We have been invited to family 4th of july dinner. Would you eat this? page 2

[Sandra in BC]

Take a primal salad and some meatballs and watermelon to share. All are mainstream enough that nobody would question your 'crazy' new diet.

I have found it easier to quietly integrate grain free foods into the menu than set myself above or apart from the crowd. Don't be a diet pariah.

[sjmc]

Or, OR -- now hear me out, I know this is crazy -- OR, you eat the damned food for one insignificant day. Kind of like how you were eating 3 months ago and were perfectly alive and well.

Edit: Here is another thought. You certainly are treating this like any other short-term fad diet. If this is going to be how you eat for the rest of your life, then you have to be flexible enough to allow for, and dare I say, enjoy some deviations from it every now and then. It takes a certain type of personality to do something in an unrelenting, hardcore manner from day one and have it stick, but the average person is not like that. The more you resist temptation, the harder you will cave in down the road.

That's a totally fine option, but it also sets a precedent for the sister to expect the family to eat food they don't want to eat, and she sounds like the kind of person who will give the poster shit even if she does just play along this time. 'Resisting temptation' isn't the problem here.


One route is to just eat chicken and eggs yourself (and potato salad if you want it, you're already eating mayonnaise), but let your kid and husbands eat as they please. Gives your sister less to gripe about.

Could you ask to invite some mutual friends who would eat your sister's food? Then there's an excuse to offer to make something to bring, so there will be 'enough to go around.'

[noodletoy]

be honest with her and resist the passive-aggressive power play. tell her up-front that yes, you are still eating this way and that it's a change you plan to make for life. if you've yo-yo dieted in the past, she may have trouble believing you, but that is her issue, not yours.

tell her you have no wish to put her out and will bring a few dishes that everybody will enjoy. that's it.

[Jodis]

Sounds like pretty standard Fourth of July picnic food to me. Traditional, even. So, take along a salad and some fruit as other suggested. If she says anything, say something like: "It's not the food, it's me (us). I didn't realize it until recently, but too much starch makes me (us) feel ill. So we just had a taste and are filling in with veggies and fruit. The chicken is delicious, by the way!" Then say something to distract her, like how cute her little Billy is holding his little sister under in the kiddie pool.

People are far more accepting of people who "can't" eat something than those who "won't". May be dumb, unfair, whatever, but it's still true. And if you eat just a little, but say you need to control your portions, you look even more reasonable. Confound their expectations and still stay (mostly) true to yourself!

ETA: But take a militant stand on the sodapop. That way, you'll be lucky if your kids only drink one instead of ten.

[newberrycrater]

Family food is so frought with landmines. Best of luck to ya. My suggestion is to eat anything and everything as long as it doesn't contain any wheat. Just keep your hard line there. Personally, I find wheat to be the easiest way to backslide into eating crap all the time. If anyone asks about you and yours not eating wheat just say it upsets your stomachs. Eat and enjoy the rest. Be sure to compliment your hostess on the wonderful food and thank her for all her hard work several times. It will be hard for your sister to bitch at you when you're busy praising her. When you get there, hug her and kiss her and tell her how happy you are to see her. Then shout "Now let's party!!"

[Howdiho]

Our diet has been pretty clean for 15 months now. We have recently got rid of the grains and i feel better than ever. My insulin is level and i feel free from the cravings and hunger. What makes you think this is a short term thing? This will be for the rest of my life and i wish i had known about it 30 yeras ago.

Knowing what i do now, i dont feel good feeding my kids crap or letting them eat food with nitrates or preservatives or msg, etc... My brother and mother have died in the last few years from cancer. I do take a strong stance on this as i dont need more medical issues, and i dont need to die from cancer or something else leaving young children because i knew i could have made a better decision by eating better. In addition, my 5 year old has been going to speech for 2.5 years...2 to 3 times a week. He was diagnosed with severe apraxia and now he is mild. The biggest change occured 15 months ago wheni started giving himm fish oil and got rid of the crap food. Clearly, proper nutrition has an impact on healing. Right now i have been very strict about grains to see if that will help my son further. I dont want to sabatoge giving him grains for the day whei have been so careful.

[Howdiho]

You,re right...it will start a precedent that will make her think that were back to eating whatever and then there will be the issue next time.

Something that she said to me a few months ago is that we cant controll what we feed our kids. Well i am controlling what i feed them whether it is good or choose to purchase crap at the store. The issue is, should i let my kids eat crap at relatives or at school? Maybe if parents put more control into what they fed their kids, there wouldnt be so much obesity, diabetes, leukemia and other diseases in children.. I think about my brother who used to buy the good steaks for himself and fed the hot dogs to the kids. If anything, the children need the good growing food!

[Howdiho]

I just asked my kids how they would feel if they could only eat the eggs and chicken and they said they would feel bad. Why? Beacuse they want to eat everythin. They want to eat the pie. I can see it now. Mom, can i have some doritos? No, i will say, can i have pop? No. why? Even though they know why. We dont buy it and the kids never ask for it. It just isnt something we buy. I dont want this to turn into them feeling bad for me saying no to the crap....and then me feeling guilty because i am not giving enough latitude for proceessed, nutrient free non growing foods.

[Nady]

You want to set the precedent ~ the one that lets her know that you are serious about your dietary choices and will always contribute to the menu with primal friendly foods that everyone can enjoy. Besides, how can you have a great 4th without watermelon? And maybe a crock pot full of hot wings?

[JudyCr]

I would definitely NOT eat any and everything there.. It's too hard to get back on track, especially if your kids have worked hard doing without junk.. that's HARD and they need encouragement and praise everyday for being so disciplined at a young age. Tell her your family feels much better without grains, sugar, processed foods & soda and you aren't allowing one day to mess up 90 days of hard work, so you'll be bringing healthy dishes. If she says no, then your family can show up and visit with relatives after a wonderful meal at home or at a fine restaurant.