Man has it ever been a while. Today is 2-15-2014. Never thought I'd be where I am today.
So last year about my birthday time I was pushing a size 14, about 215lbs. I was feeling great about this paleo thing and thinking I was doing great. So I let a lot of things slide. Well really just let two things slide. I added gluten free junk and I stopped working out. I was still eating paleo minus the snacks and just wasn't walking around or lifting. I can still lose right? Wrong. I got on the scale one day and come to find out I'm at 250lbs again. I. Freak. Out. So I thought that everything would be fine if I started walking and some dancing in December. I do it for 3 weeks or so. I. Freak. Out. Again. Lose my entire mind this time as my scale says 248. I start lifting heavily, much more than I know I can handle and to exhaustion. I start doing heavy 45 minute cardio. I do all of this 6 days a week. I eat 1200 Calories and try to go into ketosis, convinced that's the only way to lose any weight.
So what happens? I do this for a month and lose 4 pounds. Not enough! I scream at myself. I pound every forum I can think of, including this one, to find out why I'm not in deep ketosis and I'm not losing weight quickly. I record everything in myfitnesspal. I stop drinking tea because I read that it doesn't hydrate you and just drink warm water. I calculate how much food, down to the gram, I put in my mouth. I beat myself up... Sometimes literally...Because I go over 45 carbs. I refuse to eat vegetables that have fiber in them as I'm scared of the carbs.
I go to the hospital.
Why? I start developing chest pains. So bad that I'm in the parking lot that morning looking like Fred Sanford.
Well it wasn't a heart attack. It was costochondritis and a wake up call.
Come to find out three things:
1. I was lifting too much.
2. I was stressing myself way out.
3. I was not, I repeat, not 247lbs.
I was 208. With 3 layers of clothes on (the office I work in is cold and I planned to walk that day in the 35degree weather). My scale at home, you see, was broken. It when it works, it says everybody is 113kilos. It doesn't even display in pounds anymore. I put myself through hell because I thought I was the biggest failure in all of paleodom. Now I'm at the lowest I've been in years.
And I don't know how to wrap me head around it. I'd have thought that once i hit 200 I'd look closer to what a woman should look like. That's not the case. I still have horribly fat gross parts. Yes I have 50lbs to go and I'm grateful for it but what now? I can't lift for a month, yes I can walk but waking won't get me ripped and I'm still far too jiggly and gross to sprint in public.
Not sure what to do and I'm confused with feeling happy to be 208 and upset at being 208.
Never thought I'd be here.
Congratulations. Looks like you had a couple instances of sugar-relapse along the way. That's the big thing, just stay off the sugar and bread, they tend to trigger eating binges of more sugar and bread.