July 4 is only one of very many special occasions that we celebrate. It's OK if you choose to loosen the standards for every holiday, birthday, graduation, family get-together, whatever, but it's not fair to tell someone 'Why don't you just eat it THIS ONE TIME and get over it.'
I believe that people shouldn't stress out at all over eating non-primal food if they want to. But if someone doesn't want the pie because it isn't a big deal to them, i.e. having pie doesn't make the event more special for them (and I get it, and it's fine, that thanksgiving means pie to lots of people!), then why do they need to eat the pie??
Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.
Griff's cholesterol primer
5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
bloodorchid is always right
Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )
It amazes me how someone can turn a 4th of July picnic into such a huge drama fest.
wag more, bark less
well, it's 'someones' -- a lot of people in the dynamic.
i think it's just like that with family. old patterns, old resentments, old battles. it's really a part of life.
end of the day, i've been teaching myself to ignore stuff. to be non-reactive with family. it's been helpful.
in this situation, i would bring food that would make me happy (enough to share) allow the family to eat whatever they'd like, and eat what i'd like, and change the topic anytime someone tried to pick a fight with me.
i've been doing this with my ILs over skype, and it's been working. I'm hoping that I"ll be able to do it when they are here on holiday.
I know you said she's judgmental and didn't ask for the party to be a pot luck. So what. Bring a hot dish or a dessert or a bottle of wine or both just to be friendly. Seriously I would do this for a 4th of July picnic where I was bringing four hungry children anyway just to be nice. If she gets mad at you for bringing a gift, then maybe she's not really worth your time.
Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3
You can't pick family. You can walk away.
Not worth the stress? Then see ya, and let go.
If your family has nothing better to do than pick on each other...
Maybe in 5, 10 , 20 years, or never y'all can be adult and chose to focus on loving each other for who they are.
If everyone around you is sabotaging your life style or causing problems... maybe your wound a little too tight.
Last edited by springnr; 07-02-2012 at 06:54 AM.
Or just eat it- I have eaten all of those things except beans (because I don't like them) and pie.... and nothing was that bad. Seriously, corn on the cob is not bad for you on occasion, nor is potato salad. Pig out on chicken and take small portions of everything else. Bring a drink for your kids (pop might be a bad idea for young ones off the sugar). Bring a dish to share.
Or just go and quietly only eat what you can, don't make pronouncements. Just eat your chicken and be quiet about it. Eat before you go, get the kids full of good food.