Becoming the example and leaving everyone in the dust... page

[kkratz57]

...is so much harder than I ever expected.

Been following Mark for about a year and a half now. In theory, I fully know in my heart and mind THIS is the way to eat, to live and to be. In practice, not so much. I preach and preach and preach, but when it's coming from a person who still hasn't fully and truly committed to make it work for herself, it rightfully falls on deaf ears. I mean really -- who in their right mind will take dietary and living advice from a 5'2" - 195lb (sexy) woman?

This all sooooooo very clicked for me last week. I had gone through a phase of wanting to be like everyone else by being food-social. You know. Pizza, office cake, Friday take-out, donuts with the husband, graduation party food, etc. And beer. Lots and lots of delicious beer. And I'm gluten and dairy sensitive! Yet I still knowingly did damage to myself, essentially killing myself for acceptance.

Then it all caught up to me. My digestion is in the toilet (ha, literally) and I'm sure my immune system is out of whack. I gained back weight I had lost. The tipping point was a week ago when I had a night of beers and look like I was 9 mo preggers. Yup, looks like my old friend candida has come back to visit.

I've been through this before. I told myself then NEVER AGAIN. And here I am again. I wallowed for a bit (ok, I'm still doing a little wallowing). And cried. The part of my life of going out to the bar and knocking back some beers with my husband was ending -- one of our favorite activities. I knew the struggle ahead of me to conquer the yeasty beast and get back on track once again.

Fast forward to yesterday. My eating is tight. I'm doing some walking and gardening. Supplementing properly to get my digestion back on course. It's all moving in the right direction. But, what is going to make it different this time? The revelation I had taking a walk. A clear-headed walk. I've always been the type of person that never seemed to truly fit in with everyone else. With me, there's always a 'twist'. Primal. This. Is. My. Twist. And it's OK that others around me aren't on board the train. I can talk all I want about making the journey. On how good it feels. But, until I arrive, I can NEVER be the example.

I now have NO FEAR. After a long talk with my husband, he's completely supportive of my chosen way even if it's not his (yet -- I really think he needs to see it for himself and make the choice to join me on his own). There is no fear of our relationship falling apart because of change. Yes, we'll have to find alternatives to hoisting beers (mmmmm, vodka -- ok, that was too easy, lol). It'll be a challenge at times, but knowing he is still my safety net is huge.

I finally have NO FEAR of everyone else. Any naysayer. My coworkers, friends and family. The "oh you can have just a little, can't ya" and "what CAN you eat" people. F*CK them. Seriously. I'm done. I'm done trying to be part of a society that's killing everyone with wheat, sugar and food chemicals. Done, done, done. I am now my own primal person. I won't lecture. I won't conform. I will just be and let my transformation speak for itself.

<<thanks for listening -- not expecting any replies -- just really needed to air this in a friendly and understanding place -- these forums can be crazy at times, but yinz are all cool>>

[Figlio di Moros]

First off, you can drink wine at many bars; I'd make the mistake of sticking w/ beer, myself, and it wasn't until a night of getting shitfaced on wine that I noticed the beer-shits the next morning weren't normal. As far as dairy intolerance, it is a side-effect of gluten sensitivity.

Onto failing your diet-

Wiki

Addiction is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behaviour despite adverse consequences,[1] or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors.[2]

Behavioral (non-chemical) addiction is a form of addiction which does not rely on drugs like alcohol. Increasingly referred to as process addiction[1] or non-substance-related addiction [2][3]) behavioral addiction includes a compulsion to repeatedly engage in an action until said action causes serious negative consequences to the person's physical, mental, social, and/or financial well-being.[4][5] One sign that a behavior has become addictive is if it persists despite these consequences.

Behavioral addiction, which is sometimes referred to as impulse control disorders, are increasingly recognized as treatable forms of addictions.[6] The type of behaviors which some people have identified as being addictive include gambling, food, sex, viewing of pornography, use of computers, playing video games, use of the internet, work, exercise, spiritual obsession (as opposed to religious devotion), pain [7], cutting, and shopping.

I thought wiki would be a slightly better source, but they don't have the list of most addictive behaviors or breakdown "food addiction" beyond overeating. I know someone who has an addiction, that they admit, to sugar. Whereas your behavior doesn't indicate a severe compulsion to eat unhealthy food, the temptation of "social eating", if it's recurrent, does seem analogous to people who break sobreity or smoke when they've quit. Maybe framing it that way in your mind might help you remain more stalworth in the future.

[namelesswonder]

I like your thought process I've been through this revelation many times in my life, in regards to recovering from depression and anxiety, as well as building the healthiest body that I can. It is hard! I believe that we all must find our sticking point somehow or another, and it must be for ourselves and no one else. To get a bit sappy, you will likely find true self-worth and self-love on this journey, and that will make it all the more easier to stick with it.

Good luck on your journey!

[kkratz57]

First off, you can drink wine at many bars; I'd make the mistake of sticking w/ beer, myself, and it wasn't until a night of getting shitfaced on wine that I noticed the beer-shits the next morning weren't normal. As far as dairy intolerance, it is a side-effect of gluten sensitivity.
Whereas your behavior doesn't indicate a severe compulsion to eat unhealthy food, the temptation of "social eating", if it's recurrent, does seem analogous to people who break sobreity or smoke when they've quit. Maybe framing it that way in your mind might help you remain more stalworth in the future.

Thanks -- I now realize it is about frame of reference. Finding that balance of being in familiar social situations without resorting to destructive behaviors. And yes, wine doesn't nearly do the number on me that my old friend beer does. All booze is out temporarily, then it's on to develop a better relationship.

[kkratz57]

I like your thought process I've been through this revelation many times in my life, in regards to recovering from depression and anxiety, as well as building the healthiest body that I can. It is hard! I believe that we all must find our sticking point somehow or another, and it must be for ourselves and no one else. To get a bit sappy, you will likely find true self-worth and self-love on this journey, and that will make it all the more easier to stick with it.

Good luck on your journey!

Thanks!!!

[Winterbike]

I just tell myself: ''You have the right to want more in life, it's okay dude''. It works surprisingly well.

[cantare]

"preach and preach and preach", "leave everyone in the dust", "killing myself for acceptance" ... definitely heavy baggage for a journey of personal transformation; think you're very wise to drop that stuff & focus on yourself!

[kkratz57]

Yup and yup to both Winterbike and cantare. It's quite liberating!

[tomi]

I like your thought process I've been through this revelation many times in my life, in regards to recovering from depression and anxiety, as well as building the healthiest body that I can. It is hard! I believe that we all must find our sticking point somehow or another, and it must be for ourselves and no one else. To get a bit sappy, you will likely find true self-worth and self-love on this journey, and that will make it all the more easier to stick with it.

Good luck on your journey!

well said! Sappy and all

[primalprincess7]

I hear ya on the F-'em....just do your thing and everyone else can kiss your healthy, toned, primal ass lol