... works because... ummm... Flattery! Yeah, even if ladies have spend the past two-three years wiping bottoms, playing portable feeding device, and cooking/cleaning/not having nearly enough adult conversation or time in 'sexy' clothing... they still want to know or pretend just every once in a while that thy are still special and just maybe hot... to someone else.

And... thus the use of the word "ravish, ed, ing" being tossed about earlier with the meaning of implied consensual desire NOT rape.

[canio6]

no, i was not joking. about rape. i've had sex i did not want to have. it was not fun.

he was nitpicking words, i teased him about it.

Understood. As I said, it is just a touchy subject. I took it the wrong way, especially given the quote you chose to use. No worries.

That's seriously fucked up, especially coming from the instructor of a sexual assault class. You have a right to be touchy.

True, but in his defense he is just some unlucky soldier with enough rank that his chain-of-command said, "Congratulations Sergeant, you are our new Sexual Assault Trainer. You're going to training for two weeks then you will be an expert." He didn't want the job, is probably not qualified, he just happened to be the sucker they chose.

That said in my experience it is a rather pervasive attitude that all men like sex so all men want it no matter what.

On this, rape/violation fantasies have nothing to do with actually wanting to be raped. There are varying hypotheses as to their origin and meaning, but none that indicate an actual desire for such. The one that I find most plausible is that in a society where women's sexuality is feared and repressed they offer a "safe" outlet for desire. IOW, if you're "taken" you don't have to feel guilty about it. Another one being the fantasy of overwhelming desirability. "I'm so hot this man who can have his way with any woman he wants but chooses me."

I understand that. I just think it sets a dangerous precedent and leaves room for danger and abuse. "Oh, she likes the idea of being taken...sweet." But whatever, all is good. It's not like men do not have their own fucked up versions of fantasy. Mine involves a unicorn, Peter Dinklage, and the female cast members of Grease. Okay, not really.

[cori93437]

It's not like men do not have their own fucked up versions of fantasy. Mine involves a unicorn, Peter Dinklage, and the female cast members of Grease.

You are so AWESOME... Mr. Real American Man!

[Blackcatbone]

True, but in his defense he is just some unlucky soldier with enough rank that his chain-of-command said, "Congratulations Sergeant, you are our new Sexual Assault Trainer. You're going to training for two weeks then you will be an expert." He didn't want the job, is probably not qualified, he just happened to be the sucker they chose.

That said in my experience it is a rather pervasive attitude that all men like sex so all men want it no matter what.

Ah, in that context it makes more sense. And I agree with the second part. Was going to throw in that the belief that men will take it however they can get it feeds into this.

I understand that. I just think it sets a dangerous precedent and leaves room for danger and abuse. "Oh, she likes the idea of being taken...sweet." But whatever, all is good. It's not like men do not have their own fucked up versions of fantasy.

Oh absolutely, and most women understand this and mostly don't share unless they know for certain that they can trust their partner. Pop culture just taps into the often subconscious fantasy, and often in media that has a predominantly female audience. Women who would never read bodice rippers will read Twilight, 50 Shades of Gray and watch True Blood.

Mine involves a unicorn, Peter Dinklage, and the female cast members of Grease. Okay, not really.

So I had to look up Peter Dinklage. Thanks a lot.

[canio6]

So I had to look up Peter Dinklage. Thanks a lot.

You're welcome. He's a sexy dude and a good actor.

[cori93437]

You're welcome. He's a sexy dude and a good actor.

+1

He definitely belongs in this thread.

[Grok]

Few people have an appreciation for language and history.

Eh? Let me put this in perspective for you.

<Saorise> I enjoy spring.
<kenn> Why would you enjoy a coiled piece of metal?

<Saoirse> The car needs a new tire.
<kenn> Why are you trying to exhaust your car and make it tired?

<Saoirse> You need staples for a good diet.
<kenn> Why would you want to eat bent pieces of metal?

<Saoirse> I need to hit the shower.
<kenn> Why would you punch a shower?

[justyouraveragecavemen]

Eh? Let me put this in perspective for you.

Wait, kenn will choose a response from his list:
A) dafuq?
B) What does that have to do with anything?
C) What does that mean?

[bloodorchid]

i giggled like a school girl