Dude, I stink. page 6

[NicMcCool]

Update:

Went to the doctor this morning, didn't expect him to be so young.

McCool Rule #27: Don't trust dudes without beards.

Dr. Doogie was all, "What's the problem?" And I was like "Dude, I stink. I never stank before, and now I'm walking around with cartoon fume lines shooting out my pits."

And that's when he asked, "Do you workout?"

"What?"

"Do you workout? Exercising can cause excess sweating."

That's when I stood up and was all, "I think I better talk to your father, kid. 'Cause this shit ain't working. Does it look like I workout? Or are you just thinking I fell out my momma's baby-garden looking like this?"

After I calmed down he took my measurements, some swabs, and some blood. His "preliminary observation" (fancy talk for an educated guess) is that I have elevated testosterone levels. I almost hugged the little dude.

More to come when the test results are in. As for now, sticking to the higher fat diet and less protein. Stank seems to have dissipated a bit.

Also upped my water intake to about 1.5-2 gallons a day.

[NicMcCool]

have your steak with pats of butter on top, with (some) onions, garlic and mushrooms fried in butter and bacon fat. Eat avocados, have a real protein shake made with raw eggs, coconut oil and coconut water, half a banana. Eat wild salmon with butter on top.

I just had a mouthgasm.

[NicMcCool]

For our patients with liver failure, we give them lactulose so that they poop 5-6 times a day, and they poop out the ammonia. Maybe try some mag citrate? That should make you poop......

I'll look into this. I'm usually backed up like an inner-city DMV.

[Danielle5690]

Also, the no-protein shake thing is killing me. While all my dudes are pounding their post-workout recovery malts, I'm sipping on some green tea and swallowing the aforementioned lard stick. Not high up on the manly list. I'd rather do half-squats in a singlet. (as opposed to my daily full-squats in a singlet)

The smell is still there, but at least now everyone wants to lick me.

I scheduled a quack appointment on Monday, so more to come.

You can still have a post-workout shake without the powder! My post-workout shakes consist of coconut milk, frozen bananas and frozen berries. Of course, I'm a 120-lb female martial artist and not a weight-lifting man the size of a commercial refrigerator, so my energy needs are a bit different. My point is you don't have to miss out on the post-workout shake "experience" just because you gave up protein powder.

[DashFire]

Have you ever tried one of the salt crystal deodorants? [the link is the brand I usually use, but there are others]. I don't use them all the time, but occasionally will go back to them, when I'm feeling the need for a break from regular deodorant. They don't really help with perspiration, but they are nonsticky and kill scent-causing bacteria, so usually after 2-3 days I have absolutely no smell whatsoever. There are even occasional times when I'm regularly using them and I'll forget to put it on in the morning, and it's not a big deal, cause there just isn't much active bacteria anymore to cause a smell.

One tip though, especially when first using one, make sure to rinse the crystal off after you apply it. Otherwise it might start stinking from the residue and bacteria from your previous deodorant.

Also, shaved armpits help, which if you do bodybuilding shows, I don't imagine is a big deal. Hair traps sweat & bacteria.

[NicMcCool]

You can still have a post-workout shake without the powder! My post-workout shakes consist of coconut milk, frozen bananas and frozen berries. Of course, I'm a 120-lb female martial artist and not a weight-lifting man the size of a commercial refrigerator, so my energy needs are a bit different. My point is you don't have to miss out on the post-workout shake "experience" just because you gave up protein powder.

I like where your head is at, dudette.

I actual drink a chicken puree smoothie post workout. Throw in some kale, a little celery salt and it still tastes... well,... awful.

And chunky. Definitely chunky.

(I also make a fruit shake pre-morning workout, but never with coconut milk... I'll have to try that.)

[NicMcCool]

Have you ever tried one of the salt crystal deodorants? Also, shaved armpits help, which if you do bodybuilding shows, I don't imagine is a big deal. Hair traps sweat & bacteria.

I don't know about all that crystal mumbo-jumbo. I had a client that wanted me to wear little crystals and magnets on my wrists and knees to help my pain. I told her we don't allow gypsies in my gym and kicked her out.

Also, I'm totes shorn. Bodyhair is for Lilith Fair.

[Danielle5690]

I like where your head is at, dudette.

I actual drink a chicken puree smoothie post workout. Throw in some kale, a little celery salt and it still tastes... well,... awful.

And chunky. Definitely chunky.

(I also make a fruit shake pre-morning workout, but never with coconut milk... I'll have to try that.)

Wow, a chicken smoothie sounds positively disgusting. I hope you're not serious. Coconut milk is a beautiful thing, you'll thank me.

I use the crystal deodorant and find that it works quite well. It's not woo-woo crystal, it's salt crystal. It's basically a bar of salt that creates an antibacterial barrier when you wet it and rub it on your skin.

[RichMahogany]

I use the crystal deodorant and find that it works quite well. It's not woo-woo crystal, it's salt crystal. It's basically a bar of salt that creates an antibacterial barrier when you wet it and rub it on your skin.

It's a rock, dude. It's a manly, bacteria-killing rock. You moisten it, rub it on your pits, grunt a few times, headbutt the bathroom door open, and go about your day.

[sbhikes]

The episode with Doogie Howser was pretty funny.

I am saddened trying to imagine a life like yours where everything you eat is so disgusting and supplemental. Sticks of butter? Butter should enhance a meal, not be a meal. Chicken in a glass with a straw? It's a lot better on a plate.