Calling any recovered EDs - I need som help with binge-fast-binge cycle
I'd really like some help from any forum members who have recovered from, or are recovering from an Eating Disorder. I'm struggling here with a non-stop cycle of binging, fasting to counter act the binge, then binging again.
There are a lot of threads on here (one current) about binging and they have been helpful, but I want to hear some hope and inspiration from people who have been anorexic or bulimic and have used primal to help them move on.
My background is anorexic for about 24 years with some long gaps of recovery. Current episode has been nearly 2 years now and the only one where I haven't been underweight, my BMI is about 19 I think. I have been fully primal for 7 months, I see a Psychiatrist and I attend regular meetings of Overeaters Anonymous and am working that program with my OA sponsor.
But I cannot seem to stop binging. I hate it, it's like a switch goes off and I can't stop. It happens 95% of the time in the evenings after dinner. I try to binge only on Primal food, but it invariably involves lots of dried fruit and nuts. Last night I had sugar and grains and was ill all night long. It's a perpetual self-sabotage and I have had more than enough of it. I'm at my wits end, I hate living like this. I embrace Primal and mostly have a good head on my shoulders dealing with this very difficult recovery, but I think it's time now to reach out directly to anybody who's been there and got through it.
I've put on about 2kg since being Primal (I know, muscle, fat loss and all that) but it does my head in. I'm still obsessed with the scales. I have stopped counting calories though which is progress. After a binge I IF for a week or two (missing breakfast) but then the binge comes back, or I start thinking I've lost a bit of weight and I can have a handful of almonds. Sadly it seems I cannot just have a handful of anything. I have a food plan for each day wihch does help, but I still binge. I've had 4 binges this week and the FEAR of weight gain gives me suicidal thoughts.
I need some help, advice and support. Anyone once anorexic and recovered with a primal diet? Please help me. I'm desperate.